What are your thoughts?
An example, let's say an old friend of yours tells you they have been dating a few months, and their date has recently become more serious and suggested they see more of each other because of how well they get on together. Your friend confides in you that they like their date very much and want to know what you think they should do, even though you have never met their date.

Would you say to them, liking is not loving, and suggest they let their date down gently and look for someone else.
Or
Would you tell them to say no to more dates and to continue as they are, at the risk of their date ending it to find someone more seriously minded.
Or
Would you tell them, that if they liked their date very much to take the next step, because these things always turn to love.

What are your thoughts and what advice would you give your friend, if any?

Liking doesn't always turn to love. It's possible, but it doesn't. There are also different degrees of liking. I think it's important to know yourself and how you feel. If it's a platonic kind of like, then best to let your date down gently. If it's the kind of like that makes you want to spend more time with them, then it's worth seeing where it leads.

You can't just use a term and expect it will translate to all scenarios. Ultimately, the choice should fall with the person who's dating. You can't, and shouldn't, attempt to make that decision for them. Only they know how they feel and who they may potentially be interested in.

In my opinion though, if they don't know after a few months if their feelings are more serious, I'd be concerned. I usually know after a few weeks (or 2-3 dates) if it's something I want to stick with. Not necessarily love at that point, but certainly if I see it as more than friendship. Love develops at different rates for different people, but within a few months I think you should know if it's something you want and someone you have strong feelings for. If you don't feel that "spark", best to let that person go.

Hope that helps.

I believe you have described this very accurately, most of all that it is not up to us to suggest to someone else whether or not they should or should not see the person in the future. The decision, ultimately remains with the person himself/herself.

I don't ever give friends advice on love. But I listen and I tell them when I'm concerned. Like does not always turn into love, after 3 months you can really like a person then find out who and what they really are like.

I would tell them to choose happiness and not worry about what others think.

that's a good point too. I have not continued date even though I liked the person because I did not want to give the impression that it was going anywhere. in those cases happiness for me was to stop datng them.

I agree with all this! I don't give advice to my friends on love either. They're going to do what they want anyways. I'm just an ear to listen, a voice to cheer when things go good and a hand holding the ice cream and spoon when things go bad!
Unless I see things are dangerous then I'm holding my Louisville Slugger!

Thanks everyone for your posted replies.

The friend would of course make their own decision, they just wanted your thoughts on the issue as an old friend.
I think it is true to say, that to love someone you must like them, but you can like someone without loving them in the romantic sense.
The term "liking" although not completely unconnected, is distinct from the term "love" in my opinion.
After a few months you know whether you like someone, but I cannot really see different degrees of liking? In my mind you either like someone or you don't, and to move forward from liking someone in a dating situation then this is changing to love in my opinion.

My advice would be to let them down gently and look for someone else, if my friend felt no more than a liking for the person, and that person wanted something more serious, it is time to part company because liking does not always turn to love. just my opinion.

Not really enough information here to go on I think.

Are they sleeping together?
What do you mean by, "getting more serious?"

This is a whole different world to me; this dating for months as just being friends. I don't know anybody that does that.

Anyway, I've found myself in situations with women that I've dated and like I said to my last girlfriend, "I really like you but I'm not sure about you". In these situations I'm just prepared to see how it goes and that's what I would say to a friend in the same position. "If you like her, then why not just see how it goes?"

If she's becoming more demanding and wants to see you more often or something it's really up to you how you feel about that. If you're looking for different things though it probably isn't going to work.

I'd probably tell them the same thing they would tell me. U.B.J Use best judgement.

I would tell my friend this, "The fact that you are asking is the answer to your question."...

Sorry, I was deliberately keeping the example vague for simplicity.
Looking at the question of whether or not to enter in to a more serious relationship, a monogamous one of courtship, moving from only liking someone in a dating only relationship, because their date wants a serious commitment from them, possibly engagement.

Would you say to them, liking is not loving, and suggest they let their date down gently and look for someone else.
Or
Would you tell them to say no to more dates and to continue as they are, at the risk of their date ending it to find someone more seriously minded.
Or
Would you tell them, that if they liked their date very much to take the next step, because these things always turn to love.

What are your thoughts and what advice would you give your friend, if any?

My personal thoughts about it are that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Like I said, if it was me I would just see how it goes and would tell a friend to do the same.

You are asking about more dates though and monogamy. It's just so hard to answer a question like that without knowing more about the people involved. It's more like you are asking about my personal values and I guess what I would say to this friend that I would do in his or her situation. Well, it's just in my character to be a one woman sort of guy and to try to work at relationships. I've seen this from both sides because I've had girlfriends that were always demanding more time from me and other ones that I wanted to see more often when they were just keeping it quite casual and not giving me as much time as I wanted.

To any friend of mine I would just say that if he likes her then not to blow it. If she wants to get more serious and he isn't sure about that I would just give him the standard response that all of the guys that I know come out with when we talk about women and what they are like; "That's just women mate". They're complicated and if you can't be doing with that then just tell her that you like her but it's getting too serious and she has to cool it a bit.

Both people should stop playing the guessing game and state what they want from the relationship. Do they both want it to go further into an engagement or exclusive dating (going steady) and possibly marriage or not?

Is one simply pushing for a more intimate exclusive relationship? Is the other prepared for that?

In the end, if one is not ready for that, they should say no or break it off.

once your in the friend zone its impossible to get out--

Friend zone Hah! Frankly I don't believe in it.

I don't understand the question, if your friend likes his date, and his date likes him, what is the problem? Why can't they continue to see each other and see how it works out? I agree that "like" doesn't always turn to love, in many cases, it can turn to hate, but sometimes it does turn to love. I'd wish my friend good luck and leave it at that.

That too. I think the issue is that one person wants to go to the next step... what ever the next step is.

Oh. Well, in that case, I don't know. If one person feels something and the other doesn't, there's nothing you can do but end it. Otherwise, it becomes awkward.

This hits pretty close to home for me.

For about two years I had been dating someone I like but really didn't see myself quite a match with.

I thought it might just be stress and avoiding a relationship because I was grieving the impending then actual death of a parent and did not want to put any more on my emotional plate than I could handle.

The companionship was amicable and I enjoyed reciprocating the attention at the friends level. I did not make promises or take advantage of the dating situation. I see us continuing to be friends but more distant.

It was no hidden agenda that it kept me, and him, "safely" out of the sometimes arduous work of dating to actually find a match that will hopefully bring to our lives the relationship we have said we wanted.

Luckily for me a dear friend did not attack my choice of companion but gently nudged me to look for someone who would give me some of the traits I had said I wanted that were kind of remote with the person I was dating. Little things that I had tended to excuse as the comfortable known seemed easier than the uncomfortable unknown. It is easy to slip into the path of least resistence.

It was a lot easier to decline the next invitations; especially here at the holidays that they have offered fellowship and encouragement to keep trying.