I was watching a movie on t.v. a couple days ago, and a man on the movie made the comment 'I could learn to love her, she's a great woman and she loves me'. Is it possible to learn to love someone? Or do you think it's something that should just happen? Which would be better?

Yes sometimes it takes a while to realize who actually cares for you. I have taken somethings for granted.

I don't think it's something that can be forced.

The idea I got, from watching the movie, was that the man didn't really love the woman in that way at the time, but he felt he could learn to love her as his wife, if that makes sense. I was just wondering if someone could really 'learn' to love someone that way. Or if it's more just acceptance of the person and being with them, but not really loving them.

I agree - people often need some time to realize what love is, who loves them, what it means to love, and to spot the fakers

I agree with singme also - it cannot be forced - but once recognized it should not be taken for granted or taken with a frivoulous attitude

When you put it that way, it sounds like he was settling.

On the other hand, I have been friends with someone and ended up having feelings for them the more we got to know each other. But, that's just spending more time with someone and letting feelings develop. To me, that seems different than what you've described.

I believe it could happen, but sadly, not yet...

I think it goes back to the reality of what love actually is in its maturest forms. it takes time to love anyone after the initial attraction. it takes time to grow together and learn a person

so yes - if he is compatabile enough to stay with her they probably will grow close enough to love each other

it's staying together long enough & wanting to be together

but if he is just settling than the desire to be with the person may not be strong enough to be sustainable in my opinion

I believe true love comes easy,,,,,and shows its self without any effort,,,,,but thats just me

I agree w singmesweet

Sure, if you become so broken that you lose the ability to love, sometimes you have to re-learn. Sometimes you have to make changes to yourself to allow love in. Not forcing thing to happen though, but being open and flexible.

EH... Don't believe too much of what you see on T.V. A dog is a dog. A dog will hump anything that lets it. Learn to love? That is like saying there is such a thing as Monogamous dogs (real BOW WOW, WOOF WOOF, type dogs, not the two legged HOWWWWWWDY BABY type). All this comment says to me is that, "She isn't exactly what I am looking for but for now she will do." Can you say 'I see a heartbreaking dumping session on guess who eventually when Mr. Fantastic here in the afore mentioned example finds a woman more up his pant leg...'

I think you should pay attention closely to this song just in case! This is a great song for all of you out there but about a messed up aspect of dating and relationships! Just food for thought!!!

http://youtu.be/aXwtzP8KZwY

You got to love the Mommas and the Poppas! Great song huh?

Love, in it’s purest form, happens naturally and is uncontrollable. I don't think that the love between 2 people can be learned. A person, (over time) can learn to care, honor, and treat another person with respect but those actions do not necessarily translate to love- they can but not always.

While the man’s desire to want to ‘love’ the woman is commendable, he failed in truly loving her by forcing himself to ‘learn’ what should already come naturally.

Wanting to be something and actually being something are two different things.
The desire to have something is not the same as having it.

I think "learning to love" is optioning or settling.
Love happens naturally.
It happens by accident.
It happens when you least expect it.
Ya dont learn it in school.
JMO

I tried to learn to love and it didn't work for me. Just wasn't real to me; not able to feel it. I felt like I was just settling.

Learn to love. Grow to love...it’s is the same thing to me. So yes, I could grow to love someone.

Yes, I could grow to love someone that I wasn’t initially attracted to but liked/enjoyed his company or his humour enough to enjoy spending time with him.

I don't have children. And yet, when I saw my nephew for the first time (a few hours after he was born), held him.....I fell in love with him. It was natural because there he was. Yes. He was family. But when I held him it was pure love.

Now. I have loved a few women in my time, two of which I was in love with. Did that love grow from the first time I met them? Sure it did. But I didn't go through some process of developing love. What I mean is that I didn't become involved with them cause I thought "Hey! This girl is alright. I like being around her. I could, maybe eventually love her". To me, you can love someone and then you can fall in love with that person. Least that's how I view it.

It does. Men don't realize how good they had it until some time flies by and things suck still. Or don't and are doomed to be stuck in that wheel of suck. They will pretend they don't care, they will say they don't need anyone but their mind reverts back to the one they let go on purpose.

Men...
Don't...
Get...
It...

I am between answers, I think its both. But the one which is the natural should be the dominant response.

But the real question is, how many people still believe in love in its purest form? How many really believe in it?

Not many...so you get the other answer "learning" trumping the natural course of life.

as humans we experience a very wide array of emotions (love being just one of them).

some are primary and some are learned. it has been shown that we can, if fact, also overcome or un-learn (for lack of a better term) them. I’ll name ‘fear’ as the easiest example to support this claim. as children we are innately afraid of loud abrupt noises, but as we grow and experience these same sounds over and over again, we become less and less likely to respond with fear.

given the human ability to adapt and to learn behaviors, I see no reason we cannot “learn to love”.