..soooo.. is it best to leave your past in the past.? Or do you need to dig it out.. like removing a photo album from a old steamer trunk .. to take a look at it from time to time.. do you think revisiting your past is healthy..
To know where you come from is to know where you are going...oui..

Or are you the type of person that never dwells on the past..

. Is talking about past relationships good in a new relationship..?
. Or are some things best left in the past...?..

Your past makes you what you are... your decisions, your thoughts, you actions... Sure, dig it up, learn from it.... Even correct some of it if feasible..... Just don't dwell on it too much....



Talking too much about past relationships with the present one.... not a thing you want to do right off.... tell the truth if asked, but let some bonding happen if you can, before the midnight stories in the high wing-backed chairs in front of the fire...

(yes, I'm speaking from experience.... I rambled on... it was a bad idea)

Some past things I think of and talk about; some things I don't and will never talk about again.

I don't mind hearing of your past; just not too much at one time. and not too much too soon.

IMHO, the past is the past...nothing to dwell upon
In business or in personal life I have learned not to cry over spilled milk - move on... Forward ho
Often when one door closes,another door (opportunity)opens..

Only if I have reason to go there, to get something clear so I can learn

As for the rest, nah. Occasionally it comes up with the kids, also part of learning, mostly for them, understanding what happened now that they're both older.

But I myself hardly ever even go through photo albums anymore.
I sometimes wonder about that, as I've been divorced some 16 yrs now, so a long time, and never had any regrets. Had another long term relationship after that.
Yet, seeing those photos is still never really the same anymore. In a strange way it hurts me, not cos of me so much, but mostly cos of the children. Even though they're doing well, and neither can even imagine me still with their dad anymore.

Only to remember the good and learn from the bad.

As an absolute, no, that would be stupid and impossible.


It can be.
It doesn't have to be.
The reason for choosing to revisit can be unhealthy and lead to healthy things.
Or the reason can be healthy and leads to unhealthy things.


To know why you're where you are at any point in time you need to know where you come from.
To know where you are going you just need to make a choice, commit to it, and follow through.

To believe you know where you're going based on knowing where you came from is just fatalism.


Not as an absolute.


Depends on why I'm talking about past relationships.


Of course they are.
I don't think I've ever had long discourse, or meditative sessions contemplating my potty training.
I've left that in the past.

I don't dwell nor forget, I forgive and remember


for instance, if someone I love has been known for stealing and stolen from me,, I still love them and still have them around but I do remember not to leave valuables out

lifes moments are to learn from,, not to forget

Well.....this one time.....at band camp......

sometimes I take a trip down memory lane with my kids
sometimes it is necessary for them to rehash things over out loud
with their mother in order to make sense of what we dealt with..
on a daily basis living with their father

sometimes..it helps to remember where you used to be
how far you have come

do I still have the old photo albums? of course I do.
they are put away in a box in my closet
do I take them out once in awhile? oh sure
but only in small amounts for I do not want to get caught up in what used to be instead of living my life in the now and my hopes for the future

Sure I go back into my past but usually being reflective, or measuring how far I have come, or in some cases how far I still need to go.

Thats true !! The longer we are stuck to closed door, the longer problem becomes...

We are alive, so we change. That person (myself) from just yesterday
is gone.

We are now(thinking)seeing our history with today's mind.

Read history to learn and enjoy. But you are not that same person.

Just: less dumb today

Nah I really don't need to kick the past around. Way I look at it I chose to be with them when I was, and I chose not to be with them when I wasn't, so why harp on it. Being widowed 25+ years you start feeling more single than anything and the "almost ones" don't seem that important. Nobody wants to live with a ghost not even me. Not knocking my ex but I would not want the same guy at this stage in my life. We would probably both be different since I know I am.

And I guess I finally hit the over load point on the pictures and memorabilia because I have been boxing up donation stuff and shredding a lot of stuff Big time. Lately I have seen the people who run where I live dig through people's stuff when they are gone so I don't want my privacy violated and I don't want them scavenge ring over it. Lot easier for me to donate the stuff while I am healthy than when it will be a lot more effort. And really I am tired of cleaning around a lot of it. Know my kids could careless about it. Now when I entertain I usually use disposables or just go out so I don't need a lot of the stuff I once used. Let someone else do all the work. lol

And to be truthful I really don't want to hear all the blah, blah, blah about someone's past that I date. I am a retired social worker I don't need to hear anymore "case studies" or how terrible this or that was. Most people's good old days were pretty boring. lol Most of their dramas not really that unique. And all the pontificating how the past was so wonderful? Give me a break NOW things are a lot easier and a whole lot more FUN. I don't have to worry about getting preggars, paying for it for the next twenty years, nor do I have to wonder what the boss is going to do, or setting a bad example for the kids. I don't care if it makes me fat and so what if it kills me? I have had a good long run. lol

i take repetitive negative patterns from my past and others' pasts very seriously because the probability of those ills being committed again are quite high with that kind of track record. Who wants to set themselves up to become the next victim of someone's repetitive mistakes ?

The past is your journey to date. To pause and reflect upon it is healthy. For myself the past twenty years (married life) is difficult as only divorced about a year. A divorce I didn't want and was too blind to see coming. But in time it will be worth reflecting on. I'm not sure if bring up old romances while dating is a good idea. Perhaps at a high level.

Eyes, front and center

You may forget your past (probably, prudent too) but don't forget those lessons that you learnt. They might prove to be invaluable for your future.