Topic: Are you for... or are you against?
no photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:17 AM

I am friends with someone on FB that I can't stand their views. I don't defriend them because it is important to hear all sides of a story, rather you agree or not to the side you are hearing.


Okay, so are you saying that if you were attracted to someone on the forums and didn't like their views, you would still be friends with them, but wouldn't try to get to know them more on a personal level?

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:17 AM

Personally, I find it easier to change things I do than to change my core beliefs.


Sometimes even your core beliefs evolve on ya.

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:19 AM


I am friends with someone on FB that I can't stand their views. I don't defriend them because it is important to hear all sides of a story, rather you agree or not to the side you are hearing.


Okay, so are you saying that if you were attracted to someone on the forums and didn't like their views, you would still be friends with them, but wouldn't try to get to know them more on a personal level?



I don't know..I can't know anybody on a personal level as they all live too far away. But yes, I would like to meet my gun despising friend.

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Mon 03/18/13 11:19 AM




I think we should learn to respect eachother as a person and allow each of us to speak freely with respect.


My sentiments too SupremeLove...Welcome to Mingle!flowerforyou


Leigh, I'm sure that SupremeLove appreciates your acknowledgement of his arrival here on the boards, however, please try to keep your comments relevant to the original topic being discussed... flowers



My someone has their panties in a knicker today!


And whose panties might they be? laugh offtopic

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Mon 03/18/13 11:21 AM

Personally, I find it easier to change things I do than to change my core beliefs.


So you wouldn't get to know another member more personally if you didn't like what you saw of them on the boards?

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:22 AM

There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show.

If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what?




Also, how they handle themselves on the boards matters. If they are vulgar, that is, use obscenities alla time, that's a turn-off. I hardly ever, once in a blue moon, cuss.

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:22 AM



I am friends with someone on FB that I can't stand their views. I don't defriend them because it is important to hear all sides of a story, rather you agree or not to the side you are hearing.


Okay, so are you saying that if you were attracted to someone on the forums and didn't like their views, you would still be friends with them, but wouldn't try to get to know them more on a personal level?



I don't know..I can't know anybody on a personal level as they all live too far away. But yes, I would like to meet my gun despising friend.


cool..

ViaMusica's photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:23 AM


Personally, I find it easier to change things I do than to change my core beliefs.


Sometimes even your core beliefs evolve on ya.

Yes, but that's not the same as consciously changing them by dint of effort.

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:26 AM



Personally, I find it easier to change things I do than to change my core beliefs.


Sometimes even your core beliefs evolve on ya.

Yes, but that's not the same as consciously changing them by dint of effort.



I just changed one of mine by effort, it wasn't easy.

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:29 AM


There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show.

If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what?




Also, how they handle themselves on the boards matters. If they are vulgar, that is, use obscenities alla time, that's a turn-off. I hardly ever, once in a blue moon, cuss.


gotcha... :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:34 AM



There are long-term regulars on the forums that we get to know through our daily conversations. Sometimes controversial subjects come up, and tensions mount while diverse ideas are bantered about. It’s during these intense discussions that we can learn even more about each other as we let our critical thinking sides show.

If you are attracted to another member and have been interacting to get to know them better before reaching out to make a personal connection, can what you learn about their views, and how they handle themselves on the boards, turn you off from getting any closer? Or do you remain determined to make your move because even if their particular views may be outside the box, they turn you on no matter what?




Also, how they handle themselves on the boards matters. If they are vulgar, that is, use obscenities alla time, that's a turn-off. I hardly ever, once in a blue moon, cuss.


gotcha... :thumbsup: :thumbsup:



I probably should of said are always disagreeable?

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 11:35 AM



I think we should learn to respect eachother as a person and allow each of us to speak freely with respect.


My sentiments too SupremeLove...Welcome to Mingle!flowerforyou


Leigh, I'm sure that SupremeLove appreciates your acknowledgement of his arrival here on the boards, however, please try to keep your comments relevant to the original topic being discussed... flowers


Just saw this and I am confused, how was I off topic Athena?..

jemare's photo
Mon 03/18/13 12:22 PM
It's always a good time (and topic) to acknowledge a newbie's remarks. We were all newbies at one time flowerforyou But back on topic: (although I'm not here for dating), I'd certainly like to meet others from the forums at a meet one day, even if I really disagree with some of their ideas/views that they've posted in the forums. (unless they're really rude or intentionally obnoxious). I would think the conversations and viewpoints would keep things interesting at a gathering. Just as they do here in the forums. So it wouldn't keep me from going to a personal level happy

FearandLoathing's photo
Mon 03/18/13 12:44 PM
Depends on the attitude and situation I guess...I mean, if they're bein' a dick for no reason I will be less than impressed. However, if they are simply sharing their thoughts on a given topic, I really could give a f* less.

Flame on, I say...Opinions need to be louder these days.

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 12:47 PM

It's always a good time (and topic) to acknowledge a newbie's remarks. We were all newbies at one time flowerforyou But back on topic: (although I'm not here for dating), I'd certainly like to meet others from the forums at a meet one day, even if I really disagree with some of their ideas/views that they've posted in the forums. (unless they're really rude or intentionally obnoxious). I would think the conversations and viewpoints would keep things interesting at a gathering. Just as they do here in the forums. So it wouldn't keep me from going to a personal level happy


I agree, meeting friends in person that we've met on the forums regardless to our personal beliefs would be awesome, as I know others here have been doing it for years.

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 03/18/13 12:50 PM


I think it is important to learn where people stand on issues that are important. On a thread on another site one lady said she got up and left her date at a restaurant after he prayed over his meal. Many on that site said she was rude and should have found out how serious was his faith to him.

Our political and religious believes normally go to the core of who we are. While you may have a good time on a date and become good friends, once two people start living together their personal beliefs and habits can cause problems if they are too different. This does not say they cannot make it work, just that it can create major problems.


Wow, that was a radical move on her part... to despise God so much she can't even stand to see someone pray? Ouch!

So, are you saying that you wouldn't try to get to know the member you'd been interested in on a personal basis, if you learned through thread interactions that they had some views different from yours? You don't think people can change for the right person?


Maybe he just thought that he didn't want to get involved with the sort of person that might preach about people despising God if you aren't into that sort of thing? Why assume that he "despised God"? Maybe he just doesn't care much for religious types and felt awkward because he felt a bit of pressure to join in with the praying and didn't want to have a conversation about religion on a date?

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 12:50 PM

Depends on the attitude and situation I guess...I mean, if they're bein' a dick for no reason I will be less than impressed. However, if they are simply sharing their thoughts on a given topic, I really could give a f* less.

Flame on, I say...Opinions need to be louder these days.


I agree.. it all depends.. :thumbsup:

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 12:51 PM



I think it is important to learn where people stand on issues that are important. On a thread on another site one lady said she got up and left her date at a restaurant after he prayed over his meal. Many on that site said she was rude and should have found out how serious was his faith to him.

Our political and religious believes normally go to the core of who we are. While you may have a good time on a date and become good friends, once two people start living together their personal beliefs and habits can cause problems if they are too different. This does not say they cannot make it work, just that it can create major problems.


Wow, that was a radical move on her part... to despise God so much she can't even stand to see someone pray? Ouch!

So, are you saying that you wouldn't try to get to know the member you'd been interested in on a personal basis, if you learned through thread interactions that they had some views different from yours? You don't think people can change for the right person?


Maybe he just thought that he didn't want to get involved with the sort of person that might preach about people despising God if you aren't into that sort of thing? Why assume that he "despised God"? Maybe he just doesn't care much for religious types and felt awkward because he felt a bit of pressure to join in with the praying and didn't want to have a conversation about religion on a date?


what

oldsage's photo
Mon 03/18/13 01:04 PM




I think it is important to learn where people stand on issues that are important. On a thread on another site one lady said she got up and left her date at a restaurant after he prayed over his meal. Many on that site said she was rude and should have found out how serious was his faith to him.

Our political and religious believes normally go to the core of who we are. While you may have a good time on a date and become good friends, once two people start living together their personal beliefs and habits can cause problems if they are too different. This does not say they cannot make it work, just that it can create major problems.


Wow, that was a radical move on her part... to despise God so much she can't even stand to see someone pray? Ouch!

So, are you saying that you wouldn't try to get to know the member you'd been interested in on a personal basis, if you learned through thread interactions that they had some views different from yours? You don't think people can change for the right person?


All changes in a person are due a DESIRE to change. Any benefit that might come are an effect of that change & NEED to be simply accepted.


Yes, I know, people only change because they want too, not because someone else wants them too... but, do you stop trying to get to know other members on a personal level if you see something of their views or actions on the boards that turns you off?


Simply.....YES
There are many people here, that chose to express themselves in manners I CAN NOT agree with. I CHOSE not to comment on their topics or desire any form of contact.

Like all others; I act as I follow MY PERSONAL CHOICE.

no photo
Mon 03/18/13 01:13 PM
Edited by Leigh2154 on Mon 03/18/13 01:18 PM

It's always a good time (and topic) to acknowledge a newbie's remarks. We were all newbies at one time flowerforyou But back on topic: (although I'm not here for dating), I'd certainly like to meet others from the forums at a meet one day, even if I really disagree with some of their ideas/views that they've posted in the forums. (unless they're really rude or intentionally obnoxious). I would think the conversations and viewpoints would keep things interesting at a gathering. Just as they do here in the forums. So it wouldn't keep me from going to a personal level happy


Thanks Jemare and I agree!...As to the opening post questions, I think it can work both ways on the boards...A turn off, or a turn on...My attraction to ManO started on the boards, we just seemed to have a natural rhythm...I like diversity and I love hearing others express opinions even when I disagree, especially when they elaborate and explain why they feel the way they do...It keeps things interesting and gives me something to think about....Varying opinions and a mixture of personalities is what makes any gathering interesting and fun....It's called socializing!happy