That is not what a girl wants to hear or a man for that matter. Learn to love? That is like saying...give me time and I can tolerate you.

I heard that once.
It's almost like a slap in the face.
Though, he never did 'learn'

I did not initially care for someone who is now one of my very best friends. She still gets on my nerves from time to time, but we have worked closely together for 5 years now and I can honestly say I have learned to love her.

I think I would just let it happen. If I never end up feeling anything for them though, then it was probably just never meant to work out that way. I have to feel that "Butterflies in the stomach" feeling, everytime I think about him, otherwise I wouldn't think about spending the rest of my life with him. I'm not sure if we can learn to love someone. You can learn to LIKE, though.

this will be unpopular as a response but I do believe 'love' is highly psychological,, that is, we unconsciously develop an emotion for psychological reasons and it isnt some spontaenous mysterious occurrence that we romanticize it to be


much like we can train ourself to make something a habit or train ourself to get rid of a habit

we can train ourself to have that psychologically induced emotion


so, oddly enough, yes,, I do think we can 'love' anyone who fits certain traits and values that we respect and admire,, even if the love is not immediate....

You learn to love. Plain and simple. Everyone has flaws and you have to accept those to truly love an individual.

yes.. You can learn to love someone later..

yes.. You can learn to love someone later..

I was wondering about this, how much different is falling in love with someone then learning to love someone?

Maybe it's just the way it's worded, not sure. One sounds like the person is settling and trying to force something to happen.

.Thats why i stopped watching romance movies. Too many unreal situations..

"costumbre es mas grande que amor" is a spanish saying that translates to "a habit is stronger than love"

sometimes we become so accustomed to having someone around, we fool ourselves into thinking we are in love

For me.....

I am in love. But, I still got a lot to learn and I am learning everyday.

I am learning it ain't all about me anymore ...it's about us.

I catch myself everyday thinking or doing something that is selfish instead of selfless.

So....yes...love is learned and earned every day.

If I knew EVERYTHING ....then I wouldn't bother with learning.

(Ps....I firmly believe that love is something that is hard work and must be constantly learner. Thinking it is easy and just comes without effort got me nowhere but lonely.)

This. If there is no chemistry, to me it would be settling.

I don't think it's actually all that unreal. I think it happens more then we think in real life

I hope you find a better instructor. You deserve true happiness. I don't think we are meant to be alone, I think there really is someone out there for everyone. We just have to look and work on it.

I'm glad I found my love. She's teaching me a lot. I know what we have is real because it's both a romance fairy tale and a hellish nightmare, but we get through the tough times and come out on top. We're both learning and teaching each other things.

Trust me, as messed up as I am, if I can find a woman strong enough to handle me, I don't see how something that rare can exist if there wasn't someone for everyone.

It has nothing to do with being instructed; just couldn't feel it. If there isn't something there; I can't learn to love a person regardless. This not a school subject; its emotions. I don't think there is someone for everyone as more and more people are becoming single and will die that way. I don't think a partner can make me happy; I have to be happy with myself. I am doing okay but there are days I wonder why I am alive. It all seems so mundane and routine. Very hard to live like this when I am truly bored with my life.

I know, I was just sticking with the theme of the topic. :P But, I get like that too. Sounds more like depression than lack of love or anything like that though. More and more people are depressed now a days as well. I wonder if that has anything to do with more people dying alone now. IDK

I probably could if she made some mean sausage gravy and biscuits........

I think the depression comes from failed marriages/relationships as people; especially guys (financially) got burned by their partners. There is also the fact that guys are going through mid-life crisis and women going through menopause which can really mess a person up. The recession hasn't helped as most of us lost good paying jobs and now had to take a much lower paying job while the cost of living is still going up. There is so much going on that it is hard for most of us to even care about being in a relationship.