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| Topic: Free Lunch? | |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Fri 02/08/13 02:49 PM
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OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email. You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think? I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own. I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting. I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me". 
If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way, then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame. If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.
Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill? Me; I pay for my half of my bill because its polite. Men complain that women are only using them for money; so if I pay my own way; then I am not using him. Pretty simple, eh? Nothing to do with whether I like him or not. but you can do no wrong...  
Aww
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Fri 02/08/13 02:48 PM
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You turned down her invitation to go out with her only to show up with a friend. Without explanation, that would seem like you blew her off for someone else and weren't interested in going out with her. Why would you think she'd be happy about that? Again, though, completely different than a woman offering to pay her half on a date. it's a red flag... women that offer that usually fall into the same grouping. to bad she didn't offer, then that would have saved some time finding someone else... I completely disagree. Though, the red flags I see in you are assuming all women who offer to pay to be the same as the women you've dated and assuming a woman should be happy that you showed up, even if it's with someone else after you turned her down. Neither are good things. huh... i guess i'm wrong for thinking she felt the same way i did... maybe i should just go apologize to her and live the rest of my life in blissful bitchyness... 
If I were in the same situation, I would have wondered why he didn't explain to begin with that it was a money issue and that's why he declined the invite. That would give me the chance to offer to pay if I still wanted to see him. And then if he showed up with a friend, after the first explanation, I might realize it's because the friend offered to pay. If there was explanation in the beginning and he showed up with a friend after turning me down, I would absolutely wonder what's going on. If there was no explanation then, I'd probably assume he just wasn't interested it going out with me since he offered no reason for turning me down, yet going out with a friend. Simple explanations go a long way. |
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You turned down her invitation to go out with her only to show up with a friend. Without explanation, that would seem like you blew her off for someone else and weren't interested in going out with her. Why would you think she'd be happy about that? Again, though, completely different than a woman offering to pay her half on a date. it's a red flag... women that offer that usually fall into the same grouping. to bad she didn't offer, then that would have saved some time finding someone else... I completely disagree. Though, the red flags I see in you are assuming all women who offer to pay to be the same as the women you've dated and assuming a woman should be happy that you showed up, even if it's with someone else after you turned her down. Neither are good things. huh... i guess i'm wrong for thinking she felt the same way i did... maybe i should just go apologize to her and live the rest of my life in blissful bitchyness...
If I were in the same situation, I would have wondered why he didn't explain to begin with that it was a money issue and that's why he declined the invite. That would give me the chance to offer to pay if I still wanted to see him. And then if he showed up with a friend, after the first explanation, I might realize it's because the friend offered to pay. If there was explanation in the beginning and he showed up with a friend after turning me down, I would absolutely wonder what's going on. If there was no explanation then, I'd probably assume he just wasn't interested it going out with me since he offered no reason for turning me down, yet going out with a friend. Simple explanations go a long way. yea, i agree... but there is a time and a place for everything, and being in the middle of my "home bar", with me knowing everyone in there, and her not being able to stop screeching, there was no chance of that happening right then... i tried to take it outside and explain things, but the harpy couldn't even understand that notion... |
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OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email. You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think? I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own. I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting. I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".
If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way, then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame. If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.
Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill? it's snooty... thats what i think when they do that... just more head games from women... What's snooty? Offering to pay my half of the bill? Why do you think it's some kind of game? because a guy tries to be nice, and he gets this thrown at him... i've heard women talk about this before, and the reason is because they don't want the guy to think the chick "owes" him anything... thats the headgame. if nothing is said beforehand, then the guy pays. i won't ask a chick out again if she says this... Wow! I step out for a minute and look at all this!! 
It was a JOKE people. You obviously can't tell a person's motivation unless they clue you in!!
I will point out that the question is about the INITIAL meeting if you BOTH decide to meet and it is not an "invite" situation but rather a first get together - mutual. I think it is a bit of a conundrum because there is no fixed social convention for either side to bring up the subject. My solution is to go for coffee so that it is not a big deal and if she offers to pay then I would try to still pick up the tab. Then next time if she insists on buying then I will accept her offer (and get the lobster) j/k.
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yea, i agree... but there is a time and a place for everything, and being in the middle of my "home bar", with me knowing everyone in there, and her not being able to stop screeching, there was no chance of that happening right then... i tried to take it outside and explain things, but the harpy couldn't even understand that notion... Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to deal with a woman like that. Why was this an example in this thread, though? It had nothing to do with the topic. |
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What kind of man would let a woman he just met buy him lunch or even pay for her own food. 
If I had to plan it all out; I wouldn't go out with that man.
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yea, i agree... but there is a time and a place for everything, and being in the middle of my "home bar", with me knowing everyone in there, and her not being able to stop screeching, there was no chance of that happening right then... i tried to take it outside and explain things, but the harpy couldn't even understand that notion... Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to deal with a woman like that. Why was this an example in this thread, though? It had nothing to do with the topic. why do you keep asking the same question? look up about 4 posts for your answer, when you asked it 6 posts ago... |
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yea, i agree... but there is a time and a place for everything, and being in the middle of my "home bar", with me knowing everyone in there, and her not being able to stop screeching, there was no chance of that happening right then... i tried to take it outside and explain things, but the harpy couldn't even understand that notion... Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to deal with a woman like that. Why was this an example in this thread, though? It had nothing to do with the topic. why do you keep asking the same question? look up about 4 posts for your answer, when you asked it 6 posts ago... Ah, that's right. You made the incorrect assumption that any woman who was polite enough to offer to pay their share would freak out on you in a bar like the woman you described. Odd assumption. |
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This seems pretty simple. If someone asks me to do something I expect them to pay.
Since in the real world people are not always honest in their communications I rarely go anywhere not prepared to hold my own. I don't buy into mooching off of people and if I accept and invitation I accept it obliges me to reciprocate with a similiar invitation sometime in the future. |
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Dam right you go out for a coffee.
You dam right you do. Coffee that #$@4%! |
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I thought it was a given.
Ya' take a broad out to Micky Dees and it's guaranteed tail? What are ya'll doing wrong? 
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