In an ideal world, your (future) partner should be the sum of you your parts - basically he or she should make you 100% whole. Whereby the need to compromise is negated.

However, we don't live in an ideal world therefore what % are you prepared to settle on?

Would you settle for someone that always forgets to put the toilet seat down or take the bins out regardless of how many times you tell him/her. Someone who doesn'��t interact with your kids (from another relationship) too well. Someone whose first language isn't yours and there are communication issues. Someone with a different faith than yours or gasp, no faith completely agnostic while your celebrating yours every single day and twice on Sunday's . Or Someone that wasn’t as financially solvent as you.

How much would the sum of all his/her parts add up to e.g. how much are you willing to settle for (or if it sounds better, compromise on)?

this made sense in my head when I thought it up it

you lost me at "...he or she should make you 100% whole."

if one is not 'whole' going in, no amount of 'he' or 'she' can fix that, nor should it be expected.

Very true however, this was kinda based along the concept that meeting your soul mate (if you believe in that) completes you e.g. makes you 100% whole. Play along with me KC

yeah, that analogy kind of throws me too

but I think the question is about which things we can compromise about,,

I don't compromise on loving my kids,

I don't compromise on their loving themselves ( I don't want to be their reason for living, in otherwords, I want to be their CHOICE of partner not their necessity)

I don't compromise on them loving/believing in God and Christ as Gods only begotten son


I don't compromise on them not being too lazy to work in and out of the home , where necessary.


I don't compromise on them showing respect to the elders, its a solid value of my culture and one I raise my children with.

I don't compromise on being able to communicate, which means we do have to speak the same language,,, English.

I don't compromise on vulgarity (not interested)

I don't compromise on tattoos, once the skin looks more like an easel than a human being,, I cant stomach it,,


same with piercings,, once it looks more like a pin cushion,,


other than those things, no one is perfect, and its really going to come down to the chemistry and how closely our values and goals coincide.

apologies for the bad analogy but it's based on the fact that the person that you're likely to meet may not meet your criteria 100% so how much are you willing to settle on?

You only want sausage babydoll, the toilet seat and his financial situation shouldn't be an issue either way.

I think these threads are too conditional based... How about trying the H.O.W. method...

(H)onesty
(O)penmindedness
(W)illingness

Preconceived notions about how anything "should" be, will surely produce poor results...

A girl can dream darlin and besides, wanting sausage doesn't negate sleep overs



Nice acronym BTW. I don't think it's a preconceived notion to have a plan. Some people 'nest', I like a plan.

Doesn't mean I stick to it, I just like to work out the variables

It's it sometimes the point of knowing that you've found the right partner is someone that challenges each others preconceptions so that if the relationship were to end, you've changed and grown as a result?

When in love, I can overlook ANYthing.
I am easy that way.

Exactly which is why regardless of whatever "conditions" I may have, they all go out the window when I need the ones that make me bark like a bi@ch in heat

As long as the chemistry is strong between us.

good topic I think..
just a little too deep for me.

Are we building a robot......

hahahaha sounds like a YouTube video, can you say viral? :-)

Soufie, I never expected that you were easy.

Both should be at 100% - In that way, no one is in need / relying on one's % or looking elsewhere for fulfillment.

Oh yes.
They named the chair after me.

I don't consider compromise settling, but I would never have a LT relationship with someone who did not interact with my kids.

Everyone has deal breakers - you just have to decide what yours are. Personally, I don't have one of those long lists of what I am not willing to accept.

However, if we don't have much in common -- like language, faith, financial security -- then I doubt I would date him in the first place.

If he forgets the toilet seat, no biggie - not a deal breaker. LOL