so true. so true. HIGH FIVE

question?Bobzeaux
after you are feeling more comfortable with whoever you are speaking with, do you let them know what your expectations are in your future? Example: Dating, and all that goes along with it?
or are you not realizing that maybe you might have made them feel kinda like inferior to what you were expecting in the situation?
or could it be that some of them just may not be on that same wave length with you?
I am not asking these to offend or say something bad about you
but it is sounding like you attract them but somehow in your communication you lose them, and I was just wondering if its in the conversation they may not be getting what your saying, or they get scared off from the conversation from too many wants or needs or expectations from you it could just be wrong signals in your delivery.
I hope the next one goes better for you anyway

and go for the risk, up those distance miles another 25 miles its a more normal distance range
one again good luck

I don't mean to sound rude...but if I am emailing someone and I find them to be rude and arrogant, if I don't want to email them...I don't owe them an explanation. I just stop emailing them...that right there is a good hint that I don't want to talk to you anymore.
If you talk to your friends in an email like you talk in the threads, I can't say that I blame them for not emailing you back. You seem like you are very arrogant...thats just my opinion.
I think if you try to be patient and not try so hard..this is when love finds you. Besides, why does everyone feel the need to have a mate? Enjoy being young and single...go out and have fun while you can!! Life is short so enjoy it!!

"Try not chasing and they will wonder why you don't. If she is interested you might find out that you are the one being chased"
Hmm.... I don't know what you do when e-mailing, Chazster, since you're looking for friendship instead of dating or a relationship, but assuming that you were looking for that, how would you go about composing an introductory e-mail? You suggest to not chase, but to me, not chasing means not doing anything, and not doing anything means the girl you've got your eye won't ever even be aware of your existence. How do you go about pursuing, but not chasing?

"after you are feeling more comfortable with whoever you are speaking with, do you let them know what your expectations are in your future?"
Actually, I can very rarely ever get that far. With some girls I move a bit more slowly, but others I can connect with a lot faster. As far as expectations go, I let them know right away that I'm not looking for sex on the first date. Is that what's turning them off? :S

"could it be that some of them just may not be on that same wave length with you?"
That seems to be the case, but things go so well and the stop in communication is so sudden I can't determine where it's coming from.

"go for the risk, up those distance miles another 25 miles its a more normal distance range"
It's not about risk, it's about mileage. My job is already killing me in miles and gas expenses. :P

so true! anybody like jazz music can you email me some people you like

People are weird. Wish I knew what to tell ya.

player89 I dont think its any of your business whether or not I have a man, nor is there any relevance. Your advice sucks, and insults the intelligence of those who read it. I wish you'd just not post anymore but doubt thats gonna happen.

Chazster, I totally have to disagree. If a guy is showing minor interest in me then I usually get bored and walk away. Whats the point in a guy who wont be willing to pursue a girl he's interested in?

Bobzeaux, I'm sorry, I think I read that post of yours wrong. I don't know why the girl stopped emailing you, but her loss, right? You'll find that girl, just don't give up.

"if I am emailing someone and I find them to be rude and arrogant, if I don't want to email them...I don't owe them an explanation"
Rude, of course not. Arrogant... of course not, but what exactly does that mean? How does one portray the confidence that women love without crossing the line?

"If you talk to your friends in an email like you talk in the threads, I can't say that I blame them for not emailing you back."
I can talk this way to ANY of my friends and they'll keep coming back because they like talking to me. Only when this topic of conversation is introduced to they quit on me because they have no idea where I'm going wrong, same as I. They don't see me as arrogant, and neither should any girl I try to get closer to since I'm not treating them any differently than I would my friends (which many of my friends would say is my REAL problem).

"I think if you try to be patient and not try so hard..this is when love finds you."
Indulge me; what precisely does it mean to try, but not try so hard? Everyone tells me to stop trying so hard, but they never tell me to stop trying cold turkey. How does one try, but not so hard?

"why does everyone feel the need to have a mate? Enjoy being young and single...go out and have fun while you can!!"
Because human beings are social creatures and the need for a mate is deeply embedded into our genetic programming. I don't know what your dating life has been like, but for me, having the ability to make women like you but then somehow cause them to run away in fear is NOT fun. How do I enjoy my singlehood?

True bob, the chasing thing works more in person than it would on e-mail so its a good thing to consider when out and about. e-mailing is more complicated than in person. Make sure you leave time between your when you get mail and send a new letter. Make them wait a couple of days. If they get them too often it may get old or they may think you have no life and just sit there waiting for e-mails. You can always say you are sorry it took so long to respond and say how busy you were. Lets people know you have a life and have priorities.

ok then glitter then dont talk about me its none of you concern who i date nor is it mine for you..people can be so caveman these days

Glitterybee i think you misunderstand. I am not saying they have to act uninterested and not try to get the date or anything, I am just saying that some girls will actually try to see what all the guy will do to get a date with them or a number. Sometimes they might not even be interested and just want you to buy them drinks or w/e. The point it don't agree with them all the time cause you think they will like you more. You might not be like that but I know girls that are. My sister would go out with guys she didn't really like just for the free nice meal.

chaz i wouldnt argue they will come in a pack and say you dont know jack. BUT I AGREE WITH ALL YOU SAYING

I am unsure what is going wrong in your short term communication:

and letting them know that sex is not the issue for you in the first date is not bad for many women

Do you pick up on her interests and ask her about what she likes to do what she wants for her future?
is there a general subject that you talk about?
what is it that you are into?
that might help in the next situation.
patience is something that works well a few days in between communications might be just what she needs.
Not being able to communicate with you as a dating type thing I am at a loss on how you could fix the problem you are having

well, it does kind of explain why more women are interested in you when you are in a relationship. You have a gf and are happy with her so you don't give the women as much attention back. This gets them curious and will focus more on you. Girls are use to guys going after them and when you don't that makes you stand out and more interesting. Again not all girls are like this but some are.

i feel that the things you are saying is for young women. because i used to do all the things you are saying and i got dimes. but for the older women in here they cant understand that...i agree many women on me now that i have a gf

You're using self depreciating humour.
That never ever works.
There are subtle things that you are doing that you are unaware of which ultimately is the reason why the girls vanish.

Bob, I have more than a years worth of newsletters from that guy I was talking about in my thread: If I went through them and picked out the ones that are relevant to you ; would be you keen to have a read?
Theres bound to be something in those letters that will hit you.

Chazster, I get what your saying now.

YAY you get my point. Like everything else in life its about balance. You have to be interested but not too interested, assertive but not too aggressive, different enough to be interesting but not weird... Its easier in words than in action.

"If they get them too often it may get old or they may think you have no life and just sit there waiting for e-mails."
*lol* In most instances, if I haven't a life because of my quick responses to their e-mails, they too are guilty of the same crime. :)

"The point it don't agree with them all the time cause you think they will like you more."
I point out several things I don't agree with in this conversation as well as thing I DO agree with (not unlike my e-mails). I don't seem to be making too many friends here in this thread. *lol*

"Do you pick up on her interests and ask her about what she likes to do what she wants for her future?"
I NEVER approach anyone who doesn't share any mutual interests with me. If she has a hobby that I share in (or at least something similar), I try to talk about it. If she likes This Film Genre, I start asking about what her favorites are. You know, simple personal stuff like that, like you'd do in real life.

"Not being able to communicate with you as a dating type thing I am at a loss on how you could fix the problem you are having"
...But you're looking for a man for dating, aren't you? :S

"Girls are use to guys going after them and when you don't that makes you stand out and more interesting. Again not all girls are like this but some are."
In my experience, all girls are just the opposite. :( I leave them alone, they leave me alone.

"You're using self depreciating humour."
That's only ONE card in my deck. I've got 51 others to play, which everyone else I know seems to appreciate.

"If I went through them and picked out the ones that are relevant to you ; would be you keen to have a read?"
You could give it a whirl, but don't be offended if I find it riddled with holes.

Even thought they might do quick responces too that doesn't mean you should. If you haven't written yet and they are anticipating it they will think about it more often and thats good for you. Like I said though, the internet version of things may have different rules.. I dont know.