Hi everyone.
I met somebody in my city and we aeem to have the possibility of something good. However, San Diego which is 9 hours away seems to be calling to him. even though he has his ex and kids over there, when I met him over here, he was settling in this area. I dont want to be an obstacle for him being a good daddy. He wants me to move out there, but I also have a mom over here who needs me. any ideas please?

I don't really know much about the situation, but I have always found that talking about your troubles with your partner (or potential one) to be the most effective way to get your feelings through to them. I'm no love doctor, but try it. If he isn't willing to listen to you, then the relationship would never work. Plus, you may be able to come to an agreement. Sort of like meeting each other at the half-way marker and you may find that things will work out favorable for both of you!
Hope this helps some, and good luck!

Thank you for your reply. I hope we can talk without him thinking its all one sided. I know that if we can build the relationship, he can be happy here because we would have room in our life for his daughters too.

^^^ This.

As with any relationship, but especially one that may involve distance, communication is so important! We can't account for how he'd react, so I can't really offer you more advice than that. Maybe he just needs to hear that you want and value him in your life for him to make room for you also.

Best of luck!

You don't mention how long you have known the guy, so it is a difficult to say because there is a big difference between a few months and a few years in how well you know a person. Is he divorced or separated? There are lots more details which you cannot always put in to your post because of space, privacy, etc.
If you are going to consider such big changes in your life such as relocation, with or without your mom, you need to think about marriage in my opinion, and before you relocate, if that isn't on offer for whatever reason don't go. There is a need for a big commitment on both sides in my opinion. Good luck to you both.

I don't think there's anything pushy about wanting clarity. He wants you to move to a place 9 hours away from your current home!
If it's that serious between the two of you, I think you're beyond walking on eggshells and being concerned about being pushy. I mean, he asked you to move!!
So talk to him. Now you're guessing, you need to know (facts). Communication is very important.
And when you do know facts, you can start making decisions.
Also think about your own side of things: family is important, sure. But would you (or your mom) want you to give up on happiness because you're 9 hours apart? Can you live with seeing your mom once a month or every other month? What is more important to you? Are you willing and able to compromise there or not?
Important to know, for yourself.

Good luck!

IMO you two need to talk about EVERYTHING before anyone moves anywhere and have no questions by the time the moving truck comes. You might find stuff out that makes you question each other. If there is any doubt about what you're getting into then there is no doubt that you shouldn't do it. Good luck with your choice.

personally, I would not move unless I felt it was in my best interests regardless of my feelings for someone and in your situation, I would be considering that he is planning to move closer to his ex. It is probably because of the children, but I'd want to be sure of that.

Are you both ready to put each other first - considering your mom and his kids - is there room in your lives for each other? How do you feel about moving? Unless I was planning or thinking about a move anyway, I would not do it.

I would like to thank everybody for taking the time to reply and for your good wishes. You have given me some things to consider and a starting point for this conversation. I agree with all who emphasize the importance of communication. Once again, thank you for some sound advice.

The keyword here is clearly, communication....