I know some of you may consider this response a kiss off. But in my case, I do have a lot to offer and I seem to intimidate men. I liked a couple of men in the past and I know that they were also into me. But after a while, I got this response from them: "you deserve better than me." Yes, in my heart, I know that they have a point. But a woman doesn't always love someone whom she deserves. She loves the qualities in a man which make her fall in love with him: sweetness, kindness, humility, confidence, intelligence, wit, funny, caring, sensual.

When a quality woman gets the above response from a man, is it a kiss off or is he really intimidated? What does he mean? It keeps happening to me. :-(

Well I have to be honest I have used this line a time or two..

One scenario... I did like the guy and the farther I got into it the more I realized that I wasn't going to be what he really wanted deep down. I knew it and he did also.. So when I told him that I meant.. I am not willing to become what you want and need; everyone deserves to have what they want in life to a point. So time to let them go to hopefully find what they want in life..


Two scenario... I was dating someone and after the second date I was so over his wants and needs that I figured it was the nicest way to let him down easy. Less drama.

In both scenarios bottom line different people that wanted different things out of life. I didn't meet their needs and they sure as hell didn't meet mine.

Remember the thread"break up lines?Yeah,I'd say possibly that!!

Kiss off...
By saying that, they don't offend you, so the least chance of drama from you. Men usually hate drama.
Other men may feel intimidated by you, then again the above goes.

It means, It's not you, it's not me. I guess we dont fit so perfectly.

It means, they're afraid you will get hurt easily.

I think you hit the nail on the head, Ms. LRN.

Guys are wired, maybe genetically, I don't know, to respond to intimidation in some fashion. Some of us may fold, but the far more common response is retaliation.

At first, it can be a challenge. I think you're pretty good at that. You present a package that's, at once, appealing and intimidating.

If he gets past that and y'all hook up, he's thrilled.

If (when?) it continues though, it changes, mutates, becomes a threat. The nice guys say, 'You deserve better.' What's in my head in that situation is, 'She's a doll, but I'll be **** if I'm going to have to constantly slay dragons to keep her. There are more pretty fish in the sea and some of'em got fewer teeth.' The reward must at least equal the effort, y'know?

Guys are nutz and we send mixed signals. Challenges are thrilling, continued challenge equals a threat. If you've got him, decide what you're willing to do to keep him.

Aye, it's a cop out from them Iam, cos the attitude that I have is that I'm good enough for anyone, cos I'm a good person all round and deserve the best! That's how I married my missus, cos I met the best for me and never married any lassie I went with before her! Don't settle for 2nd best, but I know you know that already?

Ditto........ pretty much summed it up and yes I have said something similar to those in the past to end the relationship...

Yeah... and with that you're back to masculine & feminine energies and behaviour again..

"Some of em gat fewer teeth"!

And isn't that the nature of Nature, Crystal? I don't know how to circumvent that, to get past or around it. Is it even possible?

It means you are high maintenance :-)

or you have really high expectations and he feels like he cannot live up to them?

It means they're afraid of drama.

It is a "nice" way of saying he has met someone else or even more so, he just wants to bow out of the relationship. No one ever REALLY thinks someone is too good for them. That's why you see pot bellied, middle aged, men chasing twenty something girls. I don't know you at all, and I'm not trying to be mean in any way, but if it keeps happening to you, that makes you the common denominator...sooooooo, what are you doing to these men? Are you making them well aware of just how high a caliber woman you are and how they are lucky to have you? It is entirely possible that HE thinks he deserves better or has had his fill of being criticized. A quality woman that constantly reminds a feller how fortunate he is that she has anything to do with him gets a little tiring. Kinda like a salad versus french fries. The salad is persistently touted as better for you but the fries make you feel full and happy. And who doesn't wanna be happy? I am sure you are a catch, I'm sure you are a "quality" woman, just be aware that others want to be looked up to, not looked down upon. I do take exception to the line that read, "a woman doesn't always love someone whom she deserves". If one is loving and being loved - what more does one deserve?

It could be he thinks you're too good for him. He may not feel like he will be able to make you happy or please you enough. He may think you will be difficult for him to handle.

and he doesn't want to change to make you happy.

exactly

But in all honesty why should he change anymore than she should?