Topic: Free Lunch?
mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 01:41 PM




OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?


I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own.


I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting.
I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way
I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".

laugh

If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way,
then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame.
If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off
then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.

laugh


Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill?


it's snooty... thats what i think when they do that... just more head games from women...

willing2's photo
Fri 02/08/13 01:44 PM

If the "GENTLEMAN" has a romantic interest in the LADY & has any "MANNERS/INTEGRITY; he will pay the bill with NO SECOND thoughts.

If it is 2 friends getting together for lunch; they should discuss the topic & agree on what will be done.

Bottom line is the matter should be settled in private by the people involved.

MANNERS & PERSONAL INTEGRITY are how I base ALL MY DECISIONS;
wish others still did the same.

All BS aside.
I agree with Oldsage.

Even if it's just a lady friend, I will still offer to pick up the tab.

I don't go out to dinner very often so, the cost wouldn't kill me.

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 01:49 PM





OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?


I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own.


I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting.
I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way
I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".

laugh

If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way,
then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame.
If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off
then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.

laugh


Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill?


it's snooty... thats what i think when they do that... just more head games from women...


What's snooty? Offering to pay my half of the bill? Why do you think it's some kind of game?

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 01:53 PM






OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?


I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own.


I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting.
I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way
I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".

laugh

If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way,
then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame.
If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off
then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.

laugh


Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill?


it's snooty... thats what i think when they do that... just more head games from women...


What's snooty? Offering to pay my half of the bill? Why do you think it's some kind of game?


because a guy tries to be nice, and he gets this thrown at him... i've heard women talk about this before, and the reason is because they don't want the guy to think the chick "owes" him anything... thats the headgame. if nothing is said beforehand, then the guy pays. i won't ask a chick out again if she says this...

Kahurangi's photo
Fri 02/08/13 01:55 PM


If the "GENTLEMAN" has a romantic interest in the LADY & has any "MANNERS/INTEGRITY; he will pay the bill with NO SECOND thoughts.

If it is 2 friends getting together for lunch; they should discuss the topic & agree on what will be done.

Bottom line is the matter should be settled in private by the people involved.

MANNERS & PERSONAL INTEGRITY are how I base ALL MY DECISIONS;
wish others still did the same.

All BS aside.
I agree with Oldsage.

Even if it's just a lady friend, I will still offer to pick up the tab.

I don't go out to dinner very often so, the cost wouldn't kill me.


:thumbsup:

Exactly!!...a fuss free lunch where one is more concerned about enjoying the meal and company rather than who is picking up the tab. Geebez...how hard does one want to make it? whoa

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 01:56 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Fri 02/08/13 01:57 PM
because a guy tries to be nice, and he gets this thrown at him... i've heard women talk about this before, and the reason is because they don't want the guy to think the chick "owes" him anything... thats the headgame. if nothing is said beforehand, then the guy pays. i won't ask a chick out again if she says this...


You're reading way too much into thinigs, moe. When I go on a first date with someone, I always offer. It's not a game. I just don't feel the guy must pay for someone he barely knows anything about. If he doesn't accept the offer, no worries. But, if some guy didn't ask me out again simply because I offered to pay my half? That's extremely lame.

The issue is when guys start assuming that just because a woman was playing games with him, that all women must be doing the same. Don't assume too quickly that offering to pay her half means she's playing head games. You may miss out on someone awesome.

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:05 PM
Edited by AthenaRose2 on Fri 02/08/13 02:06 PM

OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?



if we have an established connection before the lunch date and there's nothing really romantic about it, I would assume that we would discuss going dutch for our first "friendly meal meeting" during the conversation in which we discussed place and time...

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:08 PM

because a guy tries to be nice, and he gets this thrown at him... i've heard women talk about this before, and the reason is because they don't want the guy to think the chick "owes" him anything... thats the headgame. if nothing is said beforehand, then the guy pays. i won't ask a chick out again if she says this...


You're reading way too much into thinigs, moe. When I go on a first date with someone, I always offer. It's not a game. I just don't feel the guy must pay for someone he barely knows anything about. If he doesn't accept the offer, no worries. But, if some guy didn't ask me out again simply because I offered to pay my half? That's extremely lame.

The issue is when guys start assuming that just because a woman was playing games with him, that all women must be doing the same. Don't assume too quickly that offering to pay her half means she's playing head games. You may miss out on someone awesome.


maybe, but no way to tell now...

here is a good example: During the superbowl, a lady interest called me and wanted me to go to a bar and watch the superbowl there with her. I did not have the extra money at the time, so i politely declined. a few hours later, a friend calls me and tells me to come to another bar, she was there and he would buy. i thought ok, at least i can see her, and went. mistake. she completely went off on me and just was bitching for about 20 mins., because i came then and not when she called. i didn't even bother to tell her anything, i just said goodnight and went home. I wanted to date her before that, and now i'm glad it happened because her true nature came out. i haven't talked to her since, and don't plan to. maybe all women don't play games, but all the ones i meet do...

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:11 PM
What kind of man would let a woman he just met buy him lunch or even pay for her own food.

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:14 PM
who pays when gays go out?

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:18 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Fri 02/08/13 02:18 PM


because a guy tries to be nice, and he gets this thrown at him... i've heard women talk about this before, and the reason is because they don't want the guy to think the chick "owes" him anything... thats the headgame. if nothing is said beforehand, then the guy pays. i won't ask a chick out again if she says this...


You're reading way too much into thinigs, moe. When I go on a first date with someone, I always offer. It's not a game. I just don't feel the guy must pay for someone he barely knows anything about. If he doesn't accept the offer, no worries. But, if some guy didn't ask me out again simply because I offered to pay my half? That's extremely lame.

The issue is when guys start assuming that just because a woman was playing games with him, that all women must be doing the same. Don't assume too quickly that offering to pay her half means she's playing head games. You may miss out on someone awesome.


maybe, but no way to tell now...

here is a good example: During the superbowl, a lady interest called me and wanted me to go to a bar and watch the superbowl there with her. I did not have the extra money at the time, so i politely declined. a few hours later, a friend calls me and tells me to come to another bar, she was there and he would buy. i thought ok, at least i can see her, and went. mistake. she completely went off on me and just was bitching for about 20 mins., because i came then and not when she called. i didn't even bother to tell her anything, i just said goodnight and went home. I wanted to date her before that, and now i'm glad it happened because her true nature came out. i haven't talked to her since, and don't plan to. maybe all women don't play games, but all the ones i meet do...


That's completely different than what we were just discussing, though. I can see why she'd be upset, as you declined her invitation, but went out when your friend called. And if you didn't explain anything to her, it would come off as you not being interested in her. I would think that if you had been interested in her, you would have explained the situation.

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:22 PM



because a guy tries to be nice, and he gets this thrown at him... i've heard women talk about this before, and the reason is because they don't want the guy to think the chick "owes" him anything... thats the headgame. if nothing is said beforehand, then the guy pays. i won't ask a chick out again if she says this...


You're reading way too much into thinigs, moe. When I go on a first date with someone, I always offer. It's not a game. I just don't feel the guy must pay for someone he barely knows anything about. If he doesn't accept the offer, no worries. But, if some guy didn't ask me out again simply because I offered to pay my half? That's extremely lame.

The issue is when guys start assuming that just because a woman was playing games with him, that all women must be doing the same. Don't assume too quickly that offering to pay her half means she's playing head games. You may miss out on someone awesome.


maybe, but no way to tell now...

here is a good example: During the superbowl, a lady interest called me and wanted me to go to a bar and watch the superbowl there with her. I did not have the extra money at the time, so i politely declined. a few hours later, a friend calls me and tells me to come to another bar, she was there and he would buy. i thought ok, at least i can see her, and went. mistake. she completely went off on me and just was bitching for about 20 mins., because i came then and not when she called. i didn't even bother to tell her anything, i just said goodnight and went home. I wanted to date her before that, and now i'm glad it happened because her true nature came out. i haven't talked to her since, and don't plan to. maybe all women don't play games, but all the ones i meet do...


That's completely different than what we were just discussing, though. I can see why she'd be upset, as you declined her invitation, but went out when your friend called. And if you didn't explain anything to her, it would come off as you not being interested in her. I would think that if you had been interested in her, you would have explained the situation.


well, it's hard to say anything during the ***** session... and why would i explain anything to someone like that? instead of being happy to see me, it was just the opposite... there is more women out there that don't screech like a harpy...

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:26 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Fri 02/08/13 02:27 PM
You turned down her invitation to go out with her only to show up with a friend. Without explanation, that would seem like you blew her off for someone else and weren't interested in going out with her. Why would you think she'd be happy about that?

Again, though, completely different than a woman offering to pay her half on a date.

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:30 PM

You turned down her invitation to go out with her only to show up with a friend. Without explanation, that would seem like you blew her off for someone else and weren't interested in going out with her. Why would you think she'd be happy about that?

Again, though, completely different than a woman offering to pay her half on a date.



it's a red flag... women that offer that usually fall into the same grouping. to bad she didn't offer, then that would have saved some time finding someone else...

jacktrades's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:35 PM
I prefer to pay.

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:37 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Fri 02/08/13 02:40 PM


You turned down her invitation to go out with her only to show up with a friend. Without explanation, that would seem like you blew her off for someone else and weren't interested in going out with her. Why would you think she'd be happy about that?

Again, though, completely different than a woman offering to pay her half on a date.



it's a red flag... women that offer that usually fall into the same grouping. to bad she didn't offer, then that would have saved some time finding someone else...



I completely disagree. Though, the red flags I see in you are assuming all women who offer to pay to be the same as the women you've dated and assuming a woman should be happy that you showed up, even if it's with someone else after you turned her down. Neither are good things.

Also, it almost sounds as if you were testing her to see if she'd get mad when you showed up with someone else and no explanation.

navygirl's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:43 PM




OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?


I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own.


I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting.
I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way
I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".

laugh

If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way,
then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame.
If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off
then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.

laugh


Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill?


Me; I pay for my half of my bill because its polite. Men complain that women are only using them for money; so if I pay my own way; then I am not using him. Pretty simple, eh? Nothing to do with whether I like him or not.

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:44 PM



You turned down her invitation to go out with her only to show up with a friend. Without explanation, that would seem like you blew her off for someone else and weren't interested in going out with her. Why would you think she'd be happy about that?

Again, though, completely different than a woman offering to pay her half on a date.



it's a red flag... women that offer that usually fall into the same grouping. to bad she didn't offer, then that would have saved some time finding someone else...



I completely disagree. Though, the red flags I see in you are assuming all women who offer to pay to be the same as the women you've dated and assuming a woman should be happy that you showed up, even if it's with someone else after you turned her down. Neither are good things.



huh... i guess i'm wrong for thinking she felt the same way i did... maybe i should just go apologize to her and live the rest of my life in blissful bitchyness... noway

no photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:45 PM





OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?


I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own.


I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting.
I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way
I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".

laugh

If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way,
then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame.
If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off
then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.

laugh


Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill?


Me; I pay for my half of my bill because its polite. Men complain that women are only using them for money; so if I pay my own way; then I am not using him. Pretty simple, eh? Nothing to do with whether I like him or not.


Yeah, I'm being polite when I do it. It has no bearing on whether I am interested in him or not. Though, if he's going to assume that means I'm not interested, we're probably not a good match anyway.

mightymoe's photo
Fri 02/08/13 02:45 PM





OK, you met someone online. They seem nice on the phone and in email.
You decide to meet for lunch. How do you bring up who is going to pay
or if you are going to go dutch. What do you think?


I don't see a problem with each person paying for their own.


I usually meet for coffee or something small for any intial meeting.
I always offer to buy. If she insists she wants to pay her own way
I wonder if it is because "she just isn't that into me".

laugh

If she is really strapped for cash and she wants to pay her own way,
then she probably really is not that into me. That is pretty lame.
If she insists on paying for her own way and she is actually well-off
then she may or may not be into me...so that doesn't help much.

laugh


Guys actually believe a woman isn't into them simply because they've offered to pay their half of the bill?


Me; I pay for my half of my bill because its polite. Men complain that women are only using them for money; so if I pay my own way; then I am not using him. Pretty simple, eh? Nothing to do with whether I like him or not.


but you can do no wrong...love flowerforyou