From what I've gathered on date sites, I often hear that laughter is king, or is the key to winning ones heart. But if everyone I consider a friend laughed their way to happiness, it never worked for me. In adopting a permanent, jocular attitude, it can unwittingly mask the true character, the deeper connection (effort) of establishing a meaningful relationship that only time can reveal. Lover or not, I am more appreciative and receptive to a warm, sensitive relationship, a sincere thought, or a solemn, heart-rending episode...especially to new prospects without the years of trust and friendship to fall back on. Like Orson Welles advised: "Drink no wine before its time"

True friendship is not conditional on the ability, attitude, talent, individual arsenal, or habit to tickle a funny bone on a whim. I may be plain, but I'm not that shallow, and I don't expect others to be what they're not or to drown them out in laughter. To those who have not seen much happiness in life, the medicine of laughter is a welcome friend (God knows I need it). And if most people were truly happy, I would laugh along with them.

But from what I've seen and observed, each person does what she or he must to feel necessary or to belong or to hide the hurt; and to many, skipping the middle parts is less dramatic. To those hot on humor, the nosedives, the magical detours, the explaining can come later.

? Too much information for me.

Well I do agree that some laughter would probably sound a bit less dour.

I am just the opposite from your description. I do not willingly or in comfort share more serious feelings and thoughts easily with those I do not know well. A shared or similar sense of humor is a nice way to bond initially. Anything else is ab bit too intense for me. :)

Welcome to Mingle.

shared sense of humor should not be under rated

Thank-you, ma'am for your welcome mat. I got your reply and the lame one before you which simply stated: "Too much information for me". Well, welcome to la-la land! You on the other hand have some gray matter left to share which I truly appreciate. Thank you again for existing!...Guy

so funny what a coincidence I was just reading about brain atrophy

you are welcome. enjoy the forums. there are days when I also don;t read the longer posts and just want to be silly too. there are a lot of nice folk here in all stages of brain health lol

In my opinion you don't build a relationship on humor. You build it on many other characteristics that you find appealing about your mate. Some find a sense of humor as one appealing trait.. just one.

To be used in conjunction of when to be serious, loving, caring and all the other emotions needed to forge a true relationship.

A sense of humor is not to make people laugh it is how that particular person looks at things "at times". Having a sense of humor also comes in handy in many other areas of life, such as work issues, family issues or just some of life's pressures. Some find it a healthy release.

Personally, I like a sense of humor in a person. I find people who are constantly serious to be a drain on the brain.. and frankly boring.

JMO

To sweetestgirl11:

Also, I understood when you said you don't share your more intimate feelings with those you barely know. Actually I was referring to a relationship not in stasis (which is in reality a relationship that's going nowhere) but one in progress of forming with all its uncertainties, pitfalls, and anticipations tacked on.

With that said, if two people are motivated enough, the next obvious step is to start with an earnest, sincere two-way dialogue; to gradually get inside each others' heads (yes, more serious stuff) in earning some mutual trust, understanding and good listening (or not)...in short, 'Psychology II'. Yes, exhibiting humor is a comfortable overture, but any further extensions of interest and bonding are the natural building blocks which indicate that something is afoot, don't you agree?

Despite ourselves, I'm only sharing this info with you to benefit others who are "making a sincere effort to find someone". Also, it's my brief guest appearance to escape from my usual redundant chores. Hey, it feels a little risky and dangerous being a punching bag for a change from those critiquing my thoughts as opposed to typing words without an audience...ha! Aloha!

I'm just not seeing any humour in this thread.

I agree, JMO, with your assessment that serious people are depressing, and in fact, I've given some tough love talks to habitually negative people myself. Been there, done that. But the date lines are full of users. In that light, I will cite some wise quotes (nothing personal) that cater to their needs and speak of us more austere 'serious' types:

"Who is like the wise man? And who knows the interpretation of a thing? A man'��s wisdom makes his face shine, and the HARDNESS of his countenance is changed" -� Ecclesiastes 8:1

On behalf of all the innocent who are victimized everyday:
"It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to heart. Sorrow is better than LAUGHTER, for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better and gains gladness. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of MIRTH and sensual joy�. For like the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the LAUGHTER of the fool. This also is vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility)"! - Ecclesiastes 7:2-4, 6

I like a good laugh like everyone else (hey, I'm from planet earth)! But like I said earlier, if there was joy in the world, I would share in their joy. These days I prefer the joy and company of helping people who are in distress and NOT the company of habitual pleasure-seekers. To each his own, yes?

P.S. I hope Christians aren't excluded on this site.

If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

To FunkyF:
It appears one just fell off

To Blondey111:
NOT BAD!!!

You mean a squirrel or a nut.
If it was a squirrel I do hope it's ok
I often take my dog to the woods near me where there is a red squirrel population. I've never seen one fall yet but I've noticed quite a few nut cases there. I often wonder if they are on mingle2.

Humour will always be one of the best ice breakers and a smart, witty comment will more than likely engage the object of your desire....beats hi!!!!....

And in a relationship plenty of laughter is essential, it makes us feel good.....I know we have had many phone or skype calls where we both have had tears running from so much laughing...

.....Op many people that post here...and I am guilty of it as well will often lead with a banal, dry one liner.....and often not even meant to humourous....be prepared for many more...

Anyway welcome and good luck here....

light humor is always better than all the arguing that can happen here sometimes...

To sweetestgirl11:

Well, I will make my exodus before the flak buries me in attending to responses (amoral or not). So many colorful and intelligent people in replying to my humble thread. I am a Christian who doesn't set foot in any church. My conscience is my church, and our God "is all things to all men". With that said, no one can really say that God contradicts Himself because everything taken out of context is what man fails to exonerate their neighbors over.

But wise men and women who think big (use common sense) to liberate others caught up in a web of controversy and misunderstanding know the universal trinity of fairness, broad-mindedness, and simplicity by heart. Amidst disorder, they alone keep the world sane (fools just waste air). I think this forum is for freethinkers (a few anyway) which I was happy to be part of, if only for a moment (and which I just discovered, lo and behold)! Thanx for the refreshing experience (friend and unfriendly). Yours, Guy (returning to drudgery work). No Mas, Adios!

of course to each his own, that is what its all about. personal choice, there is no right or wrong.

I find that you can still help people in distress and have a sense of humor at the same time. I have diffused many a situation or comforted people with a smile and my sense of humor as opposed to words of wisdom (at that particular time).Each person has their own ways and means and style) to help others

To Pansytilly:

Hard knocks tussling (like rumble fish) makes you tough (builds character). You may need it to stand up for your rights or the rights of others' someday.

"The [uncompromisingly] righteous are bold as a lion" - Proverbs 28:1

To RockGnome:

No humor? Well, your face makes up for it!