I've been in an on/off again relationship for 5 yrs. where we both worked and made very good money to provide for the family(Details: Myself and my daughter from a previous relationship). Here recently,I'd say about 2-3 mths. ago,I lost my job and am now unemployed leaving him with the financial burden until something else comes up.My isuues is this,ever since he has been financially in control of things he has taken this "control" to a whole other level calling me helpless and lazy which by far I am not.I ran my own daycare facility for 5 yrs.!! Lazy???? I think not.Not to mention that for the first 2 yrs of our relationship I SUPPORTED HIS DEAD BEAT ***!!! We've discussed marriage before but after all this I refuse to let some man put me down when I feel I need support.When is it time to say''DUDE?**** THIS I'M MOVING ON.'' or should I stick it through and let him have his ''machismo moment'' like everyone is telling me to do?

You might want to move on. Seriously. Don't let that man disrespect you like that. You supported him the first 2 yrs and now he's going to behave that way b/c things aren't going well for you? Seems he has an attitude that needs some adjusting. What you need is someone that will be with you through thick and thin. Better for you and your daughter in the long run to have someone positive in your life that's not going to put you down. All the best in whatever decision you make ~

Move on. If someone really cares for you they are there thru thick and thin for you. If anything he should be behind you even more.Life has its ups and downs when your down is when you need him the most best wishes

Thanks but the way things look right now,he's gettin the boot as soon as I find a job to pay my own damn bills again.If this is the disrespect I get from him after everything I've done for him then he is a selfish piece of ****.Just need to be sure I'm not over reacting :)

And this is what my sanity tells me !haha!

You're not over-reacting. Does he not know how hard the job-market is these days? Seems like his true colors came out. Better to know now than waste more years w/a man that is not going to be there for you through it all. Once you get back on your feet kick him to the curb. He will soon realize what he's lost. Or maybe he will be too blind to even see it after. Either way, you're better off without him.

Hummm I'm a true believe of not letting another control my life. But then I return that favor as well..

As for your situation don't leave yourself in a bind on the way. Therefore what I would do is find me a job first and make sure I can live on my own then I would move on...

Seems he has forgot what you have done for him in the past.

Myself I would never stay any longer then I had to....

i usually wait for them to issue a restraining order on me before i move on but that's just me....

And that is exactly how I felt about the whole thing.I was like when your *** was broke,who paid for your food,shaving cream,toilet paper,toothpaste etc.? and not just that...who gave you a roof over your head? The only reason I stayed with him for so long was because,let's face it,most men out there that want a 'date' want more than that and aren't willing to stick with the responsibility afterwards.I am not one to have sex w/no strings attached and he stayed with us for 5 yrs.,helping support my daughter and being a great father figure for her...but as a bf/fiance,he sucks and his true colors have shown...just leaves me asking why I didn't see this crap before.

I speak from personal experience. I married someone like that and girl everytime something bad happened in the past twelve years of marriage or I lost my job he did the same thing and never changed. I too have supported him when he didn't have a job, but when I remind him of that he just blows it off. They don't change...it only gets worse. Even if it seems better for a time, something will happen and they start acting the same way again. That isn't something you want your daughter to think is okay either. I constantly would remind my son that this isn't how a marriage is suppose to be and a man shouldn't treat a lady he loves like that.

Deep down inside you probably know what you should do. Listen to the voice inside you. Good luck to you.

You're right.....it's just the fear getting in the way....i need to get over it already and stop depending on this *** hole.

I think you got it.

It sounds like the type of guy I'd never put up with for long. I can tell you that for sure :) If he wants to act like teenager again, instead of doing his duties, well I think you'd be better off finding a man who actually respects you. These kinds of men who have children but never take responsibilty are gutless. You can do better with a higher quality male. There really is better out there.

I agree with the others. Move on. You owe it to your daughter. She doesn't need to live in a home where such fighting is constantly taking place.

Oh that's a bad behaviour! Dear do what your mind tells you.

too many couples today hit a rough spot in their relationship and they begin to whine about how bad it is to everyone except the person they should be talking to. it's not easy to keep a good relationship healthy, but that doesn't mean you should jump ship at the first sign of stormy weather. if you have been in an on again/off again relationship for five years with this cat, then you should have already worked through other problems. whatever you did (professional counselling or just talking things out) the past troubled times, it worked. if this time is worse than try what you haven't tried in the past. your child has grown to know this family and to show her that a financial difficulty is worth losing a family over is not going to help her in her future. godspeed, bulldog

Only you can decide when it's time to do so, but I would consider the moment you had to ask this question as an indication. The heart is foolish. step back and look at the reality of the situation. Consider the facts and base your decision on such.

this girl has been there and done that. if the shoe fits your man, follow her, she knows the way

Sure couples experience problems in relationships. Sometimes they work through them, sometimes they give up. But guys, how would you feel if the woman you were with disrespected you in such ways? How is that even worth putting up with? Would you stay with the person if he/she abused you?