With the release of Fifty Shades of Grey, people saw a side of that lifestyle which included actual love between the parties involved,,,I think the dynamics of such a relationship,, where one gives so completely to another that can be trusted with that vulnerability, can end up being as diverse as the individuals involved


I thought of this lifestyle when I was younger but was concerned how it might affect children (we never hear the sub and dom are parents)

I have always been drawn to a stronger/in control type male, if only I could have found one who was capable of loving someone beyond themselves and who could be trusted to 'rule' only out of a place of true love and adornment,,, I would have gladly submitted,,, however

back on point



who has had this experience, this relationship
or who has been interested in having one?


and is there anyone successfully in that lifestyle even though they are parents,,?

lol,,,,thanks for the support nophd

I am naturally dominant or a leader (or a loner ).

Outside the bedroom, I would not be a good sub.

Last conversation I had with a woman online,
who claimed to be a "sub"...

I asked her to put in her own words,
her definition of the word submissive.
As well, I asked her to define her role as
a submissive.

She could do neither.

I considered her, too dumb for me to " Dom" .

last conversation I had with someone claiming to be a dom was asking what that meant

his response, that the woman cooks and cleans and does what he wants when he wants


I knew that he was too self absorbed and selfish for me to ever 'sub' to

SNAP!

husband came from a very traditional conservative background
very strong ideas of defined gender roles
He worked full time and provided
he was head of household
he controlled finances
I was stay at home mother and housewife
he would listen to my opinion but
when a tough decision had to be made
he had last word on it

now in our day to day life I allowed him to maintain this role
in front of family he was seen as strong and capable
behind doors that was another thing altogether
I ruled in the bedroom

but I truly believe that this is about give and take
mutual satisfaction for both parties involved

did I read the book? nope
to me handcuffs mean ya better be in back of cop car
rope is for towing the truck out of the ditch
blindfolds are for pin the tail on donkey
I am more of a lights on so I can see kind of girl

Another interesting discussion.

Haven't given a great deal of thought to D/s but I have wondered where, precisely, the strength in that sort of relationship lies.

It would typically be expected to fall on the Dominant side of the equation. 'Tops' dominate 'bottoms' and that's that.-

What about the sub side, though? I would suspect that it takes a great deal of courage and strength. There would seem to be very deep wells of self-confidence and -esteem involved in a loving and caring sort of D/s coupling.

Yes, misogynist/misandrist and maybe even worse - sociopathic (only what I want matters) or misanthropic (I hate humans, in general)- practitioners become involved. Those with low or no self-esteem may bottom because that satisfies their view of their own worth. There can certainly be pathological reasons.

But for those who seek and find a healthy satisfaction in their choice, who really wields the power?

The submissive must consent and allow the interaction. Without bottoms, there would be no tops.

it is shared responsibility, for me scribbles


there are safe words so that does give the sub control based on her or his boundaries


there is mutual respect if the dom is respectful of the boundaries and the sub is respectful of the dom,,,, I think it is an extension of the parent./child relationship, as odd as that sounds

our parents, if they love us, never will mistreat us, always will love and protect and care for us,, and in return out of love and appreciate we respect, trust , and obey them as completely as we can

its a mutual love,, with different types of respect and control, but with ultimate responsibility lying on the dom to cherish, protect, support and love his or her sub

at least from my studies on the lifestyle, that is what I find most appealing of all the potential variations

don't worry about it.
you just do as you're told, and LIKE IT!!!

Do it with a smile!

and that goes for you too, missy!

Yes.. to be submissive you have to have.. great self esteem... you have to be confident in who you are...

. to be able to let somebody have control over you.... yeah some do it..
.. because they crave the need to have someone control them..
.. they are lost in themselves....


.... but to be a healthy.. and deserving of a DOM...mmmm...... twist my wrist..
.. let me please you please....mmm..
.... let me give you everything...ohhh..
.. I want nothing but your happiness...mmm..

.... in this I gain strength.... in this I control my top.... my top needs to know... I am for them.. they are for me...mmmm..... now please on bended knees... push me down way way down...mmmm..ohhhh.. biting bottom lip hard now...mmmmm

.

.
.

interesting interpretation nophd,,,,,are you an author of erotica by chance?

^ Do you want to take him or should I, Dub?

that's the great thing about being submissive.. I get to pick my top..lol

....ohhh... I would study very hard !..if that's what you would want me to be... I would do anything you asked me to do..... as long as you are happy.... I am happy..... does this make you happy.. do I make you happy .mmmm..

Just so I understand, you note 'safe words' and 'boundaries.' Are you widening the D/s relationship to include S/M interactions, as well? Is there a separation? Does D/s exist without the sexual aspects of S & M?

Ideally, its a relationship built on trust and respect.
As with any relationship, it should be a partnership
based on equality. 'Cept, during role play time.

I use the term 'role play', because not many desire,
or could handle, the 24/7 lifestyle.

Unfortunately, the interwebz has created too many
experts in an area they have no real experience in.