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Topic: Learning to trust
Abracadabra's photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:17 PM
I give all women an ultimatum.

Either go out with me,.....




























or don't! bigsmile

no photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:27 PM
nooooooooooooo this was " do you want me to fall in love with you or not"? cause I have plan B but Id really want to be with you but plan b is saying yes.........lmaoooooooooooo

wow I am special@@!!!ohwell laugh laugh

Abracadabra's photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:42 PM
Oh pooh!

I don't have a plan B.

Women just don't go out with me and that's the end of it. :cry:

But at least I gave them an ULTIMATUM! bigsmile

ME MACHO MAN!!!

:insert sound of fists pounding on chest here:

laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:47 PM
hahaha omg I think that is the smallest post Ive ever seen abra!!!!! Cheers!!!drinker drinker drinker

redwulfe's photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:49 PM
In the end I don't feel anyone should trust someone sore something blindly. Trust must be earned and built upon not just given. anyone that demands such may not be someone that I could ever trust. If they are trustworthy then they will not have to demand it for they would never do something to break or lose it. I am on these forums to earn the trust of the people on here so that a potential girlfriend will trust me not because I say "trust me" but because she has read my posts, knows who I am, and trusts me. I personally would rather have to earn trust, It shows that the person I'm with is not frevalous(sp?) with their emotions. The best things in life are worth waiting for, and if it takes me several years to win the heart of someone then at least I know that they actually love me and they are not just saying so to get something from me. Trust is a two way street.

no photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:57 PM
oldsage wrote:

Don't be in a hurry. You both need to earn the relationship.
Don't believe the words, look at the actions.
Does he RESPECT you first?
Can you be friends, first?
"All good things come to those that wait."
Respect yourself first & then see where it goes.

============================================================

And yes,it is very true, Respect should come first. If you think he respects you in all aspects then he could be your potential partner. It is really hard to trust someone you meet online but once respect is established then all other good things will follow. I am talking here based on my experience, and I can relate to what oldsage said, Respect since this is where me and my man started a good relationship. Now I am happy to tell everyone that we are getting stronger and closer each day while we wait for that day that we will be together, though a wait must be ahead.

Anyways, Goodluck to you girl! flowerforyou

Abracadabra's photo
Sun 09/30/07 10:59 PM
I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to trust them.

I demand trust from no one.

Give me whatever trust you’re comfortable with.

I’m an open book, ask and you shall receive.

I keep no secrets, and no questions are taboo.

Life is simple.

Que Sara Sara. drinker

no photo
Sun 09/30/07 11:00 PM
really??? Im the opposite.......I trust no one until they give me a reason to trust them........ya I know.....terrible.......

Abracadabra's photo
Sun 09/30/07 11:09 PM
Well, I hope you realize that I'm talking within the realm of normal relationships (platonic or otherwise) with friends of either gender.

I didn't necessarily mean that I'll naïvely believe every stranger that I randomly meet on the street. :wink:

Also, just because I trust someone doesn't necessarily mean that I want to date them.

On the other hand, what are you doing later tonight? bigsmile

Jess642's photo
Sun 09/30/07 11:16 PM
<---------------gullible, naive....trusting.

I trust everyone to be who they say they are, and show themselves to be.

When they show something different, I figure it was me, who decided they could only be the person I decided they could be...

I boxed them in, so it is me that got it wrong, not them.


Maybe I don't trust me...laugh

no photo
Sun 09/30/07 11:19 PM
I go by a person's energy, their actions, Im always 5 steps and watching........

no photo
Sun 09/30/07 11:19 PM
I would love to trust easily but I learned from the school of hard knocks.....noway

Jess642's photo
Sun 09/30/07 11:24 PM
Same here Gypsy, intuition, gut feeling, observation, all of it...but still I allow them to be who they say they are, or be who they decide to be...

I guess, I have nothing to take from me, that I don't offer freely anyway.

School of hard knocks taught me that....you can't take from me, that which I didn't offer in the first place freely.

SassyMomAlex's photo
Mon 10/01/07 06:31 AM
It is because I have trusted so easily in the past that I am not so trusting now, unfortunately. I wish I had that intuition, gut feeling, or whatever you want to call it...being able to gauge someone's positive or negative energy. I wouldn't be pulling my hair out trying to figure out if I should trust this guy or not. I will just have to wait until I meet him. He says beautiful things to me. Now I will just have to see if his actions reflect what he has said to me.

Mystique42's photo
Mon 10/01/07 06:45 AM
I totally agree with oldsage... TIME is certainly the key in a relationship. Trust is earned. Some people are just great with words and mirages...they can tell who you want to meet and they know exactly how to pretend to be who you are searching for. The key is to sit back and LISTEN, and remember that anyone can tell you things but ACTIONS do tell more about a person. Unfortunately we are all dealing with a McDonalds mentality... I want it quick and my way.... SLOW down and don't be in such a hurry to find the ONE. Believe in yourself and watch for the red flags when someone doesn't seem to be who they say they are.

SassyMomAlex's photo
Mon 10/01/07 06:58 AM
Thanks, Mystique...you are right. I will try to take it slow and not rush anything.

oldsage's photo
Mon 10/01/07 07:18 AM
This is strictly MY view of what quite often seems to happen in meeting/dating/relationships.

People let their desire/need to feel loved, BLIND their minds to/from what is really happening. EVERYONE is on good behavior at the beginning, it is how we are taught; be nice when you meet new people. It takes time to find the real core of MOST people.

Look to the future & I don't mean just tomorrow, but the real distant future. What about kids, on both sides, what is reality? Who will really be able to make the move, in long distance things. If your B.S.ing them, your really B.S.ing
YOURSELF. Look for the REALITY, see thru the fog. It will save ALOT of heartache.

Greyhound's photo
Mon 10/01/07 07:25 AM
As always oldsage,very good advice. Amen to thatflowerforyou

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