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Topic: Would you date an ex addict or ex alcoholic?
Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 04/01/15 01:41 PM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober?

2469nascar Joined Fri 11/22/13 Posts: 5231	Wed 04/01/15 01:43 PM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? hmmmm IDK at least a year,,

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45397	Wed 04/01/15 01:44 PM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? As that is so much better than a current druggie/alcoholic, I am unsure of the question? Seems to me a former anything is better than a current one.

IamwhoIam1 Joined Sun 01/01/12 Posts: 6400	Wed 04/01/15 01:46 PM
Yes but they would have to stay clean. He should be sober maybe 6 months or more. One time, I would have said never! Now, as I get older, I am running out of good selections. I don't have the luxury of being choosy as much as did when I was younger, although I'm still selective.

panchovanilla Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 5396	Wed 04/01/15 01:52 PM
There's no such thing as an EX alcoholic or addict. I'm an alcoholic, and will be for life. I quit drinking when I was 26. Not drinking, is an everyday choice.

Conrad_73 Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 22488	Wed 04/01/15 01:53 PM
There's no such thing as an EX alcoholic or addict. I'm an alcoholic, and will be for life. I quit drinking when I was 26. Not drinking, is an everyday choice.

panchovanilla Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 5396	Wed 04/01/15 01:56 PM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? hmmmm IDK at least a year,, Yes. Definitely not sooner. Takes at least a year to get the head half squared away.

Pinkbunny43 Joined Sun 05/12/13 Posts: 26547	Wed 04/01/15 01:58 PM
There's no such thing as an EX alcoholic or addict. I'm an alcoholic, and will be for life. I quit drinking when I was 26. Not drinking, is an everyday choice. Congrats

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 04/01/15 01:59 PM
There's no such thing as an EX alcoholic or addict. I'm an alcoholic, and will be for life. I quit drinking when I was 26. Not drinking, is an everyday choice. Thank you for sharing that. This post is not meant to offend anyone. I really am curious.

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Wed 04/01/15 02:00 PM
Yes, and I wouldn't set them any rules either like a certain amount of time to be clean, its supposed to be a relationship not a time trial.

panchovanilla Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 5396	Wed 04/01/15 02:01 PM
There's no such thing as an EX alcoholic or addict. I'm an alcoholic, and will be for life. I quit drinking when I was 26. Not drinking, is an everyday choice. Congrats Thanks...but not necessary. I just feel very fortunate.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 04/01/15 02:03 PM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? As that is so much better than a current druggie/alcoholic, I am unsure of the question? Seems to me a former anything is better than a current one. The question is in the title.

panchovanilla Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 5396	Wed 04/01/15 02:04 PM
No offense taken, Ladywind. I can absolutely understand your question. It's a very good question.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 04/01/15 02:07 PM
Yes, and I wouldn't set them any rules either like a certain amount of time to be clean, its supposed to be a relationship not a time trial. The question is how long would you want them to be clean/sober BEFORE you consider dating them?

panchovanilla Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 5396	Wed 04/01/15 02:07 PM
Yes, and I wouldn't set them any rules either like a certain amount of time to be clean, its supposed to be a relationship not a time trial. Setting rules would be pointless. Your rules will have no effect on what they do. It's totally up to them. And all you could do is hold on tight for the bumpy ride.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Wed 04/01/15 02:08 PM
no to ex drug addict. no to ex alcoholic.. .. I would not want to be around when they backslide.. or have my boys exposed to it.... ... I mean no offense to anyone with a addiction we all have an addiction.. .

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Wed 04/01/15 02:15 PM
If this thread has pushed any buttons for anyone, please accept my apologies. My intent is not to judge, condemn or trigger. I honestly want to hear others opinions. Please do not message me about this thread. I realise this is a hard topic.....

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Wed 04/01/15 02:16 PM
Yes, and I wouldn't set them any rules either like a certain amount of time to be clean, its supposed to be a relationship not a time trial. The question is how long would you want them to be clean/sober BEFORE you consider dating them? Honestly I wouldn't set a length of time, I mean if I met a girl and she told me that she got out of rehab yesterday it wouldn't bother me. Some people just need a chance. Saying that though, if she slipped up again it would be over. Once bitten twice shy

TxsGal3333 Joined Tue 09/05/06 Posts: 76436	Wed 04/01/15 02:26 PM
Everyone makes mistakes in their lives. I have friends recently that quit drinking but are still around all those that do without a problem... It is the past let the sleeping dog be if they are clean. People can change and do... I'm a ex smoker so does that mean I will back slide and start again??? Guess that depends on me but I don't see it happening.. Went from 3 packs a day to cold turkey.. It all depends on the reason one quit a habit and the will power they have... For me it has been 12 years and have never thought of picking it back up... The way some are looking at it if they are looking for a non smoker guess they would have to pass me up.. Even if I don't smoke now.. But honestly if they were into hard drugs then yes they would have to be clean. Hard to give a time limit, but would prefer at least a month or more..

Rock Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 21258	Wed 04/01/15 03:04 PM
If so, how long would you have wanted them to be clean or sober? The longer clean, the better. However, a few months may be enough time. If they're deadset serious about cleaning up their life.