My daughter is 19, met this guy at college...she said 'hey' to him and he gave her his number. I noticed he always wore sunglasses, even inside. My daughter had an abusive father. She doesn't trust and she hates liars.Yesterday this guy is telling me that he 'wants to take care of our whole family' It's just me and my girls. I thought he was nice, but there's always that trust issue after all we've been thru. This guy knew that my daughter didn't like liars and he said that he would never hurt her. He said he lived with his brother, who is a cop.Today, he acted strange at school, not meeting her after school like always, hugging her lunch time, then saying'here comes my X, I gotta run' instead of being proud of my daughter.He's been calling her cell constantly....until I called his "house" phone to talk to his brother ONLY to find out that I was calling a group home for druggies and alcoholics. This kid is 17. Now my daughter can't trust him and it would have been better if he had just told her the truth. She would have never judged him on that.Please let us know what we should do. I say once a liar, always a liar.Any help would be appreciated and please no sarcastic remarks. My girls and I have been thru hell. We have no family. We're just asking advice. Thank You.

Sunglasses inside isn't quite right...I'm thinking he's probably still using..Have her cut her losses and move on..

I think Sadie's right. The sunglasses thing...... and the sudden change in behavior.

been through going with shady guys myself. id say that for the safty of her heart id keep her away from him.

I agree with Sadie...I wouldn't want her to see him anymore. What makes you think she could ever trust him again. What made him LIE to her in the first place???

If necessary, file a
protection order
against this guy so he
doesn't come around
your daughter.

Then, let your daughter
know that although there
are creeps in this world,
there are still a lot of
nice men who respect women.

she deserves exactly what she wants, dont let her settle for a guy she has to wonder about. the guessing game is the cruelest thing. tell her not to be afraid to stand up for herself and what your family believes.. you dont need anymore liars!

Do you want your daughter around a drug abuser & a liar? You know what you need to do.

DROP THE DRUGGiE.. HE'LL KEER ON LYiNG..

It's all about positive reinforsment. Tell her she has a good head on her shoulders and you and your family will always be there for her. Then have a conversation where she can rationally explain what he did good for her which sounds like nothing and then ask her what he did bad for her she can then make a smart decission that will easily figured herself.
The bottom line it has to be her decission otherwise it may become sneaking behind your back and something bad may happen like her getting caught up in his lifestyle

It's all about positive reinforsment. Tell her she has a good head on her shoulders and you and your family will always be there for her. Then have a conversation where she can rationally explain what he did good for her which sounds like nothing and then ask her what he did bad for her she can then make a smart decission that will easily figured herself.
The bottom line it has to be her decission otherwise it may become sneaking behind your back and something bad may happen like her getting caught up in his lifestyle

That is your daughter. Just as others posted...you will know what to do in your heart.

Im NOT one for second chances, but,
He could have told her a lie about where he lives, because he is ashamed to speak his truth?
Anyone can have a first time bust and be where he's at?
And MOST kids are into SOMETHING at 16 through 20, NOT ALL, but ALOT, so, to drop him,,she might find worst as far as drugs go..

Now if it was me, WE I AND HIM, would have to have a TRUE TALK about why he's living there, why he lied, if he has had ALOT of problems with substance abuse, or his first time, AND DOUBLE CHECK ALL OF HIS ANSWERS, as HE has lied once already.
Its all in what you THINK HE could be BS, or USER, or a POSSIBLE GOOD GUY?????? GOOD LUCK...

I also would be doing some checking on my daughter as to HE could have got HER into his problem??
And its always good to KNOW what she has tried and what are her friends around to have habits with...
I raised THREE, so been here a few times my self..lol

Run...

I've been with 'that guy' before. Tell her that it only gets worse from here. If she stays he WILL hurt her emotionally and probably eventually physically.

Well, we just got THE TRUTH out of the kid.....he raped an 11 year old girl when he was 13. H E LL P!!! And my daughter is a good girl with a good head on her shoulders, no drugs, nothing like that. Working hard to be the best Photographer that she can be. But what do you think of this guy now??? He's in DSS custody.

run its not just the lies but the drugs and what comes with them deadly hep,c hep b, and if he is cheating on here
unprotected no doubt with other druggies aids the list is long

You are asking answers here lady. Run far away into like next week from him.
rrr

I have to agree with everyone. Unfortunately, the situation sounds off, maybe he is just a nice kid trying to get his life together, but then again, maybe not. I think you're gut is telling you all what you need to know. We all need to listen to our instincts more, it would save a lot of trouble.

Help your 19 year old daughter?
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