I had a friend tell me that he went to meet a woman he had been talking to at another dating site. She wanted to do a short meet at a coffee shope and he was all for it. They hadn't talked on the phone but had conversed through emails. He was pretty excited about the meet.

And then he arrived to what he called an "Interview session". Said he felt like he was applying for a position to date this girl. I have never experienced this, but apparently this does happen. The questions asked vary, but I gather it was the "tone" of how she treated the meet. Like it was business.

Anyways, was wondering how people here treated a first meet. I know it is all about getting to know someone, but I also feel you can't make the meet feel like "Hi! How are you"?....then fifteen minutes of questions and then ending with "well, I will let you know if you get the position".

I don't like just meets.You can never get the feel of a person in just an hour or less.I like a full day.Then at least you know it is worth persuing or not!
J.M.O

It seems to me, in your case stated above, that
the 'interview' questions might have all been
asked ahead of time.

Simply to avoid that awkwardness.
She sounds..careful.
He sounds..unwilling to adjust to that.

Fail.

Honestly if I felt like I was in an interview I would probably not end up being interested in a second meet up. I understand being business minded but not so much in your personal relationships. Seems a bit presumptuous to me... like "if I like your answers I'll allow you to take me out on a date"

Usually my meetups don't last very long when I tell the guy I have never been married and that I served in the military; so lucky if I even get to 20 minutes.

I've seen other women on sites like these saying the first time they meet someone isn't a date, it's just a meet and greet. That sounds like what you're talking about in the OP. I guess it's a way to see if you actually get along with the person enough to see them again? Too much like an interview for me. I don't even like the interview style conversations online that some people like to have.

If I agree to meet someone for a date, it will be a date. If we hit it off, great. If not, no need to go on another date.

I haven't had as many problems since I got rid of the bright light I used to shine in his eyes.

I bet the snap of the latex gloves cuts
the herd down too.

I may have to give that up, too, if Mr. Right is ever going to come along.

Mr. Right is freaking demanding.

I agree to the whole meeting someone and enjoying the whole day getting to know each other as the day goes on and I can make a decision then whether they are right for me or not and if they are not right for me I will tell them.

Seriously.

My understanding of this situation (again, this is me going by what my friend told me and therefore it is one sided)was that while they had both asked questions before they met, he was anticipating just a simple meet and just going with the flow. Instead, she went into question mode, and while he would answer, she was studying him. His words were he felt like a lab rat in a maze. Sure, asking questions and talking about yourself is normal to getting to know someone. His point was that it didn't feel natural. It was as if she were trying to judge him, and he felt like he was one of many guys who were applying to win the job of being with her. I felt bad cause I ribbed him a lot about it and this meet has seriously freaked him out.

I think the interview mode would make most people uncomfortable on a first "date" or meet or whatever they want to call it. If the person doing the interviewing can't see that, they're likely not to get a second date.

My Blow up doll and I got along great on our first date!!!!

Myself I have done the coffee shop thing and my last one was at Chili's with the understanding I would pay for mine and he was to pay for his just to see how things went..Sorry I can tell within a few minutes of meeting one if I want to go any farther then just friends ....

I prefer just casual conversations myself I do not feel like being drilled....If I talked to them in e-mail then they had a chance to get to know me that way...

I would rather the first meet be a short one...unless the chemistry is there and or we are having a good time then if we want to we can do somthing eles... But then the short ones also give you and out if you need it..

While I have no problem meeting someone in a coffee shop, I don't purposefully schedule quick meetups. If a date isn't going well, it will be pretty clear and can just be ended early.

If someone purposefully scheduled a 20 minute meet instead of a date with me, it would feel like they're waiting for it to go badly so they could leave early.

That is hilarious. If I meet someone ..the last thing I want to do is take part in a interview.
I like to treat it as a outing with a friend. Be normal and yourself..as if you have known each other. The information will naturally start to come out. The worst that can happen is you will have a new friend.

LOL.. You funny. I like you.

it takes a very long time of chatting online and talking on phone befor i even consider meeting.. For me to have agreed meeting a person, i must have been 70% convinced that he or she is worth being friends with.. Have never had a dull meeting with any online friend, you would never know its a first meeting cause of how we flow and talk..