Hi all,
We all dream of the perfect relationship! But are we really sure we're always ready to fully open up and give love the chance it really needs to blossom?
Are we ever able to allow let go of our inner fears and prejudices? Are we ever able to give ALL without fearing it might not get ALL?

Well, I'm not dreaming of the 'perfect relationship'. I'm looking for a real one, with all it's ups and downs. Part of that is giving all without expecting anything back, it's called love.

You need to tell that to my 2nd ex-wife

I can give 'all', but I think I have given so often without getting it back(in romantic relationships anyhow),

that I now have to receive someone elses 'all' before I leave myself vulnerable to another dissapointment,,,

Nahhh, she'll learn,lol

We can only hope, if not, I feel sorry for the next guy. Thank goodness she's out of my life.

As much as i agree that there is no PERFECT relationship, the question is are we ever bold and sincere enough to fully communicate our feelings and needs in our relationships?
We are mostly quick to point accusing fingers the other way when things don't work out the way we want, but are we always able to candidly express our inner feelings to our partner on how we truly feel and what we really want?

??????? If I don't feel comfortable telling him how I feel, I wouldn't bother being in a relationship with him. I'm an all-or-nothing type.

I don't need to be in a relationship to do that. Fears and prejudices don't rely on being in a relationship. I could go get therapy or something. I think those are two different subjects. If I fear something, I either do something about it, or I leave it at that. However it's not like I spend time worrying about things. It's bad for your health.

Lots of people do that. I think it happens more if there is a good friendship between the two .

I agree with blueeyes2000, the best relationships start out with friendship. It also helps to talk about life in general in the beginning, and not about sex on the first conversations, and even before you meet the person. It makes a person wonder, if the other person really wants a relationship, or a friend with benefits.

Good luck to you!

We live in a world where we want everything now. A lot of people do not have the patience to wait for something. You can live in the same city and find someone whom you really like, and you jump in to a realtionship not realizing how much work there is going to be. I have watched myself do it, friends do it, and the result is always the same. It fails. Yeah, there are times that relationships started this way can work. But from what I've seen, they just never work.

For me, I am at the point where my life isn't defined by being with someone. I started off years ago wanting to be "in love" with a woman (the kind of romance you see in film). I believed I had that when I was married at 23, but turns out I was wrong. Doesn't mean I don't believe someone special is out there. Just means that my life is not defined by it like it once was. If I do meet someone then I would be willing, ready and able to give my all for the relationship. Would I be afraid it wouldn't work? Of course......but to not give my all would make me regret, and I have been there too. Basically, I would risk it and would devote myself to her and to the relationship. Who knows.....it could be magical. Goof out!

No, we don't live in a world where "we want it now." Not all of us are baby boomers here. We are patient with the right people who come into our lives. Only if they don't confuse us with weird head games. The wrong ones we get rid of. A relationship shouldn't be solely based on work. Yes it requires a certain give and take, mostly give in the right sense but a lot of the population is all take. It fails because people lie, they aren't who they say they are. You give an inch and they take a mile. Not the notion that we like someone and things just happen.

My guy lives 1 hour 1/2 away but we see each other every chance we get. It doesn't feel like work at all because we both want it. Its mutual. That's the way life works.

Nobody wants to be in love. We want to be accepted and appreciated for who we are. We want honesty above all else. Love is just a verb. Its what we give to people we care about. You aren't going to find that "someone special" if you keep chasing potholes. Keep lying to people. Lying about who you really are. You're never going to find respect for yourself or others if you constantly lead them on. We can choose how to define our lives. Who we allow in and out. If you're not straight up with someone (regardless of hurting their feelings) then you deserve to be alone and no sane person in their right mind would ever dream of being with someone like that. I wish more people would quit living in a fantasy land and just be real. I see this happen with my friends all the time...It would be phucking magical if guys stopped with the bs cop out lines and just tell the truth.

Disagree. I can't think of how many times experts (I'm talking about analysts, therapists, professionals who do more research on this than I do) I have heard say "We live in a I want it now" world. You may be different. I didn't say that everyone is that way. I simply stated that this is the way that the world is, and most in it just don't have patience for most things (including relationships). How one handles there own life is there business, and I will leave it to that person to do with it as they feel.

All I know for certain....

the older I get, the less I expect love to be easy.

It is hard work, and patience and sacrifice. THAT is the reason most of my past relationships failed...

Back then, I just thought love would be handed to me on a silver platter...I was an idiot.

Now that I am old and crusty....I find that the harder I work for love....the more love I receive.

I work my butt off for it.

Who made these people "experts"? See I never liked the word. Just because you do research on a subject and document it doesn't make it a final thought. Science and human evolution changes everyday. Based on how we are at our core, we are hardwired to protect and work together as a team, not compete and take more than what we need. Now if you said this, or something along the lines I could see your point more. Maybe give both sides of the argument. So what you're saying is, everyone doesn't equal "the world?" Interesting. I disagree with the entire statement as to me, it doesn't represent our full makeup as a species. The way the world is, I believe, reacts directly upon how people treat us and constantly treat us from here on. This is why I suspect you believe this statement to be true. This is my theory based on what I've seen so far. It could change, I don't know. Based on evolutionary timelines, its known to veer into other directions.

Krupa, I agree with the first part of that but if they are my friend and they need me, I don't see it as work. I think of "work" more along the lines of hard labor. Something I feel is an obligation. Not for my friends. Like I said, I think its human instinct to protect and love the ones we care about when they need us.

if i am really in to this person ,i will work my *** off to make us work. no relatonship doesnt need a little work once in a while.

I give my all regardless of whether or not I will get it back.

Thankfully I do get it back.

But every relationship that works needs people to give and be commited, otherwise it can't continue to work

For anyone who has loved, lost, and objectively reflected on what happened, i'd think we'd get to understand that we must be willing to go the extra mile to make sure things work out well :-) Compassionate listening and willingness to LEARN the other person are skills worth putting in an extra effort for :-)

One of the reasons I married my husband is because it just felt "easy" to be with him...I was involved with a couple of "master manipulators" in the past who tried to talk me out of my feelings when things didn't feel "quite right" in the relationship...Somehow the problems were all my "fault." Supposedly I wasn't working "hard enough."...Or I didn't focus on love enough or "something!"...Finally I realized that my feelings were telling me to "get out" before I got "brainwashed" anymore!...None of this went on when I met and spent time with my husband. We got along great and it felt "good" to be together. And neither one of us had to "force" anything on each other.