I found that more and more people ask for chat in the first message, for a date in the second, and for sex in the 3rd message (all these in less than 5 minutes). Without ask likes, how you feel or why you are in a date website.
My panties color or if I'm horny is not in discussion when you are looking for a real date :)
If you are looking just sex, you can ask for it, and maybe with luck you can have it. What I'm trying to say is (and need others opinions) be sincere, don't try to go into a lady panties with "I'm looking for my soul mate" if that is not your intention. ;)

I agree with you 100%. sometimes it's difficult to put that in when your just wanting to hookup

I strongly agree with that. My intention is for a relationship not a sexual encounter. Sex itself doesnt make a relationship. It's the intimacy behind the love the people have for each other. If men are looking for sexual encounters they can easily go to pornographic hookup sites to have sex with all the women they want to. They shouldnt go to dating sites for that.

It appears many confuse their soul with their naughty bits.

My opinion is people have a better chance of finding what they seek, be it sex or a soul mate, if they're honest about their intent from the beginning.

It doesn't just happen on dating sites. I had the misfortune of one friend asking me if I wanted to do phone sex with him. I think he's lost his marbles. I tried so hard, to explain to him, that I'm not attracted to him. Also, he came out with lots of gross talk, and it made me wanna puke. I kept rejecting him, then blocked him from my phone, forever.

People should be upfront with what they want.

Exactly, and read for a minute the profile can be good too. Still don't understand guys 23 years old asking "care to chat?". I'm 36 (almost 37) and my profile state that I'm looking for men "far older than me"......What is thinking a guy 23 yo when send that message?
Or the other kind of message "why older men?" ...........well, maybe because they know read my profile before send a message .

WHAT.. wait a minute.!!. You mean I don't have to ask for dates anymore? I can just ask for sex..? Well well this is really going to speed things up..lmao

It's not the same if in less than 5 minutes you are asking me if "I'm horny"?

Omg.. who waits 5 minutes to ask that..lol.. it should be the first thing out of their mouth..lol..jk. ...


Oh !!..and I forgot to ask.. are you horny.?. Dang I'm beginning to slip that was longer than 5 minutes...

I totally agree that people should be honest about their intentions online and in real life, but let's be real. The chatroom is the LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST place a person should expect honesty, morality , depth or even intelligence as THE NORM. For the people who are genuinely seeking a relationship, the advantages of a dating site is that 1) It allows you to meet 1000s of people in a short period of time, which technically increases your chances at finding someone compatible and 2)the weeding process is swifter and more convenient than real life dating which saves you some time, money and energy . The tricky part is that the more people you meet is the more scammers and inappropriate people that you have to weed through and also the more patience and tolerance you have to develop to cope with the disrespect , deviousness and stupidity on a LAAAAARGE scale. But if I meet a handful of super interesting and genuine people out of the 1000s I meet, I think it's worth my while and so far, I have only been meeting quality people at the forum.

My conversation starters usually revolve around something like, "Hi. How are you? So here is a question. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck, could chuck wood?". I am so kinky.

Man I know I have been out here way to long.
I get the chat question..
But I haven't gotten the sex one...

5 Minutes that is fast.. dang...

Yup! You try asking a woman straight out, for sex, and see what you get or where you land up! Been there done that . Not going that route ever..now I buy her flowers, take her out to eat and then ask that question... Yeah! The answer is still NO... damn!!!

It's because without asking for a date, how is the guy supposed to be able to meet, to try and have sex?

Otherwise, it just seems like they might be looking for "rubbing one out" material.

Hmm. Well, since forever, at least for all my life, there's been a fairly well established cultural system, where people follow a simple process:

step one: sense the existence of a sexually desirable person. This is most often done visually, but it can be via sound or other senses as well.

step two: initiate communication with the target. This has the most variation in techniques and strategies, and the reason why it is so very complex, is because the society we all have lived in for our whole lives, frowns on any and all direct talk of pure sexual interest.

At least, for most of us. There are a few people who are permitted, even praised, for seeming to break the rules of etiquette, but even that tends to be within a socially specified system. Very amusing to observe.

Anyway, for MOST of us, if you walk up to someone and honestly and openly state that you want to have sex with them, things will go badly for you. Even if the person in question found you attractive up until that moment, the unwritten rules of decorum include that when one ignores them, it means that they don't respect the other person as an individual.

What this thread describes, is one of the amusing, if pitiful, ways that some people try to deal with this complexity. Very childish, really. They catch on that they aren't supposed to talk about sex straight off, so they don't, but since they have no idea how the subtlety of sociology shapes things, they think "if I lead off with hello I want to get to know you as a person, and THEN move straight to sex, I'll be following the process."

A bit like the mythical "third date rule" for sex. This kind of person hears about the "rule," thinks it's chiseled in stone, and so rushes through the first two dates in a perfunctory manner, in hopes of meeting the person at the door naked, at the beginning of the official "third date."

Lol, trust you!
Don't try it in RL though ... you might end up with a black eye and sore baws

Sarah, you can't blame the guys too much here when you have a hot profile that sends out sexual vibes like that. Guys are visual creatures that can get aroused with a good stiff wind blowing.

From your point of view, I have to have a boring profile and an ugly photo in order to get good responses?