My ex took the kids and broke into my house on Friday to get the kids
beds and everything else she wanted from the house. So I will not be on
much if any for a while. The computer was one of the things she left,
but I am moving out thanks to her damaging the home so I am being
evicted. Wish me luck.

honeyrobber,
That is so awful. I am so sorry. Good luck with everything.
PMS

sorry about that man
good luck, and keep your head up

hope everything works out for you


morena

sorry bro I always stayed one step ahead of my ex she left our marriage
with three trash bags of clothes no wait i threw those in the dumpster
at my complex when she didn't come home for three days, I took our kid
everything in the house, and both cars :] gotta know who your with and
what your dealin with... as of now she has supervised visitation and
pays me child support:]

Fuck that Bitch homie!!!

dude i'm sorry but i have to post again: my dad told when i was about
14 that I should never rely on someonelse and to never leave myself open
to let anyone take anything I care about away from me; I'll remember it
for the rest of my life maybe it will help you out the next time
around... keep your chin up!!

Ahhhhh NO WAY!!!! You're KIDDING!! You know what, my guitar player in
my band, well, not FULL band but, him and I are in the process of making
things happen, his wife left him yesterday and took the kid, all her
things and even the dog. I'm surprised she didn't take the ice cube
trays out of the freezer!! Honeyrobber, I'm SO sorry, I wish there was
something I could do for you!!! You'll be in my prayers BIG TIME!!!
Dude, man, see. Why do women get like this!! A LOT of them get away
with it and the guy gets punished!! No I'm not bashing on every girl
but, a lot of them do it because they know they can!!! NOTHING happens
to women....NOTHING.... It's NOT right man!! I know there's going to
be some women coming on here getting pissed about my comment but, I've
seen NOTHING but, what I've said!! In my hometown, it happens ALL the
time!! My friend got into a verbal argument with his wife and she beat
the shit out of him and you know what? He went to f@#king JAIL!! I'm
NOT kidding!!! It's BULLS@#T MAN!! I'm SO sorry honey.....I'm SO
sorry!!!!

Hey man,I hope things get better for you/Not all men have been f*ked
over the same..but a peaceful break-up is often impossable/ My wife
moved out and after a few days she waited until I was away from home and
sent her new boyfriend in to completely wipe me out/when I returned
there was nothing but a couch,a bed and a refrigerator/thats
it.....pictures off the wall/music/cds/band equipment/entertainment
crap/odds n ends/furniture/tools/clothes/food.........gone everything
was gone/and the worse thing of all that fat ugly bit& still walks
around like she did nothing wrong/this happened in the middle of the
Fu*kn winter/ I hope you gain the strength to never need her
again........besides you've got friends!

JT

hey man i know what you mean i had the samething happen to me a year and
a half ago

It happens to women, too, guys. My ex used my kids as an excuse to have
alone time in my house to take the valuables. I left the house so he and
my kids could spend quality time together, and by the time I got back,
his vehicle was filled to the brim and he left two children
wondering....I don't think it is one sex screwing over the other....I
just think it's good natured, trusting people who often end up with a
self-centered user.

true but it still hurts when you come home to find that they where there
and clened you out rite

Hurts when you find out ONE of the broads they're screwing behind your
back is one of your best friends of the past 24 years! What REALLY hurts
is when you find out ALL the shit he's done, and you realize his affair
w/ your dear friend is the very least of it!

Like the song says "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do" but the after effects
are even harder. No one sex is worse than the other, men do the exact
same thing and women do it to. Its not a gender issue, more a human
issue. Immature ,self centered, spiteful, mean spirited people are the
ones who do this type of thing. All you can do is pick your self up and
move on with your life, those were just objects, material things, sure
its going to take money and time to get them back but think about this
would you rather them take your things than take your life?? I'd rather
have to replace material objects than have t have my son go through life
with out his mom. JMO..

HoneyRobber, JT,SugrB, TallnTanned & lily I am sorry you all had to
experience this but please be glad you made it through it alive.
HoneyRobber a bit of advice..get your butt to family court and files
some papers on this, if you have custody then she has violated the
orders and legally kidnapped the kids. Protect yourself and the kids,
get your butt into family court asap.

We had a writen agreement which was signed and no court papers. The
lawyer we had talked to(as we agreed to keep things civil and work out
the issues ourselves) said it would hold up in court. Even the county
officers said it would hold up but it was one of the things she took
from my home. So all important papers need a person you trust to hold a
copy.

Women to have it easier than men according to the law. Sorry ladies but
it is the truth. My ex had a nervous break down about 2 1/2 years ago.
When she snapped she started punching me in my lower back where I had
back surgery and where there is still alot of nerve damage. I got turned
around and pushed with both hands on her chest. She ended up falling and
bruising her knee. I spend the night in jail and in court the settlement
was we both had to attend counciling and anger management. Yet I am the
only one with a record of violence as the law refused to let me press
charges on her.

As to what happened to me, yes, both sexes do it. The girl I am seeing
now went to her mom's one day and came back to find an empty apartment.
It is not right for either sex to do it. My problem was I did not take
my brother's advice and go cut throat from the beginning. I wanted to be
a nicer person than he has been to his exs. Also the childrens mother
laid everything out in a writen agreement. It was all settled except the
child support. We even had visitation drawn up for each holiday and
birthday. So what she did was to get out of that agreement as she later
did not like a clause I put into the agreement about no
girlfriends/boyfriends aloud to be around the children until marriage. I
realize now it was miss worded but this was part of the agreement we
drew up about 2 years before she left this time when we talked about
divorcing. With the ex being with a lesbian there was no way for her to
marry and therefore no way she could keep the kids at her home. How the
clause is miss worded is it does not allow the boy/girlfriend to meet
and spend time with the kids before marriage to see if they can get
along. It needs to be worded more about the boy/girlfriend spending the
night and no sexual relations with them while kids are present. But with
the ex being a lesbian this would still be against her.

This was all such a shock is what is so bad about it. 2 weeks ago the
ex's girlfriends car broke down in Nashville(75 miles one way). They
could not get anyone to come get them and they had less than $20 between
them. I went and got them and took them home. I did alot of other things
over the last few months to help her even though I was not getting help
with the kids. Thursday while my daughter was having surgery the ex and
I talked about her staying here with the kids Saturday night as I had a
date planned. We set up a time for her to come see the kids on Friday
and she said we would talk more about Saturday. She acted so cool and
friendly like normal. I did not make a scene about her girlfriend being
there or anything to upset her. From the things that were done I know
she had been planning this for sometime.

This is hard to do. I can not say much as she has joined this site. I
have had to change several items. It is hard to be so vague about things
that have happened and what you know. Another rule of divorce KEEP YOUR
MOUTH SHUT!.

So for those starting this process or those getting married for the
first time. Strike quickly(file first if possible) and hard but yet do
not strip the house of belongings(you must leave the other person items
to live with or it goes against you in court). Keep quiet and try to
keep all loud mouths in your family from knowing anything(my mother will
not lie and does not know how to say I can't tell you). The ex has
simular people and that is how I already know alot of things I a sure
she did not want me to know. The next rule is hard to grasp for many. Be
overly kind to your ex. My brother had to pay the utilities where his
wife was living(their house) for 6 months as the trailer was in her mom
and dad's name he had to move out with the kids. I have went out of my
way to do things for the ex. Like the example above where their car
broke down. That will help me when we go to court as it shows no ill
will on my part toward her.

Computer is being took down and moved today.

BTW ex if you do read this thanks for leaving the files on the
computer. You may have gotten the lock box with the files saved to disc
but you left all I needed.

Well I do feel for you, that is not right. Humm is something wrong with
me heck caught my ex cheating I split the cash we had saved sold the
house he got half and he got all his personal stuff he wanted out and
what ever he had before we got married with the options to see the kids
whenever he wanted too. After 11 years of marriage. And I actually
still talk to him when I go to his moms which is quiet often due to my
ex=mother in law is like my own mother to me. lmao that lucky ass. lol
But will admit took me many years to be able to talk to him normal even
after letting him have the stuff for I don't believe on taking the shirt
off there back well unless now they give it too me lol. Good luck
honeyrobber.

TXgal, That was our plan but more of the stuff was concidered kids
property. Due to my back injury we did not have much left of any value.
The 3 things the ex took that pissed me off was the lock box, dvd/vcr
combo still in box(purchased Tues took on friday), and my $100 in cash I
had in my drawer set aside for rent. Her taking her couch which I told
her had to be moved on Thursday as I got another one and chair given to
me, and her taking the kids stuff was not the issue as she took the
kids. She took some food items as well but that could be argued it was
for the children. We had divided everything already on paper even though
she had not moved alot of her stuff out. I still have her corner shelf
unit sitting here full of figurines and her 2 stuffed rabbits(kind of in
hopes she reads this line). I think she ran out of time or space in the
Uhaul as there are many other items which I thought she would have took
including this computer.

OMG, I am sooooo sorry Dude.

I feel so helpless. You will be in my prayers. At least she left you
with a computer so you could at least have a great support crowd. And I
am certain most of us have been there.

honeyrobber,

You've always struck me as kind and level headed. Unfortunately, bad
things happen to good people. Why? Because people mistake our
kindnesses for stupidity.

I am genuinely sorry that you came home to find your children missing.
"Things" can be replaced, but you must be beside yourself wondering how
your "kiddos" are, and you must miss them terribly.

There must be family or friends that know your life situation and can
testify on your behalf that she left the children with you to begin
with. She felt comfortable leaving them there (which says alot for your
character), and she can't successfully petition a court and claim you're
an unfit father now...because she would look like a bad mother for
bailing out and leaving them to start with. Know that that is in your
favor, Hon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

honeyrobber said: "...We had a writen agreement which was signed and
no court papers. The lawyer we had talked to (as we agreed to keep
things civil and work out the issues ourselves) said it would hold up in
court. Even the county officers said it would hold up but it was one of
the things she took from my home. So all important papers need a person
you trust to hold a copy..."

** If that lawyer was worth his salt, he will have made a copy of the
agreement and will have it on file in his office. If he was a truly
competent attorney, he will have had the document notarized and filed it
with your county. Check with the lawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

trying_to_fly said: "...Why do women get like this!! A LOT of them get
away with it and the guy gets punished!! No I'm not bashing on every
girl but, a lot of them do it because they know they can!!! NOTHING
happens to women....NOTHING.... It's NOT right man!! I know there's
going to be some women coming on here getting pissed about my comment
but, I've seen NOTHING but, what I've said!! In my hometown, it happens
ALL the time!! My friend got into a verbal argument with his wife and
she beat
the shit out of him and you know what? He went to f@#king JAIL!! ..."

** I am not pissed of at a thing you said, but you probably are only
hearing mens' sides of these issues because you talk with men more than
women about this type of situation. I personally have seen firsthand
where women have been compelled to leave successful careers to raise
children while the husband got more and more involved in his work (or
with other women) and became more emotionally unavailable to the wives.
The men have made all the money, kept control of the money and then
found another woman. They used their money and social standing to
influence attorneys and judges into taking children from these women and
left them with no way to support themselves...after they insisted the
wives stay home and not work. These situations happen to BOTH SEXES, so
men don't always get the raw end of the deal. My best friend raised 3
children and after 30 years of being a housewife, her successful husband
divorced her (to marry another woman) and she had to live on only
$300./month. She couldn't even pay her utilities with that, my friend.
She had to work at a minimum wage job to eat, and died 3 years later of
cancer that could have been diagnosed and treated if she'd had medical
insurance.

As far as your friend getting arrested after his woman beat on
him...everyone knows that "The one that gets to the Magistrate's window
FIRST gets the warrant!"

In any case where there is physical violence, no matter how slight, call
the police and make a report! This is the best way to protect yourself
in case the other party decides to "do you dirty" later.

Your right Robber.

The cards are stacked against you by the law. Because you are male. Some
guy deserve to get it up the ass. But some guy's are realy trying to get
along. You unfortuneately got with a real winner. The law is twisted in
soo many ways, including as far as race.

I probably missed this ,Robber, but had you two filed for divorce prior
to her burglarizing your home? In my state she could be in a great deal
of trouble if the preceding is the case. Have you considered mediation?
Chances are, she is in a hurry to get on with her new life, so she may
be willing to negotiate through the mediator as opposed to stalling the
divorce proceedings. I think you are on the right track in your views;
filing first.....keeping peace.....watching who you confide in...I had
the same experiences. Everyone chooses sides, even if they say they
don't.