Long story short...(will add more if people don't mind )

Met a guy via "online"(him:41..me:36)...dated for just over 4 months..
QUITE serious(both were looking for marriage from the get go)....to point of discussing me moving myself, my house pets & horses out to his farm quite soon....

Out of the blue one night as I slept....got a TEXT MESSAGE :breaking up with me...

We shared a text/call convoy 5 days later(he started it...)and I drove to his place...spent the weekend(Easter weekend..family and all...)
then the day I drove home he dropped the final goodbye type comment....

I have gone about my life... Doing my activities, enjoying friends, sharing time with my horses...etc etc(to stay in a healthy mindset after the breakup)

Today after just over 2 weeks since I drove off his property..
I got a text in the middle of my workday from him...
telling me..(probably can't quote here..not sure)very exuberant hello.. telling me the outcome of the loaner truck he got while his truck is in the repair shop....
in the message he mentions things about the loaner truck that were things we both talked about as something WE would have when we had a truck for US....

I congratulated him on his truck obviously being repaired...
he continued to talk about it..&..send me pics!!

I replied " I am happy for you.. But I must admit..QUITE confused about getting a message from you!"

his response(no quote unless permitted)
he said he was just saying hi..that he should be leaving me alone..hope all is well....(with LOTS of simile faces & exclamation points....


Guy friends @ work gave some insight...awaiting insight from my little brother, and best friend(guy)

But....
Really.....what should I do/say...if anything?
To me (and maybe it is my hopes getting up...?) but the point of him saying he "should likely leave me alone" almost sounds like a question from him (knowing how he talks and such)

REALLY REALLY need some sound, nonjudgmental advice from MEN mostly...but ladies welcome...
Thank you all!

.. sometimes when a guy truly likes a woman.. and he has a little bit of time to think seriously about . where the relationship might go.. at one point he has to ask himself.. am I good enough.. am I going to hurt her in the long run.. and if the answer is yes. you do what he did.. push you away.. but then. sometimes the guy has. for a lack of better words.. sellers remorse..
.. you want back what you let go..
.. I would tell him to go sit and think about it really hard for a while.. . just my humble opinion..phD..

Non-judgmental advice... he should know better before his drama impulsive breaking with u thing... 43, not an age 2 do stupid impulsive things anymore: that's the non judgmental part.

If u want him back, do whateva u want, cuz we both know u will listen and follow ur heart, and not other people's advice.

If u were my sister or daughter I would say stay away from him and move on. His loss! Let him rot in hell.

That maybe a bit judgmental... true nonetheless!

suggest I say exactly that? or how??
I thank you for your care to reply!!

I obviously will ultimately make the choice best suited to me...but...honestly...the advice from you kind men is a GREAT HELP!!!(otherwise I wouldn't ask!!!)

I can appreciate your comment about "if I was your sister or daughter"....never actually talked to my Dad about it...but stil waiting on my brother to get back to me...( I trust HIS judgement more than my Dad's...)

Thank you VERY MUCH for your reply and input!

.. okay do you want me to do this for you!!.. .
... just tell him your concerns.. ask him what he really wants.. not to answer you face to face at that moment though..
we don't like being cornered.. just tell him to go do some soul searching.. and to be honest with you and himself.. let him know.. and this is important..!!..
that it is OK with you if he doesn't want to be with you anymore.. you need to give us a easy out.. I know we're not called dogs..
for no reason right.

of course not silly...
I guess I just ask because a couple guy friends said to NOT reply at all...leave it....
but....
as you could guess, given I was broken up with via text...(at an age it is not a mature thing to do/have)
I am still thinking about him...wanting to tell him my day, accomplishments, etc.....
but have been a "good girl" and respected his desires....(the "break up")
and not said a word...(no matter how much I wanted to!)

THEN his msgng me to tell me some random thing in his life??? Friggen confusing to the woman that was "told" it was done!!

.. once again buyers remorse..
.. you know maybe you should try looking at dating other people..hmm

I mean you are on a dating site after all right.. do a little window shopping..
you women love window shopping..
. and you never know.. you might just make a purchase.. and then you can have buyers remorse..

I had...otherwise I wouldn't be writing here....but....obviously I am having confusion....
hence the request for help in the context...not matters of what I "could be doing"!

Hi Leo.
Your ex-boyfriend has texted you it's over, then 5 days later he's smoothed it over so you spent Easter weekend with him, then "the final goodbye type comment".
Now 2 weeks later, it's as if nothing has happened and he's talking about his truck!
He's obviously told you twice it's over yet calls you about something trivial (not feelings).
A couple of things jump out at me.
He could be confused as some have said - he wants, he doesn't, he does, ...
Or perhaps he's not confused at all - he wants you as a friend he can share good news with (because he knows you still care for him) and perhaps a friend with benefits when it suits him. But not a long term relationship.
Leo, you deserve more than what this guy is willing to give of himself. It is very difficult to let go of someone you care about, but I suggest you let him go. It's also just like you said - texting goodbye, it's over is not a mature way to communicate not after 5 months and you're both not teenagers.
I wish you the best as you go through this most confusing and frustrating time.

.. yeah I got that part.. smiling softly to her.. I was just having a bit of fun..
..ok.. did not mean any disrespect by it at all.. .
. backs out of the room slowly.. closing that door behind himself... bye and good luck.

I see a lot of good advice from everyone here.
My questions to you, putting him aside for a moment and focusing only on your opinions: what do you want and expect of a man? Of a relationship?
Then, does he meet those expectations?
If you let him back in, what's going to be different? Or what are you willing to sacrifice?
Wish you all the best.

Thank you ALL so very much!

I am still waffling on how to reply to his last message stating that he was just saying hi and wondering how I am doing...
My brother said to simply say "ok" and that leaves the ball in his court...
That IF in fact he is feeling that he made a poor choice in the break up...that HE is the one to say so....
But NOT with a random.."hi, how are you"
That it MUST be NO less than an apology, and to tell me that he made a mistake, and wants to rebuild the relationship...

I trust my brother, (and take heart in what all of you have said!)

So..I did just that...said .."oh. ok......."
and am leaving it there...
ONWARD and UPWARD to good times for ME!
:)

he wants sex. period

I agree with the above - he is trying to have his cake and eat it too.

your choice: You can block him (what I would do)

or let him waste your time while he sets you up to allow him to pull the same breakup stunt again

remember - he can only doormat you if u let him

and he does sound awfully immature for someone in his 40s



TBH it sounds like you guys moved a little too fast to be considering moving in with him lock, stock & barrel after only 4 mos. He should have again, shown more maturity.

so next time (with hopefully a different guy) go a little slower

that's just my $.02. Good Luck with w/e you decide.

that's all

((((Leo))))

Hope it is all sorted out now?

he may be confused. ....ir he may just be capitalizing on your confusion. ..he knows you like him....he wants sex but not a relationship. ..but he also knows you want companionship...so he dangles the idea so he gets sex...but he never really commits....

my advice see where you really stand, be friendly with him...maybe even go out to his place again....but dont sleep with him...tell him that you only do that with people you know are serious... he will say he is. ..don't let that sway you....wait until his actions tell you not his words

If you want my advise Hun tell him to go find a cliff and jump the '''' off.
You're better off without boys like that.
Just my humble opinion but then again, I'm not one for bulls--t.
Good luck with your future, you sound level headed and you deserve better.

Well...had a quite in depth text convoy ....
He told me that he was sorry, and that he doesn't think he is ready to have a full time girlfriend....
Then, just now...
I noticed he has viewed MY profile quite a bit in the last little while.....
So in "stealth mode" I went to see what the heck was up....
Freaking CHILD has changed up his profile, added pics, and all that jazz......

I agree with the posts of him only wanting sex! Playing mind games, and immaturity....

I DEFINITELY don't want nor need that in my life!!!
I am WORTH SOOOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!!!

About the blocking him thing.....how can I do that without having any messages stored here anymore ?

"im not ready for a full time gf"=often means I have more tha one girl im sleeping with. .....