I'm 19 and have just been looking to make friends with older women, and only more if we both decide we wanted to. I'm not looking necessarily for anything sexual right off the bat, unless again we were both okay with it. One problem is I guess I'm really shy, so I don't approach anybody in person, just try my luck over the internet.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm not the most attractive. I'm not ugly, but I'm not the typical eye candy that might attractive older women :/.

Also, when I say older women I mean 40-50ish range.

so what does your mom and dad think of that?

I wonder if the same reaction happens when the genders are reversed....

What could you possibly have in common with women in the 40-50ish range that you could be "friends" over?


That really has little to do with anything if you're "really" just looking for friends.

I'd say 90% of it is that you're 19.

If you live in the U.S. you can't even legally have a drink.
What's that "meet" email going to be like?
"I'd really like to ask you out for a drink. Do you think you could tell the bartender you're my legal guardian to get in? I'll pay?"
Or
"If I give you 20 bucks can you buy a case of beer for me? I'll let you keep the change and we can go over to the park and get to know each other."



Other than that, I think if I was a 40-50ish old woman and I read "I'm 19 and shy, I don't approach women, looking for 40-50ish women for friends, and maybe sex eventually," I think my first thoughts would be "he wants a sugar mama FWB to be like his mother to chase him down and make him do something."

That's going to be pretty rare.
And the greater specificity in what you want to date or be "friends (and eventual sex) with," the demand is going to far outweigh the supply.

Okay, somebody help me comprehend! Why would a 19 yr old desire contact with a women who is old enough to be MAMA? Why why WHY?

Gold digging maybe?

ummm... grandma...

19...real young.

Curiosity killed the cat...

Don't these women already have a husband and at least 4 other wives?

First of all: it isn't about the money. I have a job, I can sustain myself.

I also don't drink. I've tried it, I hate the stuff. Too expensive and doesn't taste good

Third: I've heard they are not only more passionate and experienced, but you tend to find more that are mature in personality, then you would at my age.

For instance, getting rejected by plenty of girls my age. Rejection isn't bad no, but plenty of it is.

So OP You're basically looking for a cougar/aunty( whatever they called ) to baby you & get your self esteem up?
And you are looking for a suga momma even tho you deny it.

Moral - op wants to lose his virginity to an older woman in a fwb / cougar type of relationship

Well, ... to each their own ...

Good luck with your search. Let us know how that works out.

I can understand your curiosity, and you are right to a certain extent about maturity, and attractiveness but remember that older women have real world problems bills, children, ex husbands who have visitation,problems that you might not be ready to deal with at this point in your life. All young men have had a crush on a older woman before its natural, but my advice to you would to find a girl your own age, find yourself and who you are, and where you want to go and learn about life. Growing pains hurt but they are a part of life.Have fun and best wishes to you.

Dude, a woman over age 40 is going to look at you and say, "Aren't you precious."

From what you have said, I would have thought you would do better on a dating site looking for a woman of any age, so keeping all your options open.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

Very well explained!

I am sorry but I do not think the attraction of a 19 year old to a woman 40 to 50 is natural or normal.

It is totally inappropriate even if it is legal.

To me it is the misplaced and confused immature adolescent hyper sexuality being attracted to the maternal affection and protection not any real sexual attraction to the mature woman.

If the same adolescent was to secure affection and acceptance or comfort from a tree stump he would be attracted to that also.

Clearly it is the responsibility of the adult in the situation to extract herself from this situation. Just as it would for any male to extract himself from a female with raging hormones that has a screwed up Daddy attraction.

I find it sad that peer age appropriate females, or even younger, have to deal with this hyper sexuality and demand for comfort also but their availability would only temporarily remedy the problem since it is just hormone overload with no appropriate ways to "burn it off ' such as work or play or if necessary appropriate chemical intervention. NOT booze or drugs that have the opposite effect but are often readily available as is pornography or hyper explicit media.

I believe many things contribute to this hyper sexuality but the readily accessible internet female of any age is just and easy target; not really a choice.

But even limited success means they will repeat whatever limited success they can get.

I particularly find it offensive when a few seem to promote this as normal because it only contributes to the harassment of all women for the satisfaction of a few that are either desperate or messed up themselves to be involved with what is basically an over grown but immature "child".

Much the same way many women are subject to harassment by a few men who find their vulgar or aggressive or even violent expressions of sexuality that pass with paid prostitutes acceptable to try towards all women.

It is hardly difficult for the disconnected adolescent fantasy to fixate on any target that is remotely female but in a visual medium like the internet it is hardly a surprise that a photo completely over rides whatever a profile says.

So the only option is to delete and block such attention until the hormonal response matures.

My guess is the OP is just stuck on stupid because some female somewhere fed into and inappropriate relationship and he repeating the only alternative he has had any activity with. Direct or imagined. My guess is some cheap porn freebie he has obsessed on just like a toddler will obsess on a favorite blanket or pacifier. My guess he sucks his thumb when other alternative comforts are un available.

Close.....what I read is he wants sexual experience, at 19 he's going to be curious. I doubt he is at all shy. The sugar Mama part....probably not, but possible. I can promise that his mom and dad know nothing about his post (ubless they are on here lol)