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| Topic: How Old Is too Old | |
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Edited by
vintageframes
on
Mon 09/10/12 10:57 PM
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as for the 8 yr gap of 18 to 26 it's more of an oppositional comparison. high school/just starting college vs. college/graduated college, cannot legally drink/purchase alcohol vs. can legally drink/purchase alcohol, partying and meeting as many people as possible vs. thinking about finding the "one" to settle down with and have a family, etc. You hit the nail on the head. In your youth you go to university and go clubbing, etc, so of course you'll be surrounded by others your own age. Why? Because that's life. Our twenties
is when we get to find one, or a few potential lovers. Sometimes a friends introduces you both to each other. Sometimes you meet them in University. Our twenties. If you feel you've found the right one, you will feel butterflies. How is a youth just starting out in the big wide world meant to just suddenly want to settle down with [for example] some 40 year old? When she has men around her in University? She is just starting out. thanks! when i started my undergrads, i had just turned 17 and i thought i was so smart and uber mature and knew everything. fortunately for me, i didn't stay single long and met my ex who's 2 yrs older than me and he put up with the bulk of my know-it-all youth because he was my age and we went through very similar things at the same time. as a matter of fact, we both found each other's know-it-allism to be endearing. but that's the point of life, isn't it? to find someone who's going to understand what you're going through and be able to relate to one another. finding someone of similar age range helps with the relating part when it comes to intimate relationships. look back then, i was just super annoying and so is everyone up until probably their mid 20s. i cannot fathom how anyone in their right mind who's in their late 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. would even find someone so much younger than them to be "attractive" and have a "connection" with a fledging child! i can't stand most 18-23 year olds even now. to be frank, i find a lot of people my age still super annoying and idiotic. but it's my generation so i'm stuck weeding through the muck hoping to find a gold ring in there somewhere because i want to build my life with someone on the same level as me. i'm not looking for anyone who's already done the bulk of living and now ready to retire. what a drag! |
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thanks!  . I like my morals to be heard. I have certain standards in regards to what I will tolerate with a man.
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Edited by
vintageframes
on
Mon 09/10/12 11:20 PM
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i think when a person is younger, 8 years seems to be a big difference. when people are older in their 40s and beyond, 8 years would probably be considered lesser of an age gap. the difference from 40 to 48 is minimal compared to 18 and 26. from 40 to 48, people usually have kids or even grown up children who moved out, been homeowners, had several career changes, dealt with financial hardships, etc. as for the 8 yr gap of 18 to 26 it's more of an oppositional comparison. high school/just starting college vs. college/graduated college, cannot legally drink/purchase alcohol vs. can legally drink/purchase alcohol, partying and meeting as many people as possible vs. thinking about finding the "one" to settle down with and have a family, etc. i don't agree that age is "just a number." as a matter of fact, i'm really sick and tired of hearing and reading people's cliched reasoning that age is "just a number." aside from the numerical status, age is indicative of how long a person has been on earth and how much cultural and societal changes they've witnessed but it totally goes against evolutionary laws. being part of different generations creates different mentalities towards life. roaming the earth longer means there's more damaged that have been sustained so unless someone has lived in a bubble or just got defrosted from a cryogenic dome, i find it to be delusional, absolutely ridiculous, and psychologically and physically wrong when some dude my dad's age thinks he has that much in common and "connects" with a chick that's my age or much younger. my father is in his mid 50s and he thinks my female friends are complete airheads. all my friends are at least in their 30s. that should give you some indicator of generation gap that gets caused by age gaps. when i hear or see older people write in their profile that they can outlast us youngsters, i'm going to have to laugh at that. i find that ridiculous. my parents are in their 50s and even they laugh at people their age for being that much in denial about their age. just because you're active when you're older, it doesn't make you strong as someone in their 20s. just because you think you look younger, it doesn't actually mean that you are younger. how you see yourself is going to be different than how people see you, esp. how younger people actually view older people. ashton kutcher married a couger and then left her for someone his age. another fake playboy bunny backed out on marrying hugh heftner because she realized she needs to be with a guy her age. trying to find the exception to the rule and saying people are happy in marriages with huge age gaps won't ever make it the rule. being with someone with a huge age gap is completely against evolutionary reasoning. i'm probably the only person who's going against the grain and saying that it's complete bs and anyone that goes for someone who's that far apart in age has underlining issues that they either refuse to address or is unaware of having. Great post and you are spot on with everything you have stated. I was thinking the same thing actually about us being older and active. I am active for my age and I can hold my own with some of my 30 year old friends however I am sure if I partied with a bunch of 30 year olds on a regular basis: it would kill me. I also know when I fall it hurts much more and takes longer to heal than when I was 30 as our bodies are getting weaker with age. We are also in a completely different mindset as Singmesweet has mentioned. You may be younger but you are very wise for your age. 
thanks!! although, i don't think i'm wise so much as observant. i asked my dad if people actually get wiser when they get older. he said, "nope. trust me, they just get older."
i wasn't insulting anyone because of their age. it's just a reality that is quite glaring and very sad. when i visit my parents for the holidays, i do physical activities with them and they're both in their 50s, super great shape, both thin and health conscious people. my dad runs on the treadmill every night for 30 mins and has been doing that for decades. these days he's slowed down a bit but he use to run 1 hour a day up until 3 years ago when he suffered a stroke. my dad was an athlete all his life and it breaks my heart to see him complaining about his health issues because reminds him of his mortality and reminds me that i might face the reality of losing a parent. my mom too. she does zumba and aerobics at a gym 2x a week hanging out with 20 yr old college girls who told me that i have such a "totally cool mom." on top of that, she's a vegan. well my mom had some liver issues (hereditary) pop up 4 yrs ago as she's not ever been a drinker/smoker/unhealthy eater. last year when i was visiting for the holidays, I indulged her and went to the gym with her and after that i said, "i'll race you to the car, whoever gets there last buys lunch!" and she was running pretty quick (i was still running faster) but then tripped and hurt herself badly. i mean she bruised herself! oh man, i felt so horrible about that because i never thought i'd live to see the day where it's evident that my parents are aging. both of them remind me that they're limited because they're "old" when i ask them to do high adrenaline stuff. they're not in their 30s anymore and i'm not a little kid anymore. there's always some sort of scary sad feeling that creeps inside me because reality is inescapable. |
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thanks! . I like my morals to be heard. I have certain standards in regards to what I will tolerate with a man.
lol thanks anyways! i grew up saying thank you to everyone and everything! we're actually pretty close in age. you know... there's a strange big deal about turning 30 as if the world just explode. i'm not saying about you, but my friends and just social pressures of turning 30. all my friends are older than me and in their 30s with the exception of 3 (25 divorced female, 23 female photojournalist, and 18 gay male hairdresser) and oddly enough, the ones that make a big deal of 30 and being 30s are the ones who are actually in their 30s lol. i have a 32 yr old friend who's "panicking" because she doesn't have anyone and her "biological clock" is ticking and she really wants to have kids. her problem is she cannot settle on a guy. she oscillates so much and swings from one end to the next so quickly that it would make her finding someone who's looking to settle down even more difficult. meanwhile on my end, i do want someone to build a foundation with, to have a family sometime in the future as the goal, so i'm pretty focused to attracting someone around my age who's at that point in their lives. lol my rambling actually does have a point. when people focus their energies on what they want, it will attract what they want to come to them in some way. because my friend is indecisive, she does not attract men who are looking to marry and have children. they can't even take her seriously. she's been recycling ex boyfriends for a couple of years now. that being said, if a person doesn't care who or what comes their way then they're just going to get "whatever." the reason why 18-22 yr olds attract each other because they're focused on the same goal: partying! and it goes the same as to why most people in their 40s and 50s want someone close to their age: they're done with childrearing and want an adult relationship! |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Tue 09/11/12 08:54 AM
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thanks!! although, i don't think i'm wise so much as observant. i asked my dad if people actually get wiser when they get older. he said, "nope. trust me, they just get older."
i wasn't insulting anyone because of their age. it's just a reality that is quite glaring and very sad. when i visit my parents for the holidays, i do physical activities with them and they're both in their 50s, super great shape, both thin and health conscious people. my dad runs on the treadmill every night for 30 mins and has been doing that for decades. these days he's slowed down a bit but he use to run 1 hour a day up until 3 years ago when he suffered a stroke. my dad was an athlete all his life and it breaks my heart to see him complaining about his health issues because reminds him of his mortality and reminds me that i might face the reality of losing a parent. my mom too. she does zumba and aerobics at a gym 2x a week hanging out with 20 yr old college girls who told me that i have such a "totally cool mom." on top of that, she's a vegan. well my mom had some liver issues (hereditary) pop up 4 yrs ago as she's not ever been a drinker/smoker/unhealthy eater. last year when i was visiting for the holidays, I indulged her and went to the gym with her and after that i said, "i'll race you to the car, whoever gets there last buys lunch!" and she was running pretty quick (i was still running faster) but then tripped and hurt herself badly. i mean she bruised herself! oh man, i felt so horrible about that because i never thought i'd live to see the day where it's evident that my parents are aging. both of them remind me that they're limited because they're "old" when i ask them to do high adrenaline stuff. they're not in their 30s anymore and i'm not a little kid anymore. there's always some sort of scary sad feeling that creeps inside me because reality is inescapable. I am much like your parents that I do stay active and up until now I have not had any major medical problems. I know I have slowed down somewhat as age certainly does catch up to you. I don't think you were insulting anyone because of age either; you are just pointing out the obvious. I can remember being in my 30s and thinking I was quite mature as I was serving in the military and responsible for people's lives. However; looking back I sure did some stupid things. When I hit 30; personally I never thought it as being old as I was just having way too much fun. I thought too I knew exactly what I wanted in dating but turned out I only knew what I didn't want. I am 52 and won't lie that I can still do stupid things but at my age; I don't do them as often as I did at 30. I think until the day we die; we are constantly learning new things in life and about ourselves. Its laughable to believe that at any age we have life all figured out. |
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 Good lord I'll need to put on my reading glasses for this page 
Were you guys writing an autobiography???? They take away the 'pick two above you to have a threesome' forum and you guys start authoring novels in here. Can't you guys just do pictures with captions??? |
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It's interesting to read different people's opinions and thoughts. When I say someone is mature they are more than just emotionally mature. They don't play head games, or go looking for drama. They understand that every action has a reaction, they have goals and ambitions.
As for age just being a number, I always have and always will believe this...especially in love. Yes, age indicates the number of years we have been here on earth and how much cultural and societal changes we've witnessed. Age does not show the personal battles and milestones a person has experienced. While society and culture contribute to who you are, your personal conquests make you you. I am 25 years old and have been through more battles, whether win or lose, in my life than most people twice my age, and because of this I am unlike any other 25 year old. So to look at my age as a definer for who I am just doesn't seem fair if you ask me. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Tue 09/11/12 02:28 PM
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It's interesting to read different people's opinions and thoughts. When I say someone is mature they are more than just emotionally mature. They don't play head games, or go looking for drama. They understand that every action has a reaction, they have goals and ambitions. As for age just being a number, I always have and always will believe this...especially in love. Yes, age indicates the number of years we have been here on earth and how much cultural and societal changes we've witnessed. Age does not show the personal battles and milestones a person has experienced. While society and culture contribute to who you are, your personal conquests make you you. I am 25 years old and have been through more battles, whether win or lose, in my life than most people twice my age, and because of this I am unlike any other 25 year old. So to look at my age as a definer for who I am just doesn't seem fair if you ask me. Who ever said life is fair? Is it fair for men to assume that a woman can't fend for herself; or that she is physically weaker just because she is female? I don't think so but yet this is how women are defined. I am not like any average 52 year old women either; especially after having served in the military and dealing with some horrible things; but guess what I am defined merely because of my age and sex. Yep, its unfair but what are you gonna do? I fought for 20 years to prove to men that I belonged in the military as women could well do the same job. I will also add that at 25; I was dealing with terrorists threats in Europe. Watched friends of mine die but I was still not taken seriously by someone older. It meant squat to them. Is that fair? Its called life. The real measure of maturity is to not take it personally. |
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Were you guys writing an autobiography???? They take away the 'pick two above you to have a threesome' forum and you guys start authoring novels in here. Yes we are. We still need a title for it. Wanna help? . You better be good at punctuation, goddamnit, or we won't be able to hire you. Get your pens at the ready :P
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Were you guys writing an autobiography???? They take away the 'pick two above you to have a threesome' forum and you guys start authoring novels in here. Yes we are. We still need a title for it. Wanna help? . You better be good at punctuation, goddamnit, or we won't be able to hire you. Get your pens at the ready :P
Autobiography? Damn; I thought we were writing a "how to book".
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It's interesting to read different people's opinions and thoughts. When I say someone is mature they are more than just emotionally mature. They don't play head games, or go looking for drama. They understand that every action has a reaction, they have goals and ambitions. As for age just being a number, I always have and always will believe this...especially in love. Yes, age indicates the number of years we have been here on earth and how much cultural and societal changes we've witnessed. Age does not show the personal battles and milestones a person has experienced. While society and culture contribute to who you are, your personal conquests make you you. I am 25 years old and have been through more battles, whether win or lose, in my life than most people twice my age, and because of this I am unlike any other 25 year old. So to look at my age as a definer for who I am just doesn't seem fair if you ask me. Who ever said life is fair? Is it fair for men to assume that a woman can't fend for herself; or that she is physically weaker just because she is female? I don't think so but yet this is how women are defined. I am not like any average 52 year old women either; especially after having served in the military and dealing with some horrible things; but guess what I am defined merely because of my age and sex. Yep, its unfair but what are you gonna do? I fought for 20 years to prove to men that I belonged in the military as women could well do the same job. I will also add that at 25; I was dealing with terrorists threats in Europe. Watched friends of mine die but I was still not taken seriously by someone older. It meant squat to them. Is that fair? Its called life. The real measure of maturity is to not take it personally. I am not saying life is fair nor am I taking anything personally.I am simplying saying although being judged by your age happens all the time, and it has happened to me plenty, it shouldn't. Just like we shouldn't be judged by our gender, race, religion, political views, or sexual orientation. But, we are. If people would just stop being so judgemental, pull their heads out of their *****, and starting treating ALL others like equals, the world could be a much more peaceful place. Now do I ever expect this to happen? NO! |
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Edited by
Duttoneer
on
Wed 09/12/12 02:42 AM
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Age discrimination became an issue in the UK regarding employment in the workplace, there are now laws against age being a factor on whether you are suitable for any particular job. This to me illustrates the extent to which "agism" has risen. I gained a BSc degree at the age of 58 studying part time after a days work, who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yes we all have preferences when it comes to finding a partner in love, and age is an influence to some,but labelling those who do not see age as a barrier in love interests is wrong in my opinion.Live and let live.
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Age discrimination became an issue in the UK regarding employment in the workplace, there are now laws against age being a factor on whether you are suitable for any particular job. This to me illustrates the extent to which "agism" has risen. I gained a BSc degree at the age of 58 studying part time after a days work, who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yes we all have preferences when it comes to finding a partner in love, and age is an influence to some,but labelling those who do not see age as a barrier in love interests is wrong in my opinion.Live and let live. Age discrimination is big here too. I guess I look at it that I am looking to retire in 17 years and if I were in a relationship; I would want that person to retire with me. No fun going on senior citizen trips while your partner is still working. I am just being practical when it comes to love and age. I look at the future; not just go day by day and hope for the best. To me; that is not being very logical and that is how I look at life and relationships. I don't let me emotions rule me; I let my brain do thinking instead. |
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It's interesting to read different people's opinions and thoughts. When I say someone is mature they are more than just emotionally mature. They don't play head games, or go looking for drama. They understand that every action has a reaction, they have goals and ambitions. As for age just being a number, I always have and always will believe this...especially in love. Yes, age indicates the number of years we have been here on earth and how much cultural and societal changes we've witnessed. Age does not show the personal battles and milestones a person has experienced. While society and culture contribute to who you are, your personal conquests make you you. I am 25 years old and have been through more battles, whether win or lose, in my life than most people twice my age, and because of this I am unlike any other 25 year old. So to look at my age as a definer for who I am just doesn't seem fair if you ask me. Who ever said life is fair? Is it fair for men to assume that a woman can't fend for herself; or that she is physically weaker just because she is female? I don't think so but yet this is how women are defined. I am not like any average 52 year old women either; especially after having served in the military and dealing with some horrible things; but guess what I am defined merely because of my age and sex. Yep, its unfair but what are you gonna do? I fought for 20 years to prove to men that I belonged in the military as women could well do the same job. I will also add that at 25; I was dealing with terrorists threats in Europe. Watched friends of mine die but I was still not taken seriously by someone older. It meant squat to them. Is that fair? Its called life. The real measure of maturity is to not take it personally. I am not saying life is fair nor am I taking anything personally.I am simplying saying although being judged by your age happens all the time, and it has happened to me plenty, it shouldn't. Just like we shouldn't be judged by our gender, race, religion, political views, or sexual orientation. But, we are. If people would just stop being so judgemental, pull their heads out of their *****, and starting treating ALL others like equals, the world could be a much more peaceful place. Now do I ever expect this to happen? NO! You are correct that this will never happen. Right now; people won't hire me for their jobs because of my age. All I can do is keep trying and hope someone will hire me regardless of my age; but I am not holding my breath. I spent 20 years fighting for the right to serve in the military as a woman; now fighting for my right as an older person to work. Nothing ever gets easier. |
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Age discrimination became an issue in the UK regarding employment in the workplace, there are now laws against age being a factor on whether you are suitable for any particular job. This to me illustrates the extent to which "agism" has risen. I gained a BSc degree at the age of 58 studying part time after a days work, who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yes we all have preferences when it comes to finding a partner in love, and age is an influence to some,but labelling those who do not see age as a barrier in love interests is wrong in my opinion.Live and let live. Age discrimination is big here too. I guess I look at it that I am looking to retire in 17 years and if I were in a relationship; I would want that person to retire with me. No fun going on senior citizen trips while your partner is still working. I am just being practical when it comes to love and age. I look at the future; not just go day by day and hope for the best. To me; that is not being very logical and that is how I look at life and relationships. I don't let me emotions rule me; I let my brain do thinking instead. I understand your logic and respect your preferences, we all have choices to make in love interests and we are all different. It is the labelling of people who choose to date/marry someone younger or older than themselves that I find objectionable. |
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i think when a person is younger, 8 years seems to be a big difference. when people are older in their 40s and beyond, 8 years would probably be considered lesser of an age gap. the difference from 40 to 48 is minimal compared to 18 and 26. from 40 to 48, people usually have kids or even grown up children who moved out, been homeowners, had several career changes, dealt with financial hardships, etc. as for the 8 yr gap of 18 to 26 it's more of an oppositional comparison. high school/just starting college vs. college/graduated college, cannot legally drink/purchase alcohol vs. can legally drink/purchase alcohol, partying and meeting as many people as possible vs. thinking about finding the "one" to settle down with and have a family, etc. i don't agree that age is "just a number." as a matter of fact, i'm really sick and tired of hearing and reading people's cliched reasoning that age is "just a number." aside from the numerical status, age is indicative of how long a person has been on earth and how much cultural and societal changes they've witnessed but it totally goes against evolutionary laws. being part of different generations creates different mentalities towards life. roaming the earth longer means there's more damaged that have been sustained so unless someone has lived in a bubble or just got defrosted from a cryogenic dome, i find it to be delusional, absolutely ridiculous, and psychologically and physically wrong when some dude my dad's age thinks he has that much in common and "connects" with a chick that's my age or much younger. my father is in his mid 50s and he thinks my female friends are complete airheads. all my friends are at least in their 30s. that should give you some indicator of generation gap that gets caused by age gaps. when i hear or see older people write in their profile that they can outlast us youngsters, i'm going to have to laugh at that. i find that ridiculous. my parents are in their 50s and even they laugh at people their age for being that much in denial about their age. just because you're active when you're older, it doesn't make you strong as someone in their 20s. just because you think you look younger, it doesn't actually mean that you are younger. how you see yourself is going to be different than how people see you, esp. how younger people actually view older people. ashton kutcher married a couger and then left her for someone his age. another fake playboy bunny backed out on marrying hugh heftner because she realized she needs to be with a guy her age. trying to find the exception to the rule and saying people are happy in marriages with huge age gaps won't ever make it the rule. being with someone with a huge age gap is completely against evolutionary reasoning. i'm probably the only person who's going against the grain and saying that it's complete bs and anyone that goes for someone who's that far apart in age has underlining issues that they either refuse to address or is unaware of having. I have underlining issues. Sorry your not feeling well. |
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It's interesting to read different people's opinions and thoughts. When I say someone is mature they are more than just emotionally mature. They don't play head games, or go looking for drama. They understand that every action has a reaction, they have goals and ambitions. As for age just being a number, I always have and always will believe this...especially in love. Yes, age indicates the number of years we have been here on earth and how much cultural and societal changes we've witnessed. Age does not show the personal battles and milestones a person has experienced. While society and culture contribute to who you are, your personal conquests make you you. I am 25 years old and have been through more battles, whether win or lose, in my life than most people twice my age, and because of this I am unlike any other 25 year old. So to look at my age as a definer for who I am just doesn't seem fair if you ask me. Your right on the money! For some people (myself included) living outside of the boxes is far more natural than the man made rules of "norm". I believe you when you say "always will believe this". I'm 53 now and have had the same belief about this issue my whole life. People told me I was wrong or I would change, but this change never took place. I think (not to put down others) it has a lot to do with open-mindedness. The walls we build around us (most of time without us knowing) dictates our reactions to situations. If we never spend the time building those walls we remain fresh and open to more possibilities. |
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In all honesty though, this topic is getting old. Sorry. Had to say it.
. Dead horse flogging. Matters of different opinions here and there. And yes, some people may never change. How much until a topic is just totally a bit much? Well............
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Age discrimination became an issue in the UK regarding employment in the workplace, there are now laws against age being a factor on whether you are suitable for any particular job. This to me illustrates the extent to which "agism" has risen. I gained a BSc degree at the age of 58 studying part time after a days work, who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yes we all have preferences when it comes to finding a partner in love, and age is an influence to some,but labelling those who do not see age as a barrier in love interests is wrong in my opinion.Live and let live. Age discrimination is big here too. I guess I look at it that I am looking to retire in 17 years and if I were in a relationship; I would want that person to retire with me. No fun going on senior citizen trips while your partner is still working. I am just being practical when it comes to love and age. I look at the future; not just go day by day and hope for the best. To me; that is not being very logical and that is how I look at life and relationships. I don't let me emotions rule me; I let my brain do thinking instead. I understand your logic and respect your preferences, we all have choices to make in love interests and we are all different. It is the labelling of people who choose to date/marry someone younger or older than themselves that I find objectionable. Oh, now I understand what you were trying to say. I agree that let people do what they want to do and not judge them. |
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Just wanted to add my thoughts, I can't believe this thread is still going, anyway, we all have are own opinions, how many of us have ended up being with someone, we never thought we would be with, we are not always able to rule our own hearts, I never thought I would end up with someone in their thirties me being in my late forties at the time, I had been with this woman nearly three years, what can I say we both fell for one another, in my longest relationship, whom I refer to as my ex,she too was someone I never thought I would like too be with, we were such complete opposites of one another, too this day I still think about this woman and I still have feelings for her, we were together for 9yrs. oh we were only 4yrs apart, me being senior to her.
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