Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: I have a question(well a few really)
Annierooroo Joined Mon 10/20/14 Posts: 12552	Sat 03/26/16 12:15 PM
I only message people on the forums because I personally can't be bothered with scammers. My settings are high so they can't email me. I tend to stick to the forums. I don't check whose on line. I will check friends. if they don't come on the forums they done get a pass. I answer emails but if a regular hasn't been on I send an email to see hi and how they are. Forums is the only reason I'm on here.

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sat 03/26/16 03:02 PM
Apart from the the women on the forums I kinda inter-act with, most women who are bold enough to send me a "first" message...get treated like a scammer...sorry. Took awhile to figure this out...but my gut feeling always pays off..They have nothing to lose...On the other hand a genuine woman sending a "first" messages, generally finds me at her doorstep, as I invite myself over for a little drinky...lol...and that surprises her...followed by having words thrown back and forth...okay, I am dreaming this up....From experience, genuine woman...never make the first move.... on me ....just saying... There are a few who have messaged me first, but then just kinda disappeared, they post on forums so i guess that rules a scammer out? Must be cue to pull back on the reigns then thanks for the reply.

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sat 03/26/16 03:04 PM
Hey giantowl! I have found that chatrooms are the last place to look for courtesy... Or consistencty .... or transparency.lol. The chatroom presents you with more choices throretically but also greater exposure to losers as well. It is better to keep your expectation relatively low to buffer yourself from disappointment. And as in offline dating, only make time for the people who make time for you Anyone who likes you will always make room for you. If they dont, keep it moving till you find someone who will thanks for your reply, Peggy. i don't make time for many people, you learn as you get older to trust very few people, very few people want to be friends with you i have found

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sat 03/26/16 03:06 PM
Hey Giantowl/ BIG AL, Here is my spin... You message them or they message you..after going back and forth a few times there is so much that can be said now initially they may not be interested and just being cordial.. but soon things start to go from small talk and kind of get into personal issues like what they do for a living? how many kids? now If both parties are cool with that.. it may continue if both parties are cool with that and developing a sort of friendship... but If one party or the other are not interested and was just being nice they may start to gradually not put more into them e-mails or communicate.. Or some folks may not like the back and forth of emails.. and the time consuming waiting for replies and time inbetween the next response..It kind of disturbs the flow..(I tend to feel this way).. But either way if it is someone in the forums and it stopped I would keep future exchanges in the threads and forums.. Unless of course you know where they live.. then I would suggest hiding in the driveway and waiting for them to return from work and a surprise hello would be in order... thanks for your reply too, i think by reading people's replies that it's quite a common thing to just pack up a conversation in the middle of it, so to speak. but a bit of courtesy wouldn't go amiss i guess. haha i wouldnt be wasting my time on someone who hasn't got time for me

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sat 03/26/16 03:08 PM
I think my face alone is enough to piss people off Hmmmmmmmm.....On Second thought????....I think so too....lolzzzzz JK Apologise to my bruised feelings now

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33432	Sun 03/27/16 02:16 AM Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Sun 03/27/16 02:20 AM
The scammer thing is BS. From what I get she didn't send the first message, and she/they are active in the forums. I think that maybe you make more of the conversation than there actually is? I sometimes reply to guys that seem genuine. But when I send a friendly reply, it doesn't mean that I'm interested in maybe dating them. I'm just being a decent human being and replying. Partially so men experience that not every woman online is a biotch and some have the decency to reply. Some then seem to think I'm interested in them. So it's misinterpretation on their part. You can simply be too eager and read more into something than there actually is. Another scenario is that possible she also thought there was potential, but after a few messages it became clear that the click/chemistry/common interest isn't there. And sometimes such contacts just fade away. I often find this is a mutual thing. But of course if you read more into it, maybe had too high expectations of it, prematurely ... In general I'd say, get a more realistic view. A few friendly messages don't mean you're in a budding relationship. . . .

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sun 03/27/16 03:29 AM
The scammer thing is BS. From what I get she didn't send the first message, and she/they are active in the forums. I think that maybe you make more of the conversation than there actually is? I sometimes reply to guys that seem genuine. But when I send a friendly reply, it doesn't mean that I'm interested in maybe dating them. I'm just being a decent human being and replying. Partially so men experience that not every woman online is a biotch and some have the decency to reply. Some then seem to think I'm interested in them. So it's misinterpretation on their part. You can simply be too eager and read more into something than there actually is. Another scenario is that possible she also thought there was potential, but after a few messages it became clear that the click/chemistry/common interest isn't there. And sometimes such contacts just fade away. I often find this is a mutual thing. But of course if you read more into it, maybe had too high expectations of it, prematurely ... In general I'd say, get a more realistic view. A few friendly messages don't mean you're in a budding relationship. . . . Thanks for your reply, crystal. I'm not reading anything into anything, i just wondered if people were the same, like you say if a conversation appears dead then it's maybe because that person doesn't want to talk to you anymore, i understand that of course, which is why i then asked, do you go back and re-ignite or leave it. Personally i am more than happy to chat to people, if they are friendly and interesting, rather than just see everyone as potential partners,i must be one of the few who do lol

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33432	Sun 03/27/16 03:50 AM
The scammer thing is BS. From what I get she didn't send the first message, and she/they are active in the forums. I think that maybe you make more of the conversation than there actually is? I sometimes reply to guys that seem genuine. But when I send a friendly reply, it doesn't mean that I'm interested in maybe dating them. I'm just being a decent human being and replying. Partially so men experience that not every woman online is a biotch and some have the decency to reply. Some then seem to think I'm interested in them. So it's misinterpretation on their part. You can simply be too eager and read more into something than there actually is. Another scenario is that possible she also thought there was potential, but after a few messages it became clear that the click/chemistry/common interest isn't there. And sometimes such contacts just fade away. I often find this is a mutual thing. But of course if you read more into it, maybe had too high expectations of it, prematurely ... In general I'd say, get a more realistic view. A few friendly messages don't mean you're in a budding relationship. . . . Thanks for your reply, crystal. I'm not reading anything into anything, i just wondered if people were the same, like you say if a conversation appears dead then it's maybe because that person doesn't want to talk to you anymore, i understand that of course, which is why i then asked, do you go back and re-ignite or leave it. Personally i am more than happy to chat to people, if they are friendly and interesting, rather than just see everyone as potential partners,i must be one of the few who do lol For me, it just depends. If there was no real spark or common interest, I don't try to re-ignite. If I feel there was something there, and I'm wondering why he disappeared, I would drop a line. Not like 'where are you?" which is clingy/needy, so I'd phrase it differently. Not a question or something that would express 'need'. But I might drop a line, something lighthearted or playful and leave it at that. If they still don't reply, well, message received loud and clear...

bankimoonlaw15 Joined Sun 03/27/16 Posts: 1	Sun 03/27/16 03:50 AM
how can someone show spoilt girl love

Robxbox73 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 5302	Sun 03/27/16 03:56 AM
I think my face alone is enough to piss people off Hmmmmmmmm.....On Second thought????....I think so too....lolzzzzz JK Apologise to my bruised feelings now No offence, Owl. You kinda walked that missle in. Btw, nice posts! Ciao!

Robxbox73 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 5302	Sun 03/27/16 03:58 AM
how can someone show spoilt girl love No, But you should start a new thread under that subject line.

mikey5360 Joined Wed 04/23/14 Posts: 26096	Sun 03/27/16 04:15 AM
You send a friendly, hello type message to someone after reading their profile, and they message you back in a friendly way, so you send a couple more, then ............. nothing, all contact stops. This first paragraph says it...IMHO a hello message is just a hello message....if any guy gets no message back back after that first exchange....you've got the hint...right... as the initial contactor we cant hold any expectations.... So you just presume that they are busy, or haven't been online etc, then after a week you see that they have been online all that time, sometimes they post on the forums etc. We cant presume anything....except that they don't want an extended chat.... Ive seen this quite a bit...being a couple on this site...this issue has arisen a few times where the other party has written to her and what started as hellos turned into expectations of extended conversations and more.... In this crazy anonymous internet world, etiquette displayed by both sexes ignores the common real world methods of how to interact... Sadly some of us guys don't know when to stop writing.... Sadly no reply means no....

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sun 03/27/16 04:45 AM
The scammer thing is BS. From what I get she didn't send the first message, and she/they are active in the forums. I think that maybe you make more of the conversation than there actually is? I sometimes reply to guys that seem genuine. But when I send a friendly reply, it doesn't mean that I'm interested in maybe dating them. I'm just being a decent human being and replying. Partially so men experience that not every woman online is a biotch and some have the decency to reply. Some then seem to think I'm interested in them. So it's misinterpretation on their part. You can simply be too eager and read more into something than there actually is. Another scenario is that possible she also thought there was potential, but after a few messages it became clear that the click/chemistry/common interest isn't there. And sometimes such contacts just fade away. I often find this is a mutual thing. But of course if you read more into it, maybe had too high expectations of it, prematurely ... In general I'd say, get a more realistic view. A few friendly messages don't mean you're in a budding relationship. . . . Thanks for your reply, crystal. I'm not reading anything into anything, i just wondered if people were the same, like you say if a conversation appears dead then it's maybe because that person doesn't want to talk to you anymore, i understand that of course, which is why i then asked, do you go back and re-ignite or leave it. Personally i am more than happy to chat to people, if they are friendly and interesting, rather than just see everyone as potential partners,i must be one of the few who do lol For me, it just depends. If there was no real spark or common interest, I don't try to re-ignite. If I feel there was something there, and I'm wondering why he disappeared, I would drop a line. Not like 'where are you?" which is clingy/needy, so I'd phrase it differently. Not a question or something that would express 'need'. But I might drop a line, something lighthearted or playful and leave it at that. If they still don't reply, well, message received loud and clear... That's éxactly how i play it too, their loss and all that

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sun 03/27/16 04:49 AM
I think my face alone is enough to piss people off Hmmmmmmmm.....On Second thought????....I think so too....lolzzzzz JK Apologise to my bruised feelings now No offence, Owl. You kinda walked that missle in. Btw, nice posts! Ciao! I did that, but i'm a big boy words don't hurt me and if i can't make fun of myself then i'm damned if i'm gonna get upset if someone else does

blah..blah.. Joined Sat 04/26/14 Posts: 1648	Sun 03/27/16 04:52 AM
@Mikey5360 Thanks for your reply, I know what you're saying, but if i don't get an initial response then i don't message them again. neither do i try and carry on a conversation if they seem to not want to, i'm not pushy , i respect that people don't want to chat.

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Sun 03/27/16 05:46 AM
Maybe something changed and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe they became involved with someone else and are focusing on that direction only, either way you seem like a genuine person and I am sure someone else will soon take notice of you.Best of luck to you sir.

Gummiente Joined Thu 03/17/16 Posts: 151	Sun 03/27/16 05:50 AM
You're lucky. I don't get emails from anyone, including scammers.

butribu Joined Tue 03/17/15 Posts: 10534	Sun 03/27/16 06:58 AM Edited by butribu on Sun 03/27/16 07:04 AM
i don't have much idea as i only talk to some forum friends, just chit-chatting.. the others i delete them all even some i do not get bothered to read.

butribu Joined Tue 03/17/15 Posts: 10534	Sun 03/27/16 07:04 AM
The scammer thing is BS. From what I get she didn't send the first message, and she/they are active in the forums. I think that maybe you make more of the conversation than there actually is? I sometimes reply to guys that seem genuine. But when I send a friendly reply, it doesn't mean that I'm interested in maybe dating them. I'm just being a decent human being and replying. Partially so men experience that not every woman online is a biotch and some have the decency to reply. Some then seem to think I'm interested in them. So it's misinterpretation on their part. You can simply be too eager and read more into something than there actually is. Another scenario is that possible she also thought there was potential, but after a few messages it became clear that the click/chemistry/common interest isn't there. And sometimes such contacts just fade away. I often find this is a mutual thing. But of course if you read more into it, maybe had too high expectations of it, prematurely ... In general I'd say, get a more realistic view. A few friendly messages don't mean you're in a budding relationship. . . . Crystal expressed some points perfectly well! i totally agree.

adivorcedone Joined Wed 08/12/15 Posts: 7591	Sun 03/27/16 07:12 AM
That is because you are smart. Basically, u have to make up your mind, as to why are you here? To find love and romance? To chit chat? To make friends? To gain insight....etc. Once you have decided, what you want....you follow the direction....just saying...