After reviewing the new employee handbook many employees decided to look for new employment. Attached is a copy of the updated companies policies that outraged many.

DRESS CODE: This is to advise you that you need to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350.00 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600.00 Gucci bag we will assume you are doing well financially and do not need a raise. If you dress poorly you will need to learn to manage your money better so that you might buy nicer clothes, therefore, you do not need a raise. If you dress in between you are right where you need to be and, therefore, do not need a raise.

SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of illness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year, they are called Saturday and Sunday.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. You can do nothing for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, funerals should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. A strict three-minute time limit in the stalls is being put in effect. After three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "chronic offenders" category.

Welcome, the company looks forward to many happy and productive years while you struggle to keep your head above water.

there is a hell---if we allow it---

Too funny! Thank you for posting!

How did you know where I used to work????