The only thing that comes up is that when in Denmark during summer, we were playing Danish music (record players and LPs at the time) and singing along as best as we could, enjoying it, even though we didn't understand a word of it. Then a Danish acquaintance picked us up, heard the music and laughed cos we were playing and singing Danish Christmas songs.

I won't name the country but when I'm there, people always ask me where I'm from, finally I learned the best thing to say is I'm from their country. They look puzzled and it's funny and I get to keep my pleasant mood.

Turning around and saying, "Why the f**k did I even come here in the first place??" No matter what country that doesn't speak English, that I've been to I always make mistakes, whether it be with the language, or the customs and the locals tell you lies about what things mean, or represent, just to trip you up also. B*****d's!!!! ha ha

When a Dutch friend came to Kuala Lumpur for a work stint from Singapore where he had been working, he was traveling with a Canadian. He asked if his friend could spend a night or two at our place. I settled them into a room, told them where the bathroom were, asked them to make themselves comfortable and be ready for dinner.

They took turns to take their shower..... the Canadian took his bath first, then my Dutch friend went in. He came out and apologized profusely...... the friend had immersed himself in the bathroom water reservoir, similar to the one in this pic and there were soap suds all over. I don't know how he got around to explaining to his friend....hehehe!


[This is not an over-sized bath! It's basically a reservoir to be used by everyone in the household, so it's not for bathing in directly!]

I had neighbors, 1st generation from Greece.
A young Greek girl knocked in my door, & said her mother was upset & wanted to see me. This woman was paceing in her kitchen. Apparently she never had a modern refrigerator, & did not know what should & should not go in it, since she could not read it. After the refrigerator, I then checked all the cabinets. She was so happy that I explained to her daughter, who translated, that she made me pancakes & gave me a giant honey cone. I then had to explain 'maple syrup ', which she thought was hysterical. . We all agreed on fruit preserves. And I became, the 'kitchen American '

The only place I've ever seen those was in El Salvador.

Thank goodness it wasnt hot water otherwise you would have been a suspect.Hahaha

It is a water reservoir....sort of like a tank in the bathroom! Not for hot water...Uche! You are supposed to scoop the water using the green plastic scoop in the pic. He was more likely to have drowned then get scalded as he could have fallen when attempting to climb in.
He must have been wondering how we could ever get comfortable in a square 'bath tub' and in ice cold water to boot

OK....another story! I was staying with my mother-in-law then, and this same guy was staying over again due to his work stint. My MIL who doesn't speak English grumbles and complains to me..... "can you make sure he is dressed up"???

LOL..... I go into the sitting room and he is sitting on the sofa in his briefs!!! So, I told him point blank....'hey, can you put something on?'...... he looks down and points 'I already have something on'!
Apparently, he is used to running around naked in his house..... I had to ask him to at least put on his shorts or short pants and a shirt.

probably the most memorable was going to Montreal (french canada) without changing my money first and speaking English instead of at least trying a few words of french. The frenchies there don;t like that

In Germany When you recieve ketchup packets they are aready opened. Do you know what happens when you don't know that? You grab the corner of the packet and shake the ketchup to the bottom of the packet,but instead you empty it all over the patrons in the restuarant

Being friendly and looking happy, in some countries this means the woman is available.

.

Available for?

Available for sex to be blunt.

It once took me fifteen minutes to order a taco meal in Goettingen, Germany. Does that count?
The lady behind the counter didn't speak any English, either, just German and I think Italian. It helps if there's a translator or mediator, but otherwise you just have to hope that they're reeeeeeeeally patient people.

that will learn you to pay attention!

I had the pleasure of training with some British troops in Germany. One night at a club this british soldier asked me if I wanted to go out back and share a fag. I thought WTF. and I said sorry I dont get into that, and he goes on to tell me that he saw me with a fag yesterday. Now my brain is working overtime trying to figure out who I was with the night before. Finally one of my friends told me he ment cigarettes!