I came up with my bio on my own. It's supposed to funny. Obviously, the whole entire thing isn't all factual, it's entertaining.

If none of it is true, its not funny. Put some truth in it and make the fake stuff more obvious. Some of the fake stuff is obvious, but some may get confused about some of the information they read. You're profile kinda gives the impression that you're not serious and you're hiding something.

That's good advice totage. Thanks for the info my friend.

Oh dear me!!!!
You know what,most of that info can be found in some,of the profiles of people on online dating sites.....scaling mountains,dotting on angelic offspring,holidaying in Lanzarote,etc,etc......and mostly,none of it is true!!!
But,I doubt many girls in age range you seek in will see the humor in it,(since, am thinking,none of it is true)...but women will def laugh or smile....
Change what you can,but don't lose the humor in it either!!

Your profile is weak in one area. It doesn't say how many recipes for cat that you know.

Supposed to be funny? Well it isn't and neither are you!

To bad my daughter is spoken for...you have a lot in common...lol..good luck and have fun..

Use this as a profile pic.
Might get a laugh...or 2.

Just an opinion, get a plan B.

Its a little long for funny..
but keep working on it.... That it will get better every time
Good luck

That's ok, I'd rather date her mother anyway. ;) :P :)

I think it's too long with out any real info about you.

Its way to long. I do like the part about blowing bubblegum into squares. I think if you took half of that out, people would find it funnier.

first rule of comedy: never tell people you are going to be funny.

I think you can condense it and still be funny. Do it in paragraphs. First paragraph is funny (only 8 sentences) and second one starts out saying something like "On a serious note, I enjoy life and believe humor should be a big part of life," or something to let the reader know. Then tell a few things that are true. One thing about humor is that you do not want to carry on. People need time to process the information. Once it is too long, people will skim through it.

Even this suggestion may be skimmed over because it is too lengthy.

It's not funny ... it's boring. If you delete everything after blowing the square bubbles .. then it could be funny, depending on what you come up with after that. Which should be fact & truth, not fiction.

I've seen this done before, and if done right, it can be cool

Not only that, but people will skim through it if its too long. :P ;)