*disclaimer* This is just my opinion on the subject coming from an actual nice guy.

From my experience most guys that are the actual "nice guy" type get passed over for the "bad guy" type because they aren't forward enough to put themselves out there, they psych themselves out of asking the girl out before they even try or they come across as a "friend only" to the girl.

In the past, atleast in my experience, I have been taken for granted or the girl has tried to take advantage of my niceness.

For us "nice guy" types it's hard to overcome our shyness and fear of rejection. Yes I know that asking a girl out you lose nothing because you had nothing to begin with but, in the eyes of a nice guy or shy type they fear the actual moment of rejection or being laughed at for even trying.

Everyone has their own self image, the thought of the type they want versus the type they feel they can get and from that they end up settling for someone they aren't happy with.

To end my point, I want to hear from the ladys with 100% truthfulness.
What are your thoughts on the nice-guy or shy-guy types?
What are some tips for those type of guys to get the type of woman they do actually deserve?

In advance, I want to say thank you to the ones that answer truthfully and to the ones that troll... you will just be ignored.

I married a nice guy.

All I can say is, life is too short to waste on regrets.

:)

i'm sure he feels the same way....

I'm a nice guy

Well bugger me.
If you are a Nice guy, the only way to get laid, is to, shall we say, become a bad guy.
Yes, Yees.

What you might want to do, is get yourself into situations, having a shot at higher-tier Girls - 8�s and 9�s, so often that you get rejected to death.

The Poor sod must keep up his own self worth, which is incredibly hard to do - keep dressing nicely, keep shaving, not lose his job due to depression and Blue ball effect, and fall into the beer bottle, and all these horrible things that destroy a man from within.

Indeed this is a path of war all nice guys need to take.
when they are past the Point of death, when the nice guy stops caring about what the other person says or sees or thinks, when all he does is keep trodding on, minding his own business, stockpiling money and doing well at work,

...that is where he realises that his life is going forward despite the lack of female companionship.
This is a trans formative process, really is, old chap.

That is when he treats women with a bit of attitude - you know, the
"i am doing fine, tell me why i need you in my life?" kind of attitude.

she will immediately go into "gina tingles" mode, realise here is a Man, Yes, Yess a Man, who has all he wants due to his own efforts, and he is surely a good example of a man, he can provide for himself, yess...
'
and that is an attractive man!
Be he handsome or not, he has a thick skin, he has been through rejection, he has been begging for... for... attention, for consideration... for an opportunity...

He had rolled out the carpet for her, he had laid down his jacket in a puddle... he had laid down himself in a Puddle, so she could walk all over him, provided her shoes stayed dry!

he had been a miserable Joke of a man.
but that was the Past.
now he couldn�t give a flying fart any more, because his life is going fine, on track like a swiss clock, powerful as the Tsar Bomb...

And that attracts women like coca Cola attracts bees.

Man must do what a man need to do..
shy or not; nice or bad.

If the man dont even dare to approach me first, he's out! Game over

(No wonder i never find any nice man approaching me! )

some 'nice guys' wear a mask of benevolence. the rest of the world sees that and says he is just the nicest guy.
people watchers like me who pay attention notice when the mask slips a little and see the ugliness and deception that lurks beneath.
as for dating nice guys or bad boys, that's a categorization that needs to be narrowed down.
people date for a lot of reasons, mostly because there is something about a person that catches our interest.
it's up to both to put in the effort from there.

I would rather date a nice guy who is confident and is not to stuck in his past. I admit my past is not to shiny beautiful but that's life and at least its not boring :)

A true nice guy cannot be taken advantage of, he offers first.

This subject has been a part of online forums for 20 years.

Most guys that are the actual "nice guy" DON'T get passed over for the "bad guy" type except by "bad women."

Other than that the only "nice guys" that get passed over for "bad guy" types are those that aren't actually "nice guys."
And women aren't that stupid to fall for it since anymore it's like the nigerian prince scam.
So they have a choice.
Date a "bad guy" with a "nice guy" facade he defends as true but behaves otherwise, or date a "bad guy" that is direct, open, and honest about being a "bad guy;" talks like one, acts like one, and is pretty simple to understand, communicate with, and respond to.

"Nice guys" that aren't "forward enough" aren't "nice guys" they are "shy guys" that are too insecure to put anything forward enough, that's why they adopted the "nice guy" facade, they're too afraid of conflict.

They are passed over because you never know what the hell they are going to do.
Are their insecurities going to push her away? Or force him to run away? And if by some miracle they do neither, and avoid the constant chasing game cycle, how long until the facade comes down, what happens when conflict is actually faced? Is he really violent, or childish, because he's always hidden behind is nice guy facade so never learned how to deal with his emotions?

Not to mention, more often than not, they are the type that are all "shy until you get to know me!" which ultimately translates to "hold my hand, grip it tightly, be my shrink and counselor, and do all the work to drag me out of me, make the entire relationship for the foreseeable future all about me and figuring out who I really am, and when I make the tiniest little effort you better celebrate and appreciate it like I discovered fire."


How could you ever determine if they were being 100% truthful?


Shy guys and nice guys are two different types of people.
Nice guys aren't shy.
They're considerate wanting to add something positive and face negativity, they aren't using niceness to camouflage themselves or as a means to avoid negative consequences.


Realize there is no such thing as deserving a woman. Or man. Or date. Or partner.
Deserve's got nothin' to do with it, as Clint Eastwood succinctly put it.

That is a crying shame, that nice men feel they are being taken advantage of because they are so accommodating. I refuse to date anyone rude, abusive, arrogant and delusional, the ones who feel that they are God's gift to women. I look for the nice personality quality first and foremost. My man needs to be kind, generous and sweet.

It's all about finding that happy medium where you're a little bit of column a and b

It's all about finding that happy medium where you're a little bit of column a and b

At best, "nice guy" is code speak,
for passive aggressive types.

At worst,
Noteable self proclaimed "nice guys" include, Ted Bundy, Gary Ridgway, Jeffery Dahlmer, John Wayne Gayce.

... And, I'm pretty sure, Adolph Hitler, even tried to portray himself as a "nice guy", in his stupid little book.

Truth is, genuine nice people, don't have to shout out how nice they are.
People just know.

Those, who do shout out how nice they are, usually have sinister ulterior motives.

from a lady,,,,I believe the term 'nice' is often substituted for 'shy, or awkward'


nice guys can still be confident, they can still be strong, they can still be charming

nice only means, to me, that they have consideration for others equal to the consideration they would like others to give them

a nice guy loves their family, respects their elders,, has those types of values regarding respect and consideration

and I dont think those guys have much trouble finding girls unless they happen to ALSO be shy or awkward guys,,,

Al I can say is!.. thank God!! for you nice guys...

Thank you msharmony you are absolutely spot on.
You are now welcome into my unknown sanctuary

you know what op?

the truth is that all people get passed up, good, bad, male, female, hot, ugly, it simply doesn't matter. it's more a matter of timing and connection.

if one doesn't have at least one or both of these, things will not work out.

the biggest difference, as far as i can tell, is that anyone that doesn't label themselves as a "good guy" also refrains from getting on a public forum and whining about it!