What a great word!

"love"

So many different ways to look at it, and it's there for the taking. Does love choose us or do we choose love? Even if we say we can suppress love it is still there knocking on our door. People try to make it a frontal lobe issue as if it is something that was not created. Something that is not bigger than ourselves. Where does love come from, and how did it get here. What gives life the will to live, and love the will to blossom.

love is, was, and always will be

Is that something we think we have the ability to turn on or off? Maybe we think too much of ourselves. Turn love off in our minds and we are unhappy because it is still there and there is nothing we can do about it but pretend we are in control.

we truly do define love for ourself, and from that moment on, we choose to define who and what we 'love' as well,,,

I missed a part in there. I also do not agree that falling in love (without deciding that you're going to fall in love) is that infatuation you feel when meeting someone. Love takes time and isn't going to happen immediately.

Gonna have to agree to diagree with ya MsH. No of the men that I have fallen in love with are who I would have chosen to fall in love with if I had a choice.

The only choice I could have made was to decide not to pursue a relationship with any of them.

How could love be a choice,i feel sad for you if you have never met someone and instantly you both emit an uncontrolable feeling for each other,this may not be love but it is definately not chosen.

That's infatuation. Love is a way of behaving, it's not a feeling. Romantic love includes nurturing the infatuation to keep it alive, because infatuation is typically short lived.

No one has given a clear definition of love yet. It's different for everyone?

BULLOCKS!

If love is an emotion it must be the same for us all the same way all other emotions are. We all understand happy or sad or fear or anger.

All our emotions are there to help us do one of two things. Either survive as long as we can or to pass on our genes.

I understand commitment. I understand symbiosis. But, is love more than that? If so, how is it more?

Some people say they're in love because someone "makes them happy." Others say they're in love when someone is making them sad. I don't believe both of these feelings are love.

As to the choice notion, you don't have a choice about attraction. It happens so fast there's no time to think. A man admires a beautiful woman before he even realizes he's looking at one.

But, you can choose to devote yourself to another person.

Love is just different for everyone. Sometimes we are open to the possibility of it, sometimes we are not. I have a beautiful man messaging me at the moment, but he has only just lost his wife. Timing is crucial, he thinks he is ready?

How can love not be a feeling?

For me the initial attraction may start with the way a person makes me feel but to fall and remain in love, definitely requires some form of reciprocation of my feelings.

I don't understand love not being a feeling, either. Or how some can think it's the same for everyone.

May for some, who feel that love is a choice, it's a control thing.

I know that I definitely like to control how emotionally involved I am with some people that I have relationships with but I know that this is a self defense/self preservation mechanism.

Love is more than a feeling. When you are married it is like you become one and the power of it consumes you..

You cannot love who you are not around

continuing to allow the circumstances in which love may flourish,, is a choice,,,

Again, will have to agree to disagree with you.

I have fallen in love with someone that I wasn't around. There are examples on here (Mingle), of people that are in long distance relationships.



I do believe that this though.

Biochemically love is no different than eating chocolate.

I'm suggesting that love not only isn't an emotion, but isn't even real. Instead it's some kind of social construct. There are a number of cultures that have no word for what we call love in their language. If it is a human emotion I think it would be shared by humans across cultures. Yes?

So, because you haven't experienced love, you think it must not be real?

Yes. Absolutely.....that is exactly how it works.

no joke....I am serious

I have experienced commitment. I have experienced teamwork. I have experienced the desire to protect and care for another. I have experienced lust and infatuation. But, I haven't experienced love in the way I understand it's supposed to be. Maybe I'm simply wrong about how it feels, but it seems no knows how it feels because no one has been able to tell me.

Saying it's different for everyone is a cop out. If it is a real human emotion then we'd all have similar experiences with it. If not, Why not?

When a woman makes it more of a pain in the butt than what she is actually worth...you best believe, I will happily walk away.

I ain't here to train no damned puppy...I am here for a woman who knows what she wants...and a chick who throws her insecurities on me will quickly find that I don't play that crap..I demand an actual woman who is my equal...if she can't handle the pressure. She should kick her own a$$ to the curb

Everyone isn't the same, so of course they're going to have different experiences. It happens all throughout life, not just when it comes to love.