I just dont get it. I have been with my man over a year, everything was going fantastic. We were even talking a little about getting married. He suddenly springs on me that he has no time he's so busy he has to be alone for awhile. His child and step- children from his ex wife are suddenly moving in with him and that complicates things so hes cutting off our relationship completely. I have never come between his children nor will I ever. I just dont get it he sends me fb messages and signs them I Love You.

I have a feeling somethings been brewing for a while.

Care to explain more?

Obviously something has been brewing. But wtf what kind of man does that?

I'm just flabbergasted lol

His exs kids moving in.
Is the ex moving in also?

Your profile says you're a single mom with three half grown kids who has never been married...You say in your OP he is a dad with one biological and step-children from a previous marriage who are now moving in with him (which sounds kind of strange by the way) so maybe when the two of you started talking "a little" about marriage, the thought of taking on three more children scared him....What ever the reason, if you love him and want him back, you should be asking him for a more definitive explanation...Sounds like he is in a pretty overwhelming situation to me...Maybe he just needs some time to figure things out....By the way, since you didn't bother to mention it, do you love him?...

I have found to my great sorrow that when love ends for one the other usually still has love.


Good luck.

Some men are just not into marriage, so a woman who's goal is marriage should state that upfront, before getting involved in being his girlfriend. If a man is Inlove, he will want to make a real Committment. Imo

Ty Leigh:
Yes I love him very much and I thought he did me. He is the one who started talking marriage. I actually avoided it then realized I would marry him. We are two counties away and do have slight problems with schedules. We werent talking marriage immediately but for the future.

Ty Hippie:
Yes just sucks when I keep ending down the same road.

Ty Toody:

I didnt rush anything. He started it.lol

always the man's fault...lol

Hate to sound like a shrink.
Your answered one question with the down the same road statement.

The common denominator is 'you'.

When you realize what It is about you that attracts guys like him, you can change that.

Unfortunately, that takes time and a professional to do.

It's not your fault, baby girl. It's a curable defect. We all have some sort of defect. I have plenty. Want some of mine?

YW Dawn ...I'm sorry for your heartache, maybe in time it will all work out?...And hey, in the meantime, you picked a fun place to hang out! ...Welcome to Mingle!

Hi Dawn,

The same sort of thing has just happened to me, and I am truly sad, yet not surprised since he behaved this way before...a bit of a story. Very, very sorry to hear about yours. I'm trying to determine whether it's a man-cave thing or a true abandonment, but in any case, I'm also telling myself that this sort of behavior is not for me! I can't take it, too painful, very, very inconsiderate, immature and shows a real lack of ability to communicate. Do I want someone like that? Is it reasonable to hope that someone who could break off a really fine relationship without warning is capable of building a good future with a woman?

My case is the opposite of yours...this man's daughter has just left home and he's decided to completely turn the page on his "old" life. In both cases though, the men seem as if they are overwhelmed and cannot allow sharing with the women whom they know intimately. But why?

Yes, always, lol

I would probably tell him he doesn't get to send me messages telling me he loves me if he doesn't care enough to level with me and explain the reasons behind his hurtful actions.

But that's just me.

agreed - set some boundaries - he is behaving a little erratically which may be a function of stress but I don;t think he should be able to have it both ways.

you didn't say as far as I remember, anything about where the ex is...is there a chance they are getting back together?

Ty JdSync:
Yes I do agree with you ..and I wish I knew why. As of last night he blah blah blah'd me to death with Im sorry, I need time. His kids need him fulltime into their life. I totally understand that. ..even though that was never an issue before. Ive met them and everything was cool,at least I thought. I wasnt living there, shesshhh we seen each other maybe every two weeks because of our work schedules. Not like I took up any of their time. Still and all he could have done things differantly with me...instead of surprise we're done, even though last week I loved you.