I dont believe there is 'the one'. I think there are many potential, possible 'ones'. Is true love a myth, a fantasy we create in our own heads? Whatcha reckon?

I believe that there is really just a "one," but to get to that one, many people need to try and fail so they can learn enough about themselves just so when "the one" does come around, they can handle that one and that one can handle them.

no, I do not believe in 'the one' as in one person in a lifetime that is 'right' for us,,because we change throughout our life

I do think we can find or be found by 'the one' who is right for us at a given time and who may or may not choose to put in the work to continue being the one,,,

I really don't know, sometimes i am not even sure if I know what love is.

I am happily married, well I think I am, and I think I love my Husband, but what is it exactly.

I hate being away from him, I feel safe when he is near. I trust him, I respect him, He makes me laugh, I can tell him anything and know that he wont judge me.

I need him in my life as he completes me in some way and just knowing that he is there makes things easier. I enjoy how he looks smells and feels. Could I find it with someone else, yep probably but I have never met anyone else who is like a part of me and that I actually enjoy being with constantly, who i can be myself with and enjoy him just as he is. There is nothing that I would want to change , even if I could. He seems to have been made especially to suit me.

So maybe there are only a few who are really for you.

Interesting Josie. I thought my husband was the one, and then someone else and now I am falling for someone else. That makes 3 men that are so different from each other. All three have won or are winning my heart in different ways.

I know, I think that at different stages we love differently,
When i was younger I was more selfish and it was more about me.
Then it went to where I seemed to put me way behind everything and didnt even know who I was, my life circled around my children and my husband.

Now, my life seems to be stable, I know who I am and what I want. I am happy to be a part of someone elses life, while still keeping my own life and sharing it.

I am not sure if it the person you are with, or just changes you go through.

I think I love easily, just very very differently, I really don't know, if I have loved each person, or just been infatuated, or what it is.

I find it easy to love, but not to fall in love. That takes admiration, respect and hopefully trust.

Romantic love is fleeting. It rarely lasts more than a few years, often less. For a relationship to last, it has to be built of more than that.

It's a choice we make. We can choose the one, or not. We choose who we fall in love with, whether we realize it or not.

For example, did you choose to become a Christian and follow Christ, or were you forced in some way to do so? See, we are given free will to choose to love or not.

I do believe there is one true "Spiritual" mate.

However.....

We seek with our minds and emotions....
and choose accordingly.......

Never allowing our Spirits to interact before our emotions are overwhelmed.

Jmo

That's beautiful.

No, I don't believe there is only one. But there's not a lot either. Finding what Josie and her husband have is not easy but worth the effort. Patience. Lots of patience is what is required.

I totally disagree. On both counts. We don't choose who we fall in love with. Love starts with an attraction. Either mental or physical or both. As you get to know someone better, the attraction either grows or fades and we can't control which way that goes. It just is. Now, I agree that a good relationship requires commitment and THAT is a choice. But, hopefully, you don't commit to someone you don't love. Over time it is possible for those feelings of love to come and go. That's where the decision to be committed comes into play. But, the falling in love...real love, is not a choice.

And, as much as many Christians would like to think it is, Christianity is not a choice. It's a calling like any other religion one follows as an adult. I say "as and adult" because I believe the religion one is taught as a child is more of a form of brainwashing. So, that's not a choice either.

I think there can be more than one throughout the course of our lives, but only one at any given time as we progress through the various stages of change that come from life experience and growth...Josie, Ruth is right, what a beautiful description of your marriage!

I don't believe in soulmates, but I also don't believe that true love is a myth.

Ok, but what if we choose not to answer a calling or to ignore the attraction we feel?

Is there a one? A two? A three? any number?

I believe there is noone.

We are too complex and we are evolving in our lives too many different ways in too many different aspects than to ... then to do what? Be in love?

I have my private views on this, but I am too tired to say them. Basically evolutionary pscyhology. In a nutshell, a couple get trapped first by love, then by social and family pressures, by their conscience, to stay in marriage. That is done to raise children.

What has love got to do with it? It has to help the young couple to go blind, to find the one to marry very attractive. This phase passes.

I've never been married. I hear from my married friends and family, that a good marriage is being with someone who does not irritate you to much or constantly. Everything else falls into place if and when that is given.

There is married life, with its ups and downs, and in my case, single life with its ups and downs. It is imperative that I stay single because I can't avoid being irritated. Can't be done. Impossible.

A good friend of mine got married recently, had two kids with his wife in quick succession. He says he has no time for anything now, but work and marriage. He says that it is different and one of the many ways is that you, as a married man or woman, can co-exist with members of your family without needing to tie down their or your attention with and for each other. In single life the big thing is that you see people less often than constantly, so you tend to have more intense "quality" times together. Married couples can relax that.

In fact, married people tend to be more relaxed, less intense, less excitable, more even-keeled. Is that good? Well, makes for less stress and longer life. Plus the kids enjoy the constancy, the feeling or illusion of security and the stagnancy in life's expectations.

But love lasts? I beleive not. Married people are impossible to pick for compatibility, and the love we feel is particular to the first six months in the life in a partnership. After that there may be caring for each other, support, standing up for each other, sticking with each other and backing up each other; also using the other for help in times in need; there is also division of labour and responisibilities. It is easier to survive as a couple, and much easier to raise children that way. But love? Let's say... something between love and friendship. You screw your wife, but don't screw your friends; you play poker with your friends, and bet on the games, and talk about the girls in the office, but not with your wife.

Basically, I don't know, cuz I ain't never been there.

I had a long term relationship with a woman -- we were "perfectly" suited for each other from many angles. She was smart, so was I; she was sexy, so was I; she was interesting, so was I; she was not demanding material things, so wasn't I; she was socially exuberant, and I wasn't; she was using me for sex, and so was I using her; she and I could talk for ever; I said jokes and she laughed at them, realy unexpectedly uproariously. She had two more boyfriends for a stretch of about twenty years, beside me, and I wasn't jealous.

Unfortunately she had a series of mini-strokes, and that put an end to all that. We are both older, too, now.

The relationship was not smooth sailing; we constantly broke up and came back together, but it was sweet all along. We were both emotionally volatile and afraid of the other one's might over us.

Now I see her character faults more than ever, and they don't bother me any, since we are no longer seeing each other. She is a horrible person, and so am I. Depends how you look at us. We are both moral and upright and want the best for the world, but we are also both incredibly self-centred and inwardly turning, despite being or else acting as extraverts. In other words, we don't mind if others are happy, and it is more comfortable for us to believe that others are okay, but we are both selfish, and could not take care of even a canary bird because of our voracious sense of narcissism.

Neither of us is narcissistic, as such, but the general tendency seems to be so. We are not displaying constant and classic signs of narcissism, but we are keenly aware that when push came to shove, neither of us would be capable of any sort of major commitment or major sacrifice for anyone else or for each other.

Is this what love is? I have always been attracted to her, needed her, wanted her, thirsted her and hungered her, but never felt that "love" feeling with her. Yet we were suited like very nicely for each other.

How one responds is always a choice. But, the feelings...those can't be forced. You do not choose a man or woman and say "I will fall in love with you". You can choose to be with them for other reasons. But, either the connection is there or it's not.

Now stop being difficult so I can get the hell outta here and run my errands.

I would really enjoy sitting down with a elderly couple who still hold hands when they go for a walk.
I bet they have some wonderful stories to share. Love is what we make it.

I don't choose who I'm attracted to or who I fall in love with. I choose whether I want to act on those feelings, though.

i do believe!
i believe in happily ever afters.
i've been told i'm stupid for believing so,
but BITE ME.
i'm sure everyone has a soulmate,
but it's sooo insanely nearly impossible to find each other.
come on;
there are billions of people on earth.
most just give up,
and by give up i mean settle.
i'm sure some do get their happily ever afters though.
hooray for them!