Everyone woke up early the next day. No one wanted to pass up the chance to go on the Via Dolorosa, even if that meant getting only 4 to 5 hours of sleep or less. We can nap on the bus some of them said, when asked if anyone wanted to sleep in that day.

By 430 am, the hotel lobby was littered with a few of us walking around and exploring. My sister had already gone to the bus to catch a few more minutes of sleep. I had an idea you'd be down soon and settled myself on one of the plush single sofas in the waiting area with a good vantage point of the elevators. One by one i saw people from the tour group come out and group themselves together, talking and taking pictures.

I proceeded to take out a pen and paper and began writing a letter for you. Carefully, i gave thoughtful consideration on the words i jotted down, while occasionally looking up to see who else was arriving in the lobby. I saw you come out, wearing a long-sleeved, black, red and white flannel shirt, a black nylon vest and blue jeans. It suited you.

You approached the other guests and indulged their picture frenzy. I continued to write your letter. The priest came up to me and asked what i was doing. Nothing i said, just writing stuff. I stopped as he sat down next to me and began to talk about what we would be doing that day.

Midway our conversation you came up, as if drawn in by my anticipation of you doing so. You told us that the bus was being boarded and it's best to move along. The priest stood first and left. I took my time putting pen and paper away, knowing you'd be a gentleman enough to wait for me. I got up to be met by your wry smile, as if not quite decided if it was a female thing to keep men waiting, or something else entirely. I returned your smile and moved ahead of you, without looking back.

-- original unedited manuscript "Remembering Israel"

I don't know when God is going to unfold something wonderful,
...but I know He will.
I don't know how God is going to reveal something amazing,
...but I'm anticipating.
---gatherforbread.com

"Like I'm Gonna Lose You" - Meghan Trainor / John Legend

http://youtu.be/2-MBfn8XjIU

I found myself dreaming
In silver and gold
Like a scene from a movie
That every broken heart knows
we were walking on moonlight
And you pulled me close
Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone

I woke up in tears
With you by my side
A breath of relief
And I realized
No, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you
Like I'm saying goodbye

wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted
'cause we'll never know when
When we'll run out of time

so I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you
like I'm gonna lose you

In the blink of an eye
Just a whisper of smoke
You could lose everything
The truth is you never know

So I'll kiss you longer baby
Any chance that I get
I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets

Let's take our time
To say what we want
Use what we got
Before it's all gone
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you
Like I'm saying goodbye

wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted
'cause we'll never know when
When we'll run out of time

so I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you
like I'm gonna lose you

Hey
Whoa

I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna hold you
Like I'm saying goodbye

wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted
'cause we'll never know when
When we'll run out of time

so I'm gonna love you
Like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you
like I'm gonna lose you


---------"I could live without you, but I wouldn't want to"�� ~ Suzanne Enoch

It was almost day's end. We were on the last item of our itinerary for the day --evening boat ride in Lake Galilee. The bus stopped near the boardwalk and everyone got off. It was almost 5pm and the sun was shining, the wind was cool, and people were still out and about walking and enjoying the scene.

We were all excited to finally see a body of water again. Living in an archipelago, water was never far from our element, and the sight of Galilee after all that desert was indeed a vision to behold.

In such an open space, i noticed your stance suddenly change. You became more alert, your back more rigid as you surveyed the scene and watched us like a hawk. It was as if one of us might unsuspectingly fall prey to some concealed threat. It was that event which made me realize the kind of dangers you had been in during your military career, and that survival instinct had been deeply ingrained in you.

Many in the group eager to document this momentous locale, had readied their cameras and snapped away. A trio of young israeli men in civilian clothes, sporting an armalite each passed by and two guys from our group brave enough to approach them, asked to have their pictures taken with them. They gladly obliged with ready smiles which resulted in some memorable captured moments.

Eventually, everybody spontaneously grouped together in front of the railing and started taking selfies.They called out to everyone, motioning with their hands to join in. All the ladies, then all the men, then all together. You unsuspectingly became the official photographer for that, which i found amusing. Your just about 6-foot tall frame shifted from defense mode to unwitting cameraman.

One by one you indulged each camera handed to you, as you took your brief moment of artistic license in your new role. One of the men shouted for you to join in the group. This was followed by everybody convincing you to be part of the photo op. It was there that i saw a change in you. Your initial standoffishness evident in that bus ride from Eliat terminal turned into comfortable camaraderie. Our tour manager gladly took the cameras you had left and waved for you to join in. At first you seemed uncomfortable, but after a few more shots, i knew you had found your place with us.

-- original unedited manuscript "Remembering Israel"

Jerusalem i thought, is an ambivalent city. On one side was jewish, on another was christian, then another was muslim, and scattered all around and in between the three were various orthodoxies. All of them collided in this massive place and held a deep sense of belongingness despite the clear lines drawn that separated each from the other. There was an underlying anxiety that anything may occur at any given moment. Maybe that added to the allure of it--that sense of heightened awareness of your surroundings.

We spent the night in a nice hotel with high ceilings, dim lights and an inviting lobby waiting area. I didn't have time to look around the facilities like i would normally do whenever i stayed in a hotel. We arrived there two hours before midnight, and were scheduled for an early call time in the morning to EXPERIENCE the Via Dolorosa. I sat at the edge of my bed looking out the window as my sister slept in hers. The large bay windows in our fifth floor room gave me a good view of the empty street corner far above the level where the hotel entrance was located on the opposite side of the building. The only sign of life was the yellow orange hue emitted by the streetlamp and the whirring engine sound of an occasional car that passed.

The trip was almost over and we would continue on to Egypt in 2 days time. I thought of the stories in your life that you shared with me--returning to Israel, your family, your EXPERIENCE as a soldier, the passion you have for your profession, and mostly your faith. I thought of the way you handled this group comprised largely of senior citizens and how you efficiently kept us all in line. I thought of the protectiveness and candor you exhibited that day we went for the evening boat ride. Most of all, i thought of the way you made me feel, with that mix of hesitancy and kindness you showed me whenever we spoke. Maybe you felt the same way about me. A kindred spirit perhaps, searching for the same things but fully knowing the limitations of that search. Or perhaps, i was just a young girl to you who held a fascination for learning and willingly became your captive audience.

I prayed that night. Silently i knew the friendship i felt would not last beyond this trip, but i wanted to hope beyond that. I prayed for what might come and what will be, and for the lessons i learn from you to remain a beautiful memory no matter where life may take me. A shallow tear fell from my eye, then i fell into a peaceful slumber.

-- original unedited manuscript "Remembering Israel"

There is, after all, no pleasure like that given by a woman who really wants to see you.
~ Anthony Powell

The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.
~ Jimi Hendrix

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
~ Oscar Wilde

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

When love and skill work together expect a masterpiece.
~ John Ruskin

Candle light, moon light, star light; The brightest glow is from love light.
~Grey Livingston

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
~W. Somerset Maugham

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
~ C. S. Lewis

By the time we reached the bus, we were all tired and hungry. We left Jordan early that morning and after that harrowing ride and process through the border terminals, everyone was thankful for arriving to the other side safely.

The trip to into the city showed just how differently geo-political climate can affect the people and the land. The outskirts of Amman was mostly flat plains of dry soil, occasional olive groves scattered haphazardly, and imposing, solitary structures that rose from the ground at intervals, breaking the monotony.

Our Jordanian tour guide, though friendly enough, seemed often...jittery. I remember thinking when we first arrived in Jordan, how bleak it seemed compared to the grand names and titles he kept using in his running commentaries of the places we had gone, such as "the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan", "Her Majesty Queen -", "His Royal Highness King -", and such, and such.

Strangely i thought, you began that ride by standing up and deliberately, carefully counting the number of passengers as if memorizing each of our faces. It seemed that it was only after you've satisfied yourself by committing us to memory that you began to say the expected niceties and introduced yourself and our bus driver. You assigned a count-off and requested each of us to memorize our respective number, and the person whose number followed us. That way, we would always be aware of who was missing, just in case. I have not been on many tours in my lifetime, but it was the first time i've seen a tour guide do this. Good idea, i thought.

Unlike our Jordanian tour guide, who often stood up to address us when we passed a point of interest, you sat with your back to us throughout most of the ride while talking through the mic. This actually gave us the luxury of looking at what you were talking about instead of making us feel the need to look at the speaker, if only to be polite.

Here the landscape began to gradually change. You lightly tapped the microphone with a steady beat each time you wanted our attention on something you had to say. You pointed out the hills on either side of the bus, stating the location and significance of the famed territories of Edom and Moab. I scanned my brain on whatever information i can remember on old testament bible history. I looked at the mountains before me and observed some rock and cave formations. I thought of bronze and iron age foot soldiers going to war with their encampments and hiding places in these lands.

Moving forward, there were now more lush signs of life. The hills became spotted with greens and browns. The plains now showed plots of green fields. Clearly, we have started to reach civilization.

You began to relay to us the story of Israel's rebirth -- the steady return of Jewish settlers (including yourself), the kibbutz lifestyle, and the eventual growth and improvements compared to the way it was before. You also told us of the problems it has been encountering with declining water levels in the lake and the use of water recycling in recent years. I can feel the deep dedication you had the country of your heritage, and the passion you had for what you did. I admired it.

I continued to look outside and thought of the constant rise and fall of kingdoms that was entwined in religiosity. I though of the constant transformations Israel underwent throughout history that led her to this point in time. Just then, in the middle of my reverie, we came to a halt. We were to have lunch in McDonald's.

---Original unedited manuscript "Remembering Israel"

King David's City was a majestic sand stone fortified wall enclosing what used to be the center of all major political, commercial, social and religious activities. Located on the high point of the rolling rocky hills, I imagine it was strategically built there for both optimal defense and offense during his time. As it stands now, several modifications and additions have been made through the years since, which only served to enhance it's stateliness.

The early morning skies were clear that day, and a few stars remained watching over us, as if to make sure we would arrive safely for our endeavor. The middle eastern air was cool and still. We wore light jackets as we entered through Lion's gate and made our way towards Station I.

Inside, the fully cobblestoned streets lined the way. We walked down the wide shallow steps that brought us to the starting point of the Via Dolorosa. We needed to arrive early in order to avoid the crowds that would surely occupy these streets later on. There was a christian quarter and a muslim quarter that we would be passing through. In between there are narrow streets and alleyways with several shops and side vendors that might distract any one of us. You cautioned us to stay within the path that was mapped out, until we safely reached the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

While waiting for the cross that we would be carrying to be brought over, a few shops had opened. Out of curiosity and perhaps defiance, I purposely wandered along the entrance of one or two of them, knowing it was something you would not approve of. In one of the shops selling treats, a middle-aged arab offered me tea. I noticed that you kept a distance near me and i saw a look in your face that made me decline the hospitality offered me. I felt a sense of apprehension and foreboding then and decided to return to the main group.

A few minutes passed and two men came carrying a large wooden cross. You announced that we would not be able to carry it all at the same time and would have to rotate, and take turns as to who will take the lead at the head of the cross.

I was not too keen on "taking up" that particular cross. I volunteered to take some of the cameras and began snapping pictures, instead. Our priest started the way of the cross by reciting the events of each station. You stayed a close distance behind as you observed our surroundings. Again, your attentiveness belied the protection you offered our group. Though, some of the small alleyways seemed to beckon me to enter and explore, I no longer felt the urge to stray away, lest i cause you trouble.

We continued on to the small side-streets that began to fill with with people and items displayed for sale. Each station we passed made us stop and switch positions, as the priest talked of its significance. At one point, you came up next to me, gave me a light nudge and urged me to take my turn with the cross. You did this twice when i refused, so i eventually obliged.

One by one we passed through the Roman numerals I to VII engraved or displayed on the walls or doorways of churches, convents and monasteries of christian, catholic, orthodox or coptic denominations. It was not long when we felt the sun rise and and we reached the ninth station. There we stopped, and relinquished the wooden cross before continuing on to the vicinity of the the Church of the Holy Sepulchre where stations X to XII were located.

In that area between where Jesus fell for the third time and where he was stripped of his garments, i was free to roam as i pleased. It was a few minutes walk to the church and the street in that area was almost empty, save for our group and a few locals that walked by. As the church was full of pilgrims and tourists, we had to wait for a few minutes just outside the plaza for our turn to enter. A few souvenir shops were open, some people went in. I stayed outside to explore the old structures, never venturing too far from your sight.


--- original unedited manuscript "Remembering Israel"

http://www.mydestinationunknown.com/2012/11/25/inspirational-travel-quotes-and-why-we-travel/
-- by Kellie Netherwood


1. WE TRAVEL to open our eyes, broaden our minds and soften our souls
I SAY:
The best education is the one taught outside the classroom
THEY SAY:
~When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.(Clifton Fadiman)
~Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.(Maya Angelou)
~To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.(Aldous Huxley)
~The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.(St Augustine)
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. (Marcel Proust)


2. WE TRAVEL in search of new experiences
I SAY:
Tourists have holidays - travellers have experiences
THEY SAY:
~Tourists don't know where they’ve been, travellers don’t know where they are going. (Paul Theroux)
~If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home.(James Michener)
~A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car. (Emile Ganest)
The traveller sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see. (G.K. Chesterton)


3. WE TRAVEL to look at home through new eyes
I SAY:
~The most effective way of appreciating what you have and where you are from is to leave it.
THEY SAY:
~When overseas, you learn more about your own country than you do the place you’re visiting. (Clint Borgen)
A wise traveller never despises his own country. (Carlo Goldoni)
~No one realises how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.(Lin Yutang)
~The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land: it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.(G.K. Chesterton)
~People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. (Dagobert D Runes)
~We shall not cease from exploration, And the end of all our exploring, Will be to arrive where we started, And to know that place for the first time.(TS Eliot)


4. WE TRAVEL to open ourselves up to life-changing opportunities
I SAY:
~Overcoming the fear of the unknown is the first step in breaking the rut of discontent.
THEY SAY:
~He who is outside his door already has the hardest part of his journey behind him.(Dutch proverb)
Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference. (Robert Frost)
~Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. (Andrew Gide)
~When you can't change the direction of the wind - adjust your sails. (H Jackson Brown Jnr)
~If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.(Milton Berle)
The life you have led doesn't need to be the only life you have. (Anna Quindlen)
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. (Lao Tzu)
Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing whilst in pursuit of something else.(Lawrence Block)


5. WE TRAVEL on a journey of self-discovery
I SAY:
~It't often said that the best way to get to know someone is by travelling with them and there is no better journey of self-discovery than the one you take as a solo traveller.
THEY SAY:
~I have found out that ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.(Mark Twain)
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves. (Sir Edmund Hillary)
To travel is to take a journey into yourself. (Danny Kaye)
~The man who goes alone can start today: but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. (Henry David Thoreau)
~Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. (TS Eliot)
When you are travelling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. (William Least Heat Moon)
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. (Henry David Thoreau)


6. WE TRAVEL to connect with like-minded people and make new friends
I SAY:
The journey is more rewarding than the destination and it’s the people you meet along the way that enrich the experience.
THEY SAY:
~The more I travelled the more I realised that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.(Shirley MacLaine)
~A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.(Tim Cahill)
The great difference between voyages rests not with the ships, but with the people you meet on them. (Amelia E Barr)


7. WE TRAVEL to live, not just exist
I SAY:
~There is nothing more energising than being outside your comfort zone, choosing flexibility over routine and appreciating freedom more than security. You can always replenish your bank account but you cannot reclaim time.
THEY SAY:
The greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.(Bill Bryson)
~Twenty years from now you will more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. (Mark Twain)
~For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move. (Robert Louis Stevenson)
~A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.(Lao Tzu)
~ The further one goes, the less one knows. (Lao Tzu)


And my personal favourite:
Not all those who wander are lost.(JRR Tolkien)

I walked down the stone steps that brought me to the covered walkway where you waited. There was a small atrium filled with potted plants. I started to ask what you called me for, when you motioned me to keep quiet, putting your two fingers near your mouth. I cautiously walked nearer, curious as to what you wanted to show me.

You pointed to a large butterfly resting languidly on one of the taller plants. I smiled sheepishly at your gesture, but appreciated it nonetheless. Not wanting an awkward silence to fall upon us, i asked how long you had been a tour guide for. Your answer did not matter to me, i just wanted to start a conversation. You asked why i did not join in the mass upstairs. I was not catholic, i said. I used to be, but things had changed.

You nodded as if you understood everything i meant by that. So i asked, "What about you?" You proceeded to tell me how you were a Messianic Jew, and explained to me that although you were born and raised into Jewish customs and traditions, an event during the war made you realize the reality of Jesus. Since then, you had devoted much of your life educating yourself and others on the differences of the Jewish belief from that of Christ's life and teachings.

You spoke of family, how many times you had "discussions" about these differences. Your father-in-law, a respected elder in your kibbutz, was especially one who often went toe-to-toe with you in these matters. Judging by the examples of topics you talked about, it seemed to me you held your ground during these talks.

We worked our way across the the courtyard and we both sat on the flower box lining the bottom of the wall. It wasn't your first time to accompany a group from my country, so i asked if you knew which one of the tiled frames was in Filipino. You didn't, so i pointed it out and read it to you.

Just then, you took out a picture from your wallet and showed me your wife and your children. I thought she was beautiful, and you make a happy family. You then recounted fondly what your children did, and how you and your wife met. I thought it interesting that you mentioned how differently you preferred to spend vacations compared to her. Where you preferred the outdoors, sleeping under the stars, she liked the city life and staying in nice hotels. I understood both concepts and told you why.

We continued our conversation on an assortment of topics. I enjoyed the things you had to say and learning about the religion and politics in Israel. It was the first time that i heard of entry citizenship being based on religious affiliation. As you were telling me about the issues you felt against some islamic beliefs, when the rest of the group started filling the courtyard. I looked around and saw my parents looking for me. I took my leave and walked away.

-- original unedited manuscript "Remembering Israel"

oh this kiss...this one left them all behind...

the very best.ever.
was. is. and always will be...(can't find any smiley to describe appropriately what I feel..)

My writing desk broke...

How'm I s'pose to write without a writing desk...

I know you said earlier "Mmm...don't believe we've ever met...but something tells me we'll get along "jest" fine..."


IF YOU ARE NOT WHO I THINK YOU ARE..then please accept my apologies in advance for being a stubborn..intrusive...presumptuous idiot..

my only excuse is, you sound so much like her..the resemblance is uncanny

that being said, i just felt the need to express this here.. in this thread, in particular..


the day I found the thread PT's Rantroom, I actually read it from page 1 to 23..
READ EACH WORD.TASTED EVERY FEELINGS.SAVORED EACH EMOTION.


AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING LIKE A LESBIAN
(yup.yup.i know it sounds prude.defensive.narrow-minded and plain old fashion.but a BISEXUAL IS A STRETCH.
I KNOW MY EXPERIENCE IS NEXT TO NIL BUT AT LEAST
I CAN HONESTLY SAY I'VE BEEN THERE.DONE THAT.TASTED BOTH.
STILL AND ALWAYS WILL PREFER A MAN)

-just want to clear that out.as candid as my self esteem and self-respect will allow.

JUST ON A SLIM CHANCE THAT YOU ARE WHO I THINK YOU ARE:
(even if you told me you're not..peace)


I am sorry I'm a big disappointment.

I want you to know, that for me you are larger than life.
BRILLIANT.UNBEATABLE.A FORCE TO RECKON WITH...

even if I know deep in my heart,
that all you wanted, was for me
to see you as human too.the real deal. a true friend, one can hope in this lifetime..

I love you.
Is still loving you.
Will Always love you.

I'm just so sorry I was never there when you needed someone like me..
FORGIVE ME, I was so far away, when you needed me most.

Know that I chose to exile myself and live alone
because i refuse to be a baggage..
because i felt so unworthy of your friendship..
unworthy to all of you back home..

know that i am okay..


Please know, that when I was at the lowest point of my life & health.Alone

THINKING OF U, helps me get up..SHOVED BACK AT LIFE AS HARD AS I CAN,

WITH ALL THE STRENGTH, MY OWN SMALL HANDS AND FIGHTING SPIRIT WOULD ALLOW ME..


was. is. and will always be :ONE FRIEND http://youtu.be/zgWIyTuu9hY

(still cant find the appropriate smiley of what I feel..)

...she must've been someone real special, for you to vent all that ^^ out...

she deserves to know what you feel. maybe try contacting her somehow?

i think you deserve some closure for whatever it was that happened between you two.

i'm sorry to say that i'm not who you want to think i am, but i do appreciate the candidness of your post.

thank you for going through the rant room. it's not too often people can go thru the whole thing all at once.

God bless

Okay, so now I am convinced you are not her..haha

..and more mortified than ever..

..she is special and brilliant indeed..and now that things are looking up good in my end..am planning to be a better friend to her in the very near future.. like next month..lol

"i think you deserve some closure for whatever it was that happened between you two.." (I beg to disagree on this:bigsmile)

PURE friendship like this, is once in a lifetime..
closure is not necessary..(had it been a romantic one..then closure is.. but with pure friendship..I dont think there is a need )

it could all be sum up in Robert Southey's poem..

"no distance or place or lapse of time
can lesser the friendship of those who are thoroughly
persuaded of each others worth.."

..live well and thank you for your patience.

if that's the case...then no need to feel like a disappointment