If you are a great giver, you can always forgive as much as what it takes, yet trusting someone should be taken in different context. I have trusted people but in the end they have ruined it, and yet I have forgiven them wholeheartedly.

Lesson learned: Keep on giving and learn how to move on. Yes, I said move on - this is my favorite phrase

love you baby girl

Love you too, Dada. You haven't heard from me lately, so yes I am trying to move on again.

Of course!

If someone cheats I'll forgive them but I will move on. Cheating is a deal breaker. Problem is the one doing the bad thing has the gall to judge the other person for not forgiving them completely.

If you screw up; and that is whatever you do; it's not your right to get a do over. Some things are deal breakers. I'll forgive but I'll also move on.

spoken like a true woman; the "people can change" or I can change him stance. Sorry but I'm not going to risk it.

I mean would you hire a guy that has a theft problem? or someone who abuses kids to babysit your kids? I mean, people can change.

Sure people can change but you also damage a relationship. It's not the right of the person that knowingly hurts someone else to get another chance. Why do men cheat on some women over and over? Because the woman thinks he can change. will he? odds are no way.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Be it credit, or jobs, or relationships.

If you cheat or lie, I'm not going to allow you to do that to me again. IT's called respect. And I'm not going to let someone take advantage of me again.

Sick of people that hurt others thinking it's their right to be trusted again so easily.

Forgiveness is for self

Whether you can fit it into your "standards" is another thing

When talking about honesty, fidelity, etc, not being able to trust someone because they have broken that trust is a miserable feeling. Been there, done that. It's no way to live. Life is too short not to be happy. Everyone is different. Some people CAN work through these issues, some can't. I know from experience that I cannot. Now if it's an issue of, "Oh honey, I'm sorry, I broke your grandma's expensive vase", then THAT I can forgive.

Of course.
Real forgiveness includes forgetting...as far as the east is from the west (as the scriptures say.) We humans struggle with that but it's a nice goal.

Very well said!

Exactly how I feel. I'll forgive you, we can probably even be friends at some point. But continuing on as if you didn't break my trust isn't gonna happen. I give my total loyalty, and if you can't return yours to me, I'm moving on. Simple as that.

I'm still on good terms with all my exes. But ask how many of the unfaithful ones what I said when they asked for a second chance. Not one of them will tell you I said yes. Lol

I can forgive a man for toolish behavior. But I am nice like that. I was asked once by a guy who I guess used to be my friend if I hated him point blank. I forgave the fact that the guy thinks he is that important for me to hold a grudge against. Haven't heard from the guy since, but I don't worry too much about hating someone who makes it difficult to be friends. I am a pretty forgiving person in general. I forgave my last boyfriend for lying to me. Was a hard phone call to make but I did it.

You called that guy on the phone just to tell him that you forgive him? Gonna have to messge me that convo because Im curious how it went. I would prefer to do that face to face if the option is there of course.

No...well initially he called me and rung him back and we started talking...He said he was going to remain single for a while and we got to talking about stuff. I mentioned how much it hurt that he lied to me, to my surprise he actually listened; a rarity in my life. Wish I could transcribe it all for you but that was the gist of it. I guess I thought it was now or never if I didn't talk about it then. I prefer not to keep things bottled up.

i used to be the unforgiving type but i learned to do it i find myself doing it all the time hmmmmmmmm first step for me was learning to look into myself and start forgiveness there ive done things in my past that are down right wrong n eivl n think no matter what i do in life to try and much up for it my actions now wont wash those away but yea gettin back to that forgiveness while not easy it does help