��Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
~ Albert Einstein

But if women marry men with the hope that they will change, then they must not fall in love. Why would they want to change something they already love?

Because falling in love / being in love is basically a projection, meaning we often see what we want and need to see, which is not 100% realistic. (Works both ways by the way, both men and women project)
If it really interests you, read some psychology about this ( Jung)

As young girls we are taught morals, values and etiquette by our Family's value system. Boys are usually taught some but not held accountable as much as girls. Boys are taught manners. Please, thank you, holding doors, carrying things, being helpful and doing the heavy chores. I think we have this notion that our partner, children, friends, etc. should have those values as well. This is where things can get ugly when you mix different value systems. Some are like oil and water. Our partner is somewhat a reflection of ourselves just as the type of company you keep such as friends.

Women are complex to say the least. We all do things differently. Women want to improve the closeness of the relationship. Be your #1. Want to know that the man is considering her in decisions he makes. She wants to feel like no matter what happens your still going to be standing there beside her helping develop a solution or just giving her a hug telling her its going to be okay. She wants to trust you without any doubts in every aspect of the union.

She wants to improve the rough edges that men sometimes have. (women have them too trust me)
Some things the smallest of things to someone else could be so major to to another to be a deal breaker even if overall life is good with everything else. Some things are annoying, aggravating, overlooked or she hopes to change or improve it. Mostly its a persons own interpretation that causes all the problems.

crystal-you are very wise-great answer-

lol, good question

I think people fall 'in love' with what they fall 'in love' with, but many don't grasp that humans evolve based upon needs and experiences,, we are not identical today to what we were even yesterday

some cant handle that gradual change, some expect HUGE change,, I think both are unrealistic,,,

Hiya Sparkyae :)

well there is generally a double standard where men think it's ok to let themselves go after a few years but expect that women will not

there is also the unrealistic expectations of youth, that someone is not going to change, or IS going to change...whichever. Most people do mature and grow. It may not change their basic personality but their habits and interests may change. sometimes they grow apart because of that...like when one of the partners cannot outgrow the frat party mentality even tho they are now 35...lol, one partner starts a hobby that keeps them preoccupied and less available (just an example)

If you are trying to change the person you are with it is not love it is just trying to make bearable what is available. Too many times people have very little available to them.

Example; military guys have a minimum number of women available to them and so they fall in lust with a stripper or some such "fallen angel" and then are shocked when she upgrades to an officer or a local businessman when she gets a chance. Has little to do with love but a lot to do with availability.

"Buried into all of us is what Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes refers to as ��the one who knows the instinctive, intuitive nature. This, she teaches, is the source of creativity and understanding that lies out of sight in darkness, often called the unconscious."

IMO, If,we are not in practice of exercising our intuitive nature, things we see in our partners we would like to see changed, could be reflections of something that 'intuition' is attempting to show us, about ourselves, we'd like to change.

Addedly,if we rely on our KNOWER instead of our emotional reactions to the stimuli of the scent physical attraction exudes, we can make taking time to really get to know someone a priority.



That's in theory, of course.

Me, I jump at the scent of a woman and tell my intuitive nature to back off!

I do not think so. Right now I am looking for a loose woman but once I get her I will get her up the duff and then keep her locked up. Then I will have myself a chef, a housemaid, a babysitter and a woman for sex.

The kind of woman that you're looking for isn't loose.
Instead, she is insane, because what sane woman would want to ... Oh, never mind.

Dodo David. She will be madly in love with me. Being in love is like being insane... so they say.

loose women don't fall in love....and generally they do not do housework

Sweetest Girl. That is because most men are not worth falling in love with. But whenever I throw myself into the fray, they can't help themselves. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

I agree. If you fell in love with this person for who they are; why change them? I have that problem with guys who try to change me which is why my relationships never worked out. I am not changing who I am or how I look just to appease someone.

Perhaps the woman of your dreams resides in Arkham Asylum.

Who am I kidding. Nobody loves me really.