One of the things I see in a lot of women is that they are looking for someone else to take charge of their happiness.

What that means is that in the end, if they leave, they leave with your happiness. In a way, it means they control you, because of the fear of losing them.

Find the things that make *you* happy. take control back. Your self esteem will rise when its not hinged upon guys that actively bash down your self esteem. Then when you find the next man, its not happiness, its for companionship, friendship, and, if everything goes right, love as well.

I wish you well, and hope you find happiness where it matters.... inside you.
senrik

Understandable. I think that being aware of this as a concern and acknowledging that this is something you don't want indicates something really healthy though - you still care.

Time and reflection are fun but I suggest focusing your attention on new and interesting things.

Cheers, kiddo.

I don't think so, love is a battlefield.

Hit me with your best shot?

I see many men do this as well. Luckily I am quite independent and have always had my own life outside of my relationships so this is not an issue for me. My thing is that I always want to try to work through the issues instead of just walking away when it's not working. I see this as a virtue but it's kicked me in the butt more than a few times.

This is awkward, I don't remember Mykas booty but I remember her pimped out tricycle? Welcome back!

Its always better to try and work it out. Of course its not always going to succeed... but when it does.... :)

Keep the faith.

I know what you mean.
We always feel like we can hold on indefinitely, after all
that is a good thing, right?
Sticktoitiveness.

I do not think that is a bad thing, even if we hang on too long.
It shows us that we are willing to try, long past the time for it.

In the end, it is good to have done that as, forever after you can
tell yourself, 'I tried everything' before you walked away.

That there are no women out there who REALLY want a commitment instead of a private ATM.

You are beautiful inside and out! I am sorry your heart has been hurt.

I know it does help, but learn and grow. So that when the right person comes along you'll be ready.

soufie i can't believe you found that. hahahaha

and you msmyka, nice to see you pop in.

Don't give up there are plenty of us around.....

It is hard OP ... but you have to try and when that special person comes along and you both seem & feel the connection... and do not settle ... sounds like a b*tch but your not ... you just don't want to get hurt again and after some have said look for another type of guy... that is not like the one before ... and if you don't try you may never know ...

as long as it keeps beating..I think you'll be ok..

Same thing here!

I just met someone who is claiming to have similar thoughts. Her profile changed from seeking marriage to activity partner. I am sharing my words with her in the hope it will not become deactivated. I have learned a lot from our conversations about healing. I worry she will disappear and that would be very disappointing to me.

I trust you will be able to heal from this and move forward Myka.