If this girl is so important to you, I don't see why you can't take her along. You can do both parties, the during the day bit with your family and the night party with your girlfriend and friends.

If your mother's party was a surprise party, it was their risk that you couldn't attend. I mean, aren't you supposed to have a life of your own? Do they expect you to be home every weekend in case mommy will need you?
It's basically up to you to go for family obligations (which is what they are) or do what you really want to do.
So yes, you have to man up. You are a grown man, so time to make adult decisions.
And instead of talking to us here, maybe talk to either your mom or your girlfriend or both and tell them about your dilemma.

You only get one Mum.

Sounds like no matter what suggestions are made, you have an excuse why that suggestion will not work. You have a tough decision on your hands.....good luck

Oh ! The webs we begin to weave, when we practice to deceive ...good luck with this situation....( ole Will already knew this would happen. Ha ha...) all I am saying...

eh! I must concur
* A hot relationship or family get together, haha! Soooo easy
1. If your at the family dinner... you will be thing of her.
2. If you are with her, you will be thinking of her haha!

Jtip is right. I suspect you have already made your decision, but I wanna offer food for thought for future dilemmas when it involves females. I have noticed something very sweet about many women which may ultimately be a comfort to you. Even when things don’t go our way , many of us are deeply touched when our guy is showing STRONG evidence of considering our feelings in their decision making process… and also showing great forethought in compensatory action when they are unable to come through for us.

A great place to start in situations like this is to announce to both parties that you love them both and that both events are too important for you to miss , but always be mindful that Jenny’s birthday or any other event that arises, is SELDOM ever likely to define the tone of your relationship with a mate or your future together. Your words and action PRIOR to this event and even more so AFTER the event actually matters way more than a dinner decision or the event in question. Let that always be your guiding principle in tough decisions like these.

It is harder for you to compensate to your mom for your absence at this RARE family reunion than it is to compensate to Jenny for her birthday. With that in mind, it might be helpful to give Jenny the option of celebrating her birthday prior to your family dinner, ALONG with the sincere rain cheque of a more elaborate celebration in the soonest time possible. I trust you to invest a lot of fore thought , creativity and effort into making her birthday celebration prior to the family dinner as memorable as possible with flowers, wine , a nice present etc which would console any gal I think. If she is not happy about the option of celebrating prior to the family event because it is too rushed, then enthusiastically market the compensation plan to her and send as many loving messages or at least one call to her during your family celebration as you can manage without neglecting your family’s company. Most of us women will take comfort in any gestures from our guy that communicate that we are being thought of every step of the way, especially in their absence. And then after all that… there’s that AMAZING compensation plan that our guy can creatively contrive to seal the deal.

But my point is that most women are more concerned with a thought process and actions reflecting strong consideration of them HABITUALLY, rather than any event in isolation. Good luck to you my friend!

Haha Typical Crystal....I know the obvious way but if I can get a better solution than it would be worth so only I am posting and talking to you guys. All relationship are special and I respect them all also hurting anyone is not in my nature. Managing myself is a better way than telling them directly is what I feel. I know something is wrong with me

True bro..need to keep her also happy

Yes bro, I know the obvious solution but want a better one that is the reason I am posting here right. I am making excuses just to tell you guys some facts which could help to get a different solution. All the ideas given here are good but it doesn`t hurt to find other ideas too right..

I know I am complicating it but just to see if I can get any other way or idea to manage the situation. With great power comes great responsibilities and you guys have lots of thinking power...

Thats true..

That is true, I have a solution in mind but want to see if I can get a better one. Calling her from my parents party..nice one, I can try that too. Actually I had planned her party, booked a nice place and gave my ideas for the decorations. Today I will be heading there to give the finishing touches, had booked tickets and hotel room for her parents to visit tomorrow just to make her evening perfect. Will pick her gift as well as gifts for my cousins today. Ah lot of activities to do today
Anyways I appreciate you for showing me the female side and I also want her to have an AMAZING party with or without me. Atleast she should be able to brag about my decorations & gift to her friends and family.

[
Well Mom`s viewpoint right. You may be right and she may be like that but right now she is a lady and I can`t destroy a possible future just based on some doubts and that is the reason I don`t want her to be introduced to my family right now. All said both the ladies are important to my life and I can`t hurt either of them. Both parties are important and my presence is essential in both places and hence the pickle and sol searching happening here.


Wow did you skip half of what I said? I was talking about a LOT of peoples possible view points on this issue. Your Mom's, your family, sounds like ALL of the significant ones if they are coming great distances, Jenny's, Jenny's family; AND read my lips Grasshopper; Y_O_U_R_S!

If you are lucky this Lady maybe become family at some point and you don't want yours in stress when/if she does.

Clearly you are not ready to go to the family level (Thank God you have at least that much common sense.)

But you should be telling HER that in person rather than on the world wide web. That sounds pretty juvenile and gutless as far as the manning up department goes.

ESPECIALLY if she has any "computer" savvy at all she is reading this (as are her friends; maybe even family now or in the future since once on the web ALWAYS on the Web) and anything else you post on line.

My question is this "How bad do you want to mess up your personal life?" There may be some power to "collective thinking" but at the end of the day the person who LIVES with the results are YOU.

And you want to think about who you are getting advice from? Did they have "Good" relationships, successful lives, anything really in common with you, OR and this is a BIGGY YOUR best interest in the process? If it is just a website conversation that may or may not even be real scenario how serious do you think they care about you?

Just being practical where you are being difficult. Like someone said, you keep coming up with excuses why this won't work and that won't work etc etc. Almost like you don't want a solution.
Yeah but, no but, yeah but, no but isn't going to get you anywhere.
If you can't please them all, you simply do what is most important to you and/or feels best to you.

I know you mean well for me and I appreciate that but do you really think that so many people join this dating site? As per my family, Jenny and her family is concerned no one is on this dating site. People here are well experienced and asking some ideas is not a bad deal plus I think I have enough brain to filter things and take the best. In my view reaching out to people and getting some knowledge makes my life easier. I got such lovely ideas for that in-my-house date (remember) so why not for this situation too. I want to run the show without her knowing but even if she comes to know from somewhere I can manage. I am not cheating or doing any sin that I should regret right

I totally agree with you and I am looking for my best interest too. But I am looking for other options which could be better than mine. As mentioned I have already made arrangements for making Jenny`s party amazing but want to see if I can manage to keep both ladies happy with my presence. I have one day and if I don`t get any better solution then I will talk with one of them but till then I will try..

Takes the revolver .. slams a round into the chamber.. places revolver to his forehead.. I can't believe this topic is still going...bang.

As a mum of a man I have realised my son needs to be his own man. I have taught him right from wrong, how to be independent and the expectations of how to treat a lady. I stay out of his relationship affairs unless he discuss with me. I also have taught him if she don't treat you like a king when you treat her like a queen then she is not the one for you. Move on.
One thimg I have noticed is the girls he goes out with tend to end up passioning another guy. This makes me angry. He dumps them and don't give them a second chance.
Why are girls like this?
Is it an age they are at? 19

I will say anyone who is violent with any of my kids yes I will step in because I did not give birth them for someone to use them as a punching bag.

Yes.

Easy for you dude..you don`t have a sword on your head or revolver