Loss of a job when one is used to being independent is rough to deal with. Things that would be taken in jest with a grain of salt feels more like rubbing salt in a raw wound.

Before I jump to conclusions that you are involved with a real rat I guess I would ask you to take a step back and see how much the over all relationship has been.

Generally when a woman with a child takes a guy in that is not working, especially a guy from her own admission has been a good step dad there are chances he may have more value than is currently evident by what your friends are calling a little harmless current machismo. Friends and family can sometimes be unfair other times they can give great perspective. You are the one who can make the best decision if you are really seriously thinking about hitting the bricks once you get in a little better situation.

My guess is you are just frusterated and angry by the situation as a whole and are saying you are "going" to leave but really don't want to. Learning to fight fair, manage money as a couple, and even addressing other issues, could help your relationship. Includeing dealling with anger and depressions which are a normal part of job search.

What may make staying is setting your partner down and saying openly and honestly that maybe some of his jabs are deserved (because you were not the ideal mate when he was struggleing, still thorwing it in his face, but now flipping the scripts is really hurting you when you need him to let you have an equal share in decision making regardless of the current financial contribution. Giving him a chance to be your hero may have surpriseing positive results.

My guess is he really doesn't want to trash your relationship and a nice heart to heart about giving you the dignity you want to model for your daughter, and enjoy yourself, is something he will make an effort to make happen rather than have his happy family dissentigrate. Something that would probably hurt your daughter much more than the fussing as you get through this difficult time.

Maybe asking your mate to enter couples peer support groupe while the re-entry to the work force will help you both cope. Many are free and actually helpful in the job search effort. Looking for work is absolutely the worst possible job and stresses many relationships. Spouses do not really know how to help. Even if they have been through it.

Doesn't help that the the social pressure to cut and run is way too high when really a little moral support would be much more helpful.

While I would welcome you BOTH to Mingle for peer support as many happy couples do exist here I would give you some caution not to jump too fast to the singles that would welcome you to their ranks and maybe cheerlead you into a failed relationship that you will regret for many years.

If this guy is verbally abuseing you, physically abuseing you, economiclly abuseing you then I would say hit the brinks but if this is just the rough spots that all lasting relationships encounter maybe a step back and contemplation is worth the investment. You have some serious thinking to do.

I would never under estimate the usefulness of prayer or having a church community to support your relationship getting across this difficult time in your family's life. I certainly will be praying for you all.

Well people have given their reasons to move on. And I agree. I know I wouldn't want my gf/spouse saying I was worthless, or degrading me. A relationship is all about working together through the tough times. Nowadays people just want the good times and when bad times happen they want to run away. Honestly....that's what I see when you say he is doing this. Now he sees he is working and he feels he should control it all. He's the man. Now he is in charge. Doesn't matter (to him) that you carried him at one point in your relationship. He is carrying you (not saying you do nothing. Just saying he is bringing home the money) now and so he thinks he should have more control. In a way, he likes this cause he feels he can now control you. So yeah....HUGE sign to move on. And believe this.....once you do he will come begging for you to come back.

I know fear has you wanting to stay. "I don't want to be alone". "What if I don't find another guy"? "I know he loves me. He's just having a hard time with this. I know he doesn't mean those hurtful things he says to me". Fear will make you convince yourself to stay......even when you know you should go.

well we obviously don't know the whole story but if he doesn;t have more compassion for your situation that left you jobless, I 'd say he doesn;t sound very understanding or supportive.

I often agree with you and too seldom say so - great post!!

enough said.

what other clues do you really need, other than that statement?

you may not know it but this is God showing u the kind of man he is.. Imagine if you were already married to him, could have been worse. Come to think of it, it is a mans full responsibility to care for his family, the woman is only there to support. Dont worry, you will get a great job soon.. When one door closes, another will open.

but pls, the man is meant to be head over the woman, that is how God intended it to be.. Women are to submit to their husbands but that dont mean you treat her like trash.

Well God showed me his colors...and just in time.So thankful I did not marry him.Guilt is a deadly sickness and this dude threw it all up the other night turns out he's been cheating on me the whole time.Thanks everyone for the advice but as a few of you have said,deep down I knew what was to come.Now
TO MOVE ON!

Now your in the right spirit. your name says it all. Get rid of that selfish, and inconsiderate, manipulative bum and take care of yourself and your lil daughter. The right man will soon come.

I think you should move on before it get really bad cause a real man would not treat their lady that way. I real man would of treat you like a queen not matter what the situation is. Thru good and bad time, he should love you if not then he isn't the right one for you and your kids.