I was surfing the web, and came across a discussion where someone asked how to tell if someone was transgender. Most of the responses were that the only way was to ask, but you don't have the right to ask.

I disagree. I think we certainly do have the right to know such information about someone we are dating.

What are your thoughts?

I think if you had to ask maybe you don't know enough about that person to date them. But, I also do feel that it is HORRIBLY wrong for someone not to advise someone of this right upfront.

I feel transgendered person should be upfront about it when dating. I can understand why they would want to with hold that information, but they should be honest and upfront about it. Not everyone is open to dating one who is transgendered, and they should respect others rights just as much as others should respect their rights to be transgendered.

I totally agree.

We do not allow transgender, transvestites, cross dressers etc. This works against what we're trying to do here. This is an adult website, granted, but we do want to keep it more in the mainstream of dating. For those who are into that sort of lifestyle, there are sites geared towards that. While we certainly do not condemn anyone for their preferences, we do have a goal, and this type of lifestyle simply does not fit in with our commitment, of providing a nice atmosphere for our users.

We are open to the gay community, sure, but extremists, no.

How would you know, though Mark....if they didn't tell Mingle.

I just found it interesting how offended people seemed by the one who posted the question. They said you don't have a right to know such information, because it's medical history. But, I disagree, because it changes ones identity, and we have the right to know a persons true identity, at least I would hope we still have that right.

I think anyone that wouldn't tell is being extremely selfish and deceitful. I don't understand why someone would not tell. Would they want to risk getting to really like the person, and later them finding out?

Well, they could be afraid that one would get violent with them. I can understand why they would be afraid to tell, but at the same time, I feel they would be obligated to disclose such information when getting into a relationship.

I think they put themselves at much higher risk when not telling, because if they're with someone who would get violent if they told, what do they think would happen if they found out they with held such information from them?

Yes, I absolutely do think we have the right to ask in a dating situation. Otherwise, maybe not. And I agree that they should be up front about it. I think it would take a special person to be able to overlook this type of a disclosure.

Yes, and from what I've read and heard in order go through with the operation, you must go through counseling and such before, so those who choose to go through know full well of what they are getting into. I think if they are able to make such a difficult and drastic decision like that, then they can handle being rejected by someone who may not be open to dating transgenders.

this.

Yeah, I think if you have to ask after like 3 years or so, then maybe there's bigger concerns with the relationship to worry about, but if you're just getting to know one another and just starting to date, I don't see anything wrong with asking, it's part of getting to know someone.

So what you're really saying is, crotch grabbing on the first date isn't acceptable anymore?

Apparently some get offended by such. I encourage it though.

That's a really messed-up policy. I suppose next you will call someone extreme if they're missing an eye and wearing a prosthesis.

I have my own thoughts about that whole nature of gender, and why anyone feels the need for surgical correction, kind of thing. But they are who they are. You know, if everyone self-disclosed those parts of themselves that were problematic, I'd have never married and I wouldn't have dated 2/3rds of the guys I've dated because I'd have known ahead of time and could avoid them. You don't make people self-disclose here when they're cheaters, narcissists, sociopaths... But you'll pick on the transgendered. Well, guess which groups do more damage. Quit catering to people who are extremely in the closet (let's face it, otherwise they could just say "sorry, not interested" and move on) and get with the 21st century.

Just saying.

Referencing the whole "no transgendered" thing here, of course. There's no reason it couldn't be an option when they put their gender in their profile. And it's not a sexual fetish, so there's nothing "extreme" about having it here. Nobody is ever going to get used to these people if we keep shoving them into the fetish ghetto.

Oh just checking.

I agree. Character traits are one thing that are fleeting. Someone may grow out of being a cheater or a creep or any of those types of non tangibles,,,but I think physical attributes need to be disclosed honestly. People are generally dating based upon a GENDER preference and to be deceitful about what ones gender is is a terrible thing to do to someone ,, in my opinion.


People that live that type of deception should not be so easily offended.

So you're saying my rights don't matter as long as we accept transgenders?