Should women pursue men?: A single Christian guy's perspective
Relationships

March 28, 2010 By: Chrystal Knight SubscribeTweet1

A single Christian man speaks out about women pursuing men.

In a previous article, John, a 33-year-old Metro Detroit firefighter in training, spoke out about living the single Christian life. One of his answers generated quite a discussion, so John is back to elaborate a little more on a topic thats bound to stir up further discussion: Is it okay for a woman to go after a man she wants?

Q: How would you feel if a woman who is attracted to you, approached you first and asked you out on a date?


John: Truthfully, I would feel flattered but not interested in going out with her.

Q: Why wouldn't you want to go out with her?

John: For me, a woman asking me out takes the pursuit out of the experience. I think a woman should be sort of unattainable. When she's unattainable it does that thing inside of a man and makes him hungry for her. But if she comes up to him, chances are the attraction won't last.

Q: Some people argue that your way of thinking is old fashioned and women of today are more assertive and independent.


John: I'd say to them...you do it your way and I'll do it God's way and we'll see whose relationship lasts longer.


Q: What biblical evidence do you have that makes you believe that's God's way?


John: Well, God made man first then he made woman. Thus starts the order of man pursuing a woman. God presented Eve to Adam, she did not present herself. Then you have the story of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob loved Rachel and he wanted her so much, he worked 14 years just to get her. This is the proper order. A man saw the woman he wanted and he worked to prove himself worthy of being her husband. This is the way life should be.

Q: Why do you think so many women think it's good to pursue a man?


John: Because of movies, television and things of this world that portray things out of the order of God. Magazine articles telling women to dress a certain way and act a certain way to get a man. All of these things make a woman naturally attractive instead of supernaturally attractive.

Q: What do you mean by supernaturally attractive?

John: A woman is supernaturally attractive if she spends quality time with the Lord. She will exude God's character and all of the qualities that will attract the man that her heart truly desires.

Q: There will be single Christian ladies reading this article who are praying for a husband. What advice would you give them?


John: Seek the Lord, seek the Lord and seek the Lord!!! Any secret sins in your life, let them go. Get before the Lord and have Him search you out. Get your spiritual house in order first -- and prepare yourself to be a wife.









www.Examiner.com

lovely advice

advice is not for everyone, but for christians,, it is good advice

imho

I agree!

Wow, John sure does have a way of taking Bible verses out of context. The Bible doesn't say that it is wrong for a woman to pursue a man for dating or marriage.

the bible doesn't say anything about 'dating' at all actually

but I do understand his reasoning for 'the design' of things,,,,

What Bible verses did John take out of contexr?

Does the Bible say a woman should pursue a man?

You are correct, the Bible does not say anything about 'dating'. not that I have read.

Many Christian men look to women to contact them. I dated a Christian man, who rarely took the initiative to ask me out. We went on great dates and became friends. Was he interested in me? Yes, he asked me to marry him. I felt the man should be more forward.

Toodygirl5

Hello dear lady, how you doing? You were in my spirit all this week, tried to sent you a personal email just to check out on you, unfortunately I was blocked since I didn't meet your seaching criteria (being a male of a certain age group & your other requirements)

Nonetheless i'm glad to hear from you in the chatt room as always. Think i'm attached already (in a sisterly manner), can't say enough how much of a blassing you are to me.

Main subject:
This is a great topic that you've brought forth.
"Is is ok for a woman to persue a man that she's attracted to?"
I personaly think its a broad subject weither being looked at in a Christian manner or not, it really depends on individuals. I believe & acknowledge that God is a God of principles on how He'd rather have things done, though at times He rises higher than He's principles (not necessarily contradicting Himself though) hense in the book of Isaiah He says that "He's thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are He's ways our ways.

I'm assuming that He's telling us that He doesn't really have a formuler on how things must be constantly done. I may qoate erelevent verses that may not seem inline with the asked question, I hope it will all come together to the point i'm trying to express in the asked question.

Let's first look at the passage of Moses.
He did a great job (in our human eyes) when leading the children of Israel fron Egypt to the promise land, though over one simple mistake, he was compromised of the promise of God, hense Joshua was chosen to carry on leading Israel to Cannan.

God's word says "When we confess our sins, He's righteous enough to forgive us" that's somewhere in John. Hense He says. "If anyone claims not to have a sin, such accuses God of being a lier."

Then let's look at king David on the other hand:
David is the most sinfull through out the bible, (from my personal obsevation) yet God founded him being the only man closer to He's heart. He was forgiven countless times compared to Moses. NB I'm not implaying that God is unfair, by bringing those things up.

One more passage we can look at is the book of Ruth:
She fall inlove with Boaz when he didn't even know, she went as far as laying at he's feet when he was not aware that she was in the room. (now that one was a huge risk that she has taken) though in all worked out together for the glory of the Lord, since in Romans He says "all things work out for the Good of those who love God & called by He's name..."

By God prefering guys to persue us rather than us ladies persuing them is for our own protection. Emagen if Baoz wasn't as matured spiritually as he was when reading the book of Ruth?

That was quite a risk taken by Ruth, thank God she wasn't taken advantage of. INSTEAD their relationship worked out just fine cause both parties have taken their gender places (when Ruth layed at Baoz's feet, that was a sign of willingness to submit. Likewise when Baoz provided when she was about to leave in the morning, before being seein by anyone, that was a sign of willingness to provide as the man of the house)

With me personally, i'll be more concerned about both parties taking their places in marrieges, rather than who bothered to initiate, cause a lots of marriages in the boby of Christ are chaotic, protocall is misunderstood. Lattely brothers wanna be worked for, not the way God has intended it. It was Adam who was told that he shall eat from he's fruits of labor not Eve, when wemman are more of hard workers than guys these days.

Hope my long story makes a little sense.

Stay blessed dear!

Glad you mentioned the example of Ruth and Boaz.

She pursued him but in a submissive way.

Same as with Haddessa/Esther...
she was at the right place at the right time and made quite an impression on the Persian King Ahasuerus/Artaxerxes.

All the women of the harem beautified themselves hoping that they would be chosen as his bride,
including Esther, who won the beauty pagent.
She was chosen for her beauty and her grace. She became the new queen.

So sorry for spelling errors
Suppose I was tired when typing.

Sisygirl, thank you for your responses. I enjoy reading your Posts. It is nice to have discussions here rather than just posting Scripture. Most Christians do read and study the Bible. I liked how you talked about David and Ruth because I have read about them. And, Yes, God does not think as We do. And, God lead them in the direction that they went. Often times, We do not go in the directions God leads and We get offtrack of what God wants Us to do in life. I believe that if we follow God ways, we will not go astry. God left his Word..the Bible as a guide for us to follow. We do need to listen to God's voice leading Us, because sometimes what happens for One person in finding a mate, does not always work for another individual. Thank you for sharing your all of your responses.

No problem, You always write a good message. I am sure I make errors on here too. lol

You're most welcome dear,
And thank you for initiating such interesting subjects.

Of course a woman can ask a man out, a woman who is unnatainable makes him hungry, sounds like a psychotic stalker who must dominate women who reject him.

I have never had a problem letting a man know when I have a interest in him, however, I am not into asking the guy out for a real date. I have done this in the past with a Christian man but he was so slow I think I just got tired of playing along. Men are to take the inititive being that they are the "head". I am talking about Christian men. Most Non Christian men, think like the devil.