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| Topic: Are you for... or are you against? | |
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? your question is how this would influence us, but in the asking you have raised another issue and that is tensions during discussions. On the latter the answer is easy: I agree wit hthe poster who called for free speech in an atmosphere of mutual respect. To answer your question, I definitely think what we learn about each other can affect my willingness to be personally involved. I "play" a lot on here, as an example, and it would be hard for me to be intimately involved with someone so serious all the time that they never "play." And, referring back to the "rules of discussion" I pay attention to those who "bait" to try to start arguments, those who call names, and such and would not be personally involved with such. I also listen to avoid those on here who espouse anything demeaning toward women or a consistent negative attitude toward females. So yes attitudes behaviours and beliefs in here do influence whether I'd become personally involved. here, here, sweetest girl, your words get my pulse racing as I stand by them 110%... anyone who repeatedly speaks demeaning or negatively about or towards females is wasting their breath in my air space too... good for you...  
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? your question is how this would influence us, but in the asking you have raised another issue and that is tensions during discussions. On the latter the answer is easy: I agree wit hthe poster who called for free speech in an atmosphere of mutual respect. To answer your question, I definitely think what we learn about each other can affect my willingness to be personally involved. I "play" a lot on here, as an example, and it would be hard for me to be intimately involved with someone so serious all the time that they never "play." And, referring back to the "rules of discussion" I pay attention to those who "bait" to try to start arguments, those who call names, and such and would not be personally involved with such. I also listen to avoid those on here who espouse anything demeaning toward women or a consistent negative attitude toward females. So yes attitudes behaviours and beliefs in here do influence whether I'd become personally involved. Even though you were addressing someone else Sweet, I'd like to say I agree with you and add this...I also take note of the number of posts someone (anyone) has made and compare it to their start date... It gives me a "hint" about a couple of things that are important to me when choosing like minded friends... lIt tells me how much time they spend on the net and if they're talkers, listeners, or both...I've said this before, for me interacting on forums is the absolute best way to get to know other members and I am not sure I would even consider meeting a man I had not interacted with or at least "read" on the boards...
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I decided I am against being for. 
you can't stop there hippie.. c'mon now.. splain plzzz... 
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The reality of an unreal world. Yes, you do get to know different aspects of people by reading different posts about various topics. BUT, the subtle nuances of human intellect allow for mood, satire, ... even hunger, to influence short comments in such a way as to make the mix fluid. I have counted 12 different satire personalities I have shown on this site at different times for different reasons and only those who know me well are even aware that I am doing it. Most of what I write is satire, unless it is about science and then I go into lecture mode. In e-mail, I am just me and in some mingle topics I just comment without making a point. But on various topics I post to make a point ... not necessarily my point, but a point that I think needs to be made. In this case, Mingle2 is a literary window into one's soul. It is also a view into their fiction, non-fiction, and personal comic book. nice... I like this metalwing... so true too...
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? your question is how this would influence us, but in the asking you have raised another issue and that is tensions during discussions. On the latter the answer is easy: I agree wit hthe poster who called for free speech in an atmosphere of mutual respect. To answer your question, I definitely think what we learn about each other can affect my willingness to be personally involved. I "play" a lot on here, as an example, and it would be hard for me to be intimately involved with someone so serious all the time that they never "play." And, referring back to the "rules of discussion" I pay attention to those who "bait" to try to start arguments, those who call names, and such and would not be personally involved with such. I also listen to avoid those on here who espouse anything demeaning toward women or a consistent negative attitude toward females. So yes attitudes behaviours and beliefs in here do influence whether I'd become personally involved. Even though you were addressing someone else Sweet, I'd like to say I agree with you and add this...I also take note of the number of posts someone (anyone) has made and compare it to their start date... It gives me a "hint" about a couple of things that are important to me when choosing like minded friends... lIt tells me how much time they spend on the net and if they're talkers, listeners, or both...I've said this before, for me interacting on forums is the absolute best way to get to know other members and I am not sure I would even consider meeting a man I had not interacted with or at least "read" on the boards... I agree! I seldom talk long with anyone who messages that I do not know from the boards....I'm looking at the trend where a man who wants a realtionship vs casual sex is going to put in the time to make a few friends/mistakes/jokes/etc on here. So I agree. I like this part a lot... "a man who wants a relationship vs casual sex is going to put in the time to make a few friends/mistakes/jokes... on here... excellent point... |
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I decided I am against being for. I was for it,before I was against it! No,somethings you read on a Forum,you definitely have to take with a Grain of Salt,or maybe even more! oh no, another ... you two and your secret codes...  for or against??? 
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you needn't read me so closely, dm... a girl could start to get freaked out by your ESP capability. My ex one time said I should get a haircut, because (as she said) "you should do it for you." I knew in reality she wanted me to get a haircut for herslef, not me. This was proven when I did get a haircut and then when she pulled up in front of my apartment and I came out she was looking at me all smiling and kind of red in the cheeks. Yeah, do it for me. Right, babe. I sometimes know women so well they aren't even mysterious anymore. |
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you needn't read me so closely, dm... a girl could start to get freaked out by your ESP capability. My ex one time said I should get a haircut, because (as she said) "you should do it for you." I knew in reality she wanted me to get a haircut for herslef, not me. This was proven when I did get a haircut and then when she pulled up in front of my apartment and I came out she was looking at me all smiling and kind of red in the cheeks. Yeah, do it for me. Right, babe. I sometimes know women so well they aren't even mysterious anymore. okay.. and I suppose boredom sets in pretty quickly once there's no more mystery, huh? I mean, who likes to reread the same book over, and over, and over, and over, and over..................... 
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Indeed.
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Indeed. then it's time to read a new book... |
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There are no new books when it comes to women. Women are women; to a lesser or greater degree they all follow the same behaviors.
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There are no new books when it comes to women. Women are women; to a lesser or greater degree they all follow the same behaviors. I imagine the same could be said by many women about men. I won’t go as far as putting every man in the box though because I HAVE been surprised before. Though it’s been a while, I’d rather leave myself open to the possibility of being surprised again some day. I believe that when we close our minds to possibilities, we are granting our minds the power to witness ONLY that which we expect to see. Maybe that’s just me, but it doesn’t hurt to put it out there. 
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I decided I am against being for.
you can't stop there hippie.. c'mon now.. splain plzzz...
It is perfectly logical in a fuzzy hippie brain. |
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There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show. If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what? I do feel I get to know people better when I see them interacting with the diverse array of people on the wide range of subject matter the threads offer. I tend to care more about the way someone handles themselves and treats others than what their actual views are. I believe two people in a couple can have vastly different views if they have a certain level of respect for the other’s feelings and beliefs. Not always, but I have seen it work. Yes, I could easily lose interest in someone, I otherwise liked, if I see them being disrespectful or derogatory toward others in the forums. If they are better behaved when messaging one on one with me, then what I’m probably seeing are only issues we agree on or his best foot is forward. Sooo much more is said in these forums than relate to any given thread topic. |
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I still say that it's a bit much to expect everybody on a dating site to want to go on the forums and it's silly to suppose that just because they can't be bothered with this they are only looking for casual sex. This thread is about how arguments and disagreements can break out in a situation like this and some people just don't want to get involved with that.
The internet is the devil. People will say things to you when they are hiding behind a computer that they would never say to your face and although you could say that people feel more relaxed doing this, you are going to be mixing with a lot of people that you would have very little in common with and probably not want to hang about with in the real world. It can be a teritorial thing. Fights break out and you get the sort of rubbish that Facebook is notorious for with people trolling each other instead of just minding their own business and getting on with their own lives. |
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I still say that it's a bit much to expect everybody on a dating site to want to go on the forums and it's silly to suppose that just because they can't be bothered with this they are only looking for casual sex. This thread is about how arguments and disagreements can break out in a situation like this and some people just don't want to get involved with that. The internet is the devil. People will say things to you when they are hiding behind a computer that they would never say to your face and although you could say that people feel more relaxed doing this, you are going to be mixing with a lot of people that you would have very little in common with and probably not want to hang about with in the real world. It can be a teritorial thing. Fights break out and you get the sort of rubbish that Facebook is notorious for with people trolling each other instead of just minding their own business and getting on with their own lives. Okay, I can see where that might be true in some cases, like for overly shy people or something. But you don't believe that anything I've said to you would have been any differently had we been sitting in a cafe out for a tea, do you? Really? 
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Not knowing you there would be no way of knowing if this were true or not, which is what I think he meant. I'm only on here because I do my work from a computer and coming here gives me a break, but I can understand if people don't want to use the forum. There comes a time when you want to walk away from the drama and the people who create it and this happens regularly on forums.
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I still say that it's a bit much to expect everybody on a dating site to want to go on the forums and it's silly to suppose that just because they can't be bothered with this they are only looking for casual sex. This thread is about how arguments and disagreements can break out in a situation like this and some people just don't want to get involved with that. The internet is the devil. People will say things to you when they are hiding behind a computer that they would never say to your face and although you could say that people feel more relaxed doing this, you are going to be mixing with a lot of people that you would have very little in common with and probably not want to hang about with in the real world. It can be a teritorial thing. Fights break out and you get the sort of rubbish that Facebook is notorious for with people trolling each other instead of just minding their own business and getting on with their own lives. Okay, I can see where that might be true in some cases, like for overly shy people or something. But you don't believe that anything I've said to you would have been any differently had we been sitting in a cafe out for a tea, do you? Really?
No, I don't think that you personally have said anything to me that you wouldn't say to my face. It happens though and I will give you an example. I have an uncle and he also has sight problems. He has been using a computer for a lot longer than I have but the software that he uses is rather outdated and when he started using a computer that was the sort of thing that they recommended but the thinking on that has changed now and the software that I use is far more suitable and easier to use. We got into a discussion about it and he told me not to lecture him about computers because of all of the experience that he had with them and how he had held down a job for many years in government. He was very patronising about it and because he is a born again christian I replied saying that pride is supposed to be a sin. I really don't think that we would have had an argument like that if it had not been on the internet and I have seen him in person since and we talked about it and he was far more reasonable. |
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Not knowing you there would be no way of knowing if this were true or not, which is what I think he meant. I'm only on here because I do my work from a computer and coming here gives me a break, but I can understand if people don't want to use the forum. There comes a time when you want to walk away from the drama and the people who create it and this happens regularly on forums. The only reason I questioned his meaning is that Tawt actually knows me quite well. I'm curious if he notices me being more outspoken in the forums than what he knows me to be privately. Or if he thinks I would be more reserved in person than I am in correspondence. I aks because maybe we wouldn't necessarily notice this about ourselves.
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I think it is important to learn where people stand on issues that are important. On a thread on another site one lady said she got up and left her date at a restaurant after he prayed over his meal. Many on that site said she was rude and should have found out how serious was his faith to him. Our political and religious believes normally go to the core of who we are. While you may have a good time on a date and become good friends, once two people start living together their personal beliefs and habits can cause problems if they are too different. This does not say they cannot make it work, just that it can create major problems. Wow, that was a radical move on her part... to despise God so much she can't even stand to see someone pray? Ouch! So, are you saying that you wouldn't try to get to know the member you'd been interested in on a personal basis, if you learned through thread interactions that they had some views different from yours? You don't think people can change for the right person? People can change if they want to but if you expect the other person to change to meet your needs and view that is least likely to happen. It is however possible that two people with different views can live together if they know how to respect they others views. After all, I had a roommate that was an atheist and we got along great. I never pressured him into believing what I believe, he even put up with some of the bible studies I hosted. We played cards and dominos together. Then one Sunday he came with me to church in the local activity room. So yeah, people can change but that is not an expectation I have for them to. After all, some people are stubborn about certain things. I know I can be. |
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