Ok, how do you learn to trust someone without driving yourself insane and not driving away the person who might be "the one?" I am sooo tired of hearing what a great person I am and pretty...blah, blah, blah yet I get used time after time after time. Please don't get me wrong. Every girl, and guy, wants to hear that they are physically attractive and that they are a great person on the inside. But when you hear it so many times followed by squealing tires, it makes you wonder...am I really that person or were they just saying that to get what they want?

I have met a man on here and he seems sincere. But he has said the same exact things that I have heard in the past. He seems to be everything I could want for a partner but I don't trust what he says because of past experience. I don't think I can take another "player." How can I protect myself from getting hurt for the 100th time? I really like this guy but I don't trust him or the praises he has lavished on me because I have heard it too many times before. But what if he actually is sincere and I screw it up because I let past experiences interfer? Hell, I don't know. I apologize for the whining but I am honestly at a lost. I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET USED AGAIN!!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated - Thank you.

Try to be as open as you can but take everyone with a grain of salt....
I hear ya on the ohhhhhhhhhh youre sooooooo beautiful/cute bla bla blablaaaaaaaa......nice to hear at times but can be frustrating as well.....

Alex...

To me actions speaks LOUDER than words. When you feel comfortable I would meet him. People can say what ever they might think you want to hear. Have them prove how important you are to them...with how they treat you when you make him "real" to you.

I hope you get what you want...it's not an easy road. Trusting yourself in how you feel is a good start. To me...you need trust in a relationship, it's very important

Just my 2 cents worth...

Learning to trust is like learning to walk...You are going to fall down and get hurt a lot of times before you figure it out and gain success

there are definately times when you shouldnt trust people.....I find If I sit quietly with them and feel their energy I can usually feel it........

Ya sounds weird but true

I also agree with puffins....

Thank you all for your advice. I do need to trust in myself and not get pulled in again by fancy words. You are right...actions speak louder than words.

Trust yourself........just not everyone else....and actions do speak louder than words......its funny how I can weed out the good and bad in here......just by their longevity........

I actually had one guy give me an ultimatium........pffffffft what?????

An ultimatum??? OMG...get over yourself! That is too funny.

yes it was between me and another girl.......Im like whaaaa? huh??? I didnt even know you liked me!!!

I said if I was that special, well then go for the other girl and he did.........

Im not crying......Im laughing about it.

Good for you! As much as I have been played in the past, I am still astounded at the "I am the greatest man to walk the earth and you should kiss my feet" attitude.

if they don't have the patience to be your friend at first then they will never have the patience to be your friend for life.

wise words muriel!!!

Very wise!

Don't be in a hurry. You both need to earn the relationship.
Don't believe the words, look at the actions.
Does he RESPECT you first?
Can you be friends, first?
"All good things come to those that wait."
Respect yourself first & then see where it goes.

Thanks for posting this thread, your not the only one with this problem, and thank you everyone for the advice. It all makes so much sense, but it's not necessarily something you think about at the time.

this is an awesome post...thank u for having the idea to post it. I am so tired of hearing " well u will just have to trust me" why would I lie to you...blah blah blah. Isnt there anyone out there that is honest and decent and has a heart and doesnt think with his little one eyed brain?

Words are cheap

Some people will tell you exactly what they think you want to hear

Take time and see what the other person is REALLY about

Actions speak louder than words ...

I'm from the Show Me State, so the guy
is gonna have to show me what he is about

Life is too short to be dealing with a lot of bullcrap

I'm here!!

Thanks again for all of your advice. I will just have to be honest with this guy and tell him what is and what isn't going to be happening. If he still wants to meet and get to know each other, well then he will be one up on the trust factor.

Good luck to you all!

Try not to let fear rule you my dear. Just because you experienced something bad doesn't mean you can't triumph over it. Learning to ride a bike. If the pain of falling was really greater each time you fell, you would have never mastered the skill of riding a bike. Try to remember and admire the bravery of being a youth before you decide to live in fear as an adult.

Hope this helps,
Faustino