Community > Coffee Houses, Bars & Chit Chat

Topic: Would you date an ex addict or ex alcoholic?
Conrad_73 Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 22488	Thu 04/02/15 01:20 AM Edited by Conrad_73 on Thu 04/02/15 01:23 AM
There's no such thing. Once an addict, always an addict. wow i know a gal did pain meds for years, from her doc, shes been sober for 21 years, she went thru alot to detox, help her thru it, she came out strong,as ever,,so there your wrong, not always the case,, If she were Fool enough to try again,she'd be whistling down the Storm again!

2469nascar Joined Fri 11/22/13 Posts: 5231	Thu 04/02/15 01:30 AM
There's no such thing. Once an addict, always an addict. wow i know a gal did pain meds for years, from her doc, shes been sober for 21 years, she went thru alot to detox, help her thru it, she came out strong,as ever,,so there your wrong, not always the case,, If she were Fool enough to try again,she'd be whistling down the Storm again!

SparklingCrystal 💖💎 Joined Mon 05/20/13 Posts: 33339	Thu 04/02/15 03:22 AM
If I was to date an ex addict, I'd want him to be clean for at least 5 years. A few months or a year mean nothing. An attitude like Pancho's would be very appreciated. Open, honest, no-nonsense. Kudos!

realcarebear Joined Sat 12/07/13 Posts: 6876	Thu 04/02/15 03:40 AM
Where as I don't like to punish people for their past mistakes I don't believe I could date an ex addict. Friends yes but after living with an addict and living that life of abuse I don't think I mentally could risk it. I'm afraid I would be paranoid of a backslide and would make us both miserable.

cnwemeet24 Joined Sat 11/15/14 Posts: 5	Thu 04/02/15 04:03 AM
Hey sweetheart your pretty damn hot. Don't ever settle. Just because your getting older means you should settle. But you should judge a man by his actions........and nice his....smile

SassyEuro Joined Wed 03/11/15 Posts: 1000	Thu 04/02/15 05:13 AM
Short answer.... hell no! I work in substance abuse. I know a lot of great people in recovery, but it is highly unlikely I would get in a relationship with someone. Even if they have significant sobriety those behaviors take even more time to change. This It would have to be 7+ years & an complete overall. Words are not enough.

abieegail Joined Sun 02/08/15 Posts: 4	Thu 04/02/15 05:26 AM
I met and was in a relationship with an alcoholic they cant love u only the drink he stole hit beat me up for over three years no they dont change

luvmeforlife Joined Wed 11/06/13 Posts: 700	Thu 04/02/15 05:54 AM
At least a few years. Been through it with someone I knew was previously a user...well turns out he still was. Rough on the whole relationship as there was mood swings, drama, and other stuff. I can honestly say I tried though.

smartwithsparks Joined Sat 06/14/14 Posts: 2439	Thu 04/02/15 06:12 AM
no,,i would not

bashajones Joined Fri 08/08/14 Posts: 7943	Thu 04/02/15 06:50 AM
There's no such thing. Once an addict, always an addict. wow i know a gal did pain meds for years, from her doc, shes been sober for 21 years, she went thru alot to detox, help her thru it, she came out strong,as ever,,so there your wrong, not always the case,, That gal may be sober. But, she is still an addict.

SassyEuro Joined Wed 03/11/15 Posts: 1000	Thu 04/02/15 06:56 AM
Doesn't matter.. I guess. Because the OP has deactivated !?

2KidsMom Joined Tue 09/30/08 Posts: 58206	Thu 04/02/15 08:34 AM Edited by 2KidsMom on Thu 04/02/15 08:34 AM
Yes, I would,in both cases. Everybody deserves a second chance. #A mistake made twice,becomes a choice.

DavidCommaGeek Joined Thu 01/08/15 Posts: 537	Thu 04/02/15 08:58 AM
I could probably date an ex-alcoholic. I can make damn sure they don't drink when they're with me. (Mostly because I don't do alcohol, myself.) I don't think I'd be willing to date an ex-drug-addict. There are too many things that can go wrong later in life from abusing drugs, and that **** can stay in your system for a lot longer than alcohol. Alcohol wasn't designed to be addictive (well, not originally), but a lot of harmful drugs are. I wouldn't feel bad about dropping an addict who took up their drug of choice again, and I think if you're in a romantic relationship like that, you should feel at least a little bad at the thought of ending things.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Thu 04/02/15 09:02 AM
leans up against the wall.. . sparks up a spliff... ... I don't know about the rest of you. but I could sure use a drink right now. ..jk..

funnygirl03 Joined Mon 03/30/15 Posts: 10	Thu 04/02/15 10:01 AM
Yes, and I wouldn't set them any rules either like a certain amount of time to be clean, its supposed to be a relationship not a time trial. Setting rules would be pointless. Your rules will have no effect on what they do. It's totally up to them. And all you could do is hold on tight for the bumpy ride. Oh that is so true. My husband is an addict. We went to marriage consuling and he was too messed up to go. So now we are separated. I cant deal with the pain anymore and the lies.

SitkaRains Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 17228	Thu 04/02/15 10:25 AM
I could probably date an ex-alcoholic. I can make damn sure they don't drink when they're with me. (Mostly because I don't do alcohol, myself.) I don't think I'd be willing to date an ex-drug-addict. There are too many things that can go wrong later in life from abusing drugs, and that **** can stay in your system for a lot longer than alcohol. Alcohol wasn't designed to be addictive (well, not originally), but a lot of harmful drugs are. I wouldn't feel bad about dropping an addict who took up their drug of choice again, and I think if you're in a romantic relationship like that, you should feel at least a little bad at the thought of ending things. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic, the same as an addict. With both is depends how long sober and how much they want to stay that way. You are correct that drugs can corrupt the body more than the booze, yet they both corrupt the body, mind and soul. Why feel guilty over ending a relationship of any kind if they weren't honest up front and hid it. I come right out what I did in my 20' doesn't reflect on my health today because I made that choice to stay clean.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Thu 04/02/15 03:10 PM
Doesn't matter.. I guess. Because the OP has deactivated !? Hey you. I deactivate after each "Mingle session". I dont want much mail. Unless I am online, you can not message me. I prefer it this way as I am here for the forums and not the dating. It is difficult for my forum friends, but each to their own.

SassyEuro Joined Wed 03/11/15 Posts: 1000	Thu 04/02/15 03:19 PM
Doesn't matter.. I guess. Because the OP has deactivated !? Hey you. I deactivate after each "Mingle session". I dont want much mail. Unless I am online, you can not message me. I prefer it this way as I am here for the forums and not the dating. It is difficult for my forum friends, but each to their own. Relief.. Because I would miss you.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Thu 04/02/15 03:27 PM
And I you.

zzzippy56 Joined Sun 01/12/14 Posts: 7307	Thu 04/02/15 03:41 PM
There's no such thing as an EX alcoholic or addict. I'm an alcoholic, and will be for life. I quit drinking when I was 26. Not drinking, is an everyday choice. Unlike those that drink only. 6 20oz beers EVERY day and say they dont have a problem.... These people knew they had a problem and found help..... Good going...