I tend to be suspicious of men or women who "lay it on thick" and shower me with compliments right off the bat..Or people who express a great deal of interest in me (and what I say) when it just doesn't seem totally "real" or sincere...I don't want to be an "easy mark!".. Some people are "brown-nosers" and they rely on manipulation tactics to "get ahead" or "gain favors." (Or get attention etc.)...Have you noticed this?...They are "salespeople" in disguise! But what happens after they get their "sale?" Will they still act the same way? Or will they grow bored and look for someone new to "butter-up" and impress?

I left many dating sites because I got fed up of it. . Just because I happen to be nice to people, it doesn't mean if you tell me how pretty I am that I'll just suddenly be won over, or think "Oh wow. Yeah. Just GOTTA be with HIM!". I'll more than likely just hide from them. I suppose some women are flattered so easily, but I ain't. It takes a certain kind of man to make me want a relationship with him. In fact, it's quite hard to win me over. I'm a challenge.

I'm with RG, on that one too.. I'm hard to win over, and can't be easily fooled... as far as people flattering us, well, if they have no agenda, like they're not wanting anything from us, and they flatter by way of being nice, there's nothing offensive about this kind of communication. However, if they over flatter, and then slide in "hey you're really cute, can I have your cell phone number"... then I start getting suspicious about their motives...

i think one best gadgets was the hand mirror that wolf wistles when you use it a great gift ..but vanity has always been around since the hall of mirrors.. but then we head down the road of makeup,is it excesive flattery or an excuse to spend more time in the mirror lol
( only maulder and scully have the answere )

Nothing worse than fake flattery, or obvious buttering up, see it all the time in the Mingle forums. Of course some on the receiving end lap it up so you can't really blame the ones handing them out.

. I never wear much make-up, due to fear it will only make my eyes look "prettier". I don't mind flattery if it's either said with a bit of humor at least, or if it doesn't sound like he's kissing ***. If it was the very first guy to tell me, then maybe I'd feel more likely to believe I was "beautiful".

some excesive make up on some girls makes me ask,,is she dateing a guy or an art critic

flattery is like soap its 99% lye

I agree....There are "two sides" to every coin..I think it's probably easier to manipulate people with low self-esteem who are "needy" and vulnerable. Don't you?...My younger son had a lot of health issues starting when he was small. So he lived more of a "sheltered life."...When he finally went on dates (a little later in life) he was a bit naive...I had to give him a "crash-course" about women and possible manipulation tactics. He had a tendency to take everyone at "face value" at first...It was sad to "burst" his "bubble" but I just wanted him to be a little wiser and more "savvy" so no one would take advantage of him.

It is natural for me to give girl complements, especially if I like the girl, but that is my artistic side coming out and normally I am trying to make the girl feel good. I try not to go overboard with it, yet sometimes I get caught up in the moment. I can become like the shepherd boy complementing the farm girl in the book, Song of Solomon.

Exactly Torgo except I do blame the ones handing it out because they are manipulators who are willing to use others to fulfill their needs, whatever those needs might be...I read the OP as a point Greeneyes is making about relationships "in general", not just romantic relationships, all types of relationships....AND Claire, I totally agree with you...I am suspicious of people who lay it on thick, lay it on constantly, and agree with everything that is said by everyone who says it even when it is a direct contradiction to what they stated in prior conversations... These types seem blinded by an excessive need for attention that could stem from any number of personal problems...If they don't realize how transparent their BS is to the majority, they are certainly not going to be conscious of the damage they can and do inflict on people who, for what ever reason(s), lap up this fake flattery....I avoid them like the plague they are...

You ask what happens after they get their "sale".....The product they are selling is usually returned due to false advertising....

I think my own opinion would be closest here, and to add that some also might just be trying to be nice - or are simply nice people....that breed being often in short supply can go unrecognized.......just sayin'

I think it depends on the flattery and who it's from. I am one of the ones who will simply bask in it and worry later about whether it was sincere

Well, honestly, I normally get a sense of chemistry for a woman, that I will go after. I will compliment, joke and just be myself and how I feel. The deeper I feel the connection so will follow my effort, in most cases. That being said, I don't ever want someone who's not into me feeling pressured. If it ain't mutual, then it ain't period. I won't play that game, and if I have to over strategize any of it, it's gaming to me. so judge accordingly.

Not all that compliment or try to build up people have f'd up intentions. If what's given is not a gift you can receive. Then don't take it...

there are always intentions, and I would think we'd all prefer good intenet from others

flattery only becomes excessive (to me) if there is a motive that is clearly NOT in the best interests of the receiver....that is called dishonesty

attempting to win a woman's heart in an honest matter is an honestly noble act, good sir. The world could use a few more gentlmen

Thanks, sweetest. The vibe has to flow equally and In many ways I won't try too hard for any woman, especially if my gifts aren't received well... I am very realistic and balanced in my ways from my perspective. Honesty to me is key. So I go with that. I will also give them my worst attributes that I see in me, when the time is appropriate and lends itself to that subject of conversation, to help them make their own decision. It's what right..IMO .

I would just rather form a relationship not based on my looks. It can be risky. I remember starting a new school at age eleven. Suddenly a guy I didn't know, started telling me how his friend fancied me, and that if I said "No" to his friends request, he would rape me. Now I remember why I hardly liked that school. That was just way uncalled for. That was not a very sane move. It sounded so psychotic, that I was crying for hours about it, when I got home. I thought he would end up raping me. What a dumb, vile thing to say to someone you feel attracted to. Mind control, perhaps? I swear some people are such sicko's it's beyond belief.

We all have something to offer. When that flows as a give and take with another the results are wonderful.

When you allow someone to see the worst in you, do you set something up on purpose, or do you tell her that you have faults and let things occur naturally?

im sure karma got back too him in prison now.

Flattery will get you everywhere...

I let it flow naturally with the conversation. I'm not looking for anything unnatural in any way and dont create a "list". Sharing whats real in my awareness of self, so they can get to know the actual me...I don't pretend and want no gain from something other.

Ha ha :)