Here's a topic sure to get some interesting replies. This happened to a friend of mine, and I'm trying to advise her.

A professional woman dates a professional man. He keeps asking her to move in with him, but she avoids it for many reasons. Finally she does. He has two kids by his ex-wife, and he actually wasn't divorced as he said he was when they first started dating, but he is divorced before she moves in. The kids are very poorly behaved and they treat her as though she's an invader, even as she waits on them, cooks for them, and cares for them.

That's right. He starts to treat her not like a date but like a kitchen slave, barefoot and starving, no time to run her business because she is trying to keep up with his demands for domestic support. He'd said he would hire help and do his part, but she is now neglecting her college age child, career, health, etc. while her boyfriend drools over his ex-wife every time she stops by unexpectedly and then once she leaves orders the live in girlfriend around in front of the kids.

She knows she should just kick the guy to the curb, but she's taken financial risks to be with him, and he claims to want to work it out. They have an appointment for counseling.

I think she should limit her investment in him and the kids while getting her business back on track and looking after her college student, and then leave him. She thinks she should give him one more crack, and he's agreed to relationship counseling.

The latest development is that she's found out that he's been chatting and emailing with old girlfriends and using porn when she's taking a shower. She's seriously hot looking, extremely nice, very intelligent and an amazing mother. She has a great personality too. She's been so nice to him.

He is professionally very successful and even wealthy, but during all of this, he's never offered to support her or pay more than a few bills. He is a real penny pincher in and out of bed. And, he's started to check out anything in tight pants when they are supposedly on a romantic walk or away overnight. She is used to being the one being checked out, but he looks over her head at teenagers and other people's wives. He even brags about his ex-wife and ex-girlfriends, about how much younger they were than him and about their advanced degrees. Though she has an advanced degree, he is apparently more impressed with theirs.

Again, I think she needs to get out of there. She could have 100 successful, good looking men after her in a heartbeat. But, she's giving him another chance, even though she knows what he's up to online.

She's not an idiot, and she has considered leaving him. She's told him to treat her like a queen or she'd leave. But, he still acts like he can't use the stove and refuses to buy her flowers or take her away on trips more than a short overnighter during which he will stare at and talk with her about young women in tight pants. What can I say to her to cut the losses and not give him any more time than she needs to get herself in a better position to leave?

She doesn't love him, and she does see it all. She was her own worst enemy by moving in and giving up that contract to help him with his kids, his house, etc. But, she knows she needs to get out and do so in a strong position.

The thing that is tripping her up is that she has to play nice to keep the peace. She is also doing the counseling to try to support that illusion. But, she's very sincere and not cold-hearted. When she is intimate with him and when she sees any kind of progress, she starts to care too much. And, then his behavior hurts her, and she becomes paralyzed. She talks to him about it, and he gets mad, and then she gets hurt and paralyzed again.

Mostly, she is working on not letting anything he does hurt her and not letting anything he does get her too encouraged. She feels that if she can play nice without actually being affected by his behavior, she'll do okay getting out. But, she's very sincere, and this is hard for her. At this point, because of her sacrifices for her son and never demanding any help from his dad in order to protect her son, getting out is easier said than done. If she could walk out free and clear, she would.

So, she is responsive to encouragement and ideas. And, she's trying hard to make it happen.

Why don't you just let her catch you sleeping with him? That should do the trick in having her dump him

It looks to me like these two professionals are playing each other, and may the better player win.

Just saying...

Thank you for your support, Blondey! It takes a village, even for adults, right?

Mercedes, I get what you mean, but there isn't really any way for anyone but her closest friends to know that this is about her.

Here's a topic sure to get some interesting replies. This happened to a friend of mine, and I'm trying to advise her.

A professional woman dates a professional man. He keeps asking her to move in with him, but she avoids it for many reasons. Finally she does. He has two kids by his ex-wife, and he actually wasn't divorced as he said he was when they first started dating, but he is divorced before she moves in. The kids are very poorly behaved and they treat her as though she's an invader, even as she waits on them, cooks for them, and cares for them.

That's right. He starts to treat her not like a date but like a kitchen slave, barefoot and starving, no time to run her business because she is trying to keep up with his demands for domestic support. He'd said he would hire help and do his part, but she is now neglecting her college age child, career, health, etc. while her boyfriend drools over his ex-wife every time she stops by unexpectedly and then once she leaves orders the live in girlfriend around in front of the kids.

She knows she should just kick the guy to the curb, but she's taken financial risks to be with him, and he claims to want to work it out. They have an appointment for counseling.

I think she should limit her investment in him and the kids while getting her business back on track and looking after her college student, and then leave him. She thinks she should give him one more crack, and he's agreed to relationship counseling.

The latest development is that she's found out that he's been chatting and emailing with old girlfriends and using porn when she's taking a shower. She's seriously hot looking, extremely nice, very intelligent and an amazing mother. She has a great personality too. She's been so nice to him.

He is professionally very successful and even wealthy, but during all of this, he's never offered to support her or pay more than a few bills. He is a real penny pincher in and out of bed. And, he's started to check out anything in tight pants when they are supposedly on a romantic walk or away overnight. She is used to being the one being checked out, but he looks over her head at teenagers and other people's wives. He even brags about his ex-wife and ex-girlfriends, about how much younger they were than him and about their advanced degrees. Though she has an advanced degree, he is apparently more impressed with theirs.

Again, I think she needs to get out of there. She could have 100 successful, good looking men after her in a heartbeat. But, she's giving him another chance, even though she knows what he's up to online.

She's not an idiot, and she has considered leaving him. She's told him to treat her like a queen or she'd leave. But, he still acts like he can't use the stove and refuses to buy her flowers or take her away on trips more than a short overnighter during which he will stare at and talk with her about young women in tight pants. What can I say to her to cut the losses and not give him any more time than she needs to get herself in a better position to leave?