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| Topic: What is love...? | |
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that. 
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others  )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always  good changes too!
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. |
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too 
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me 
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. |
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. I suppose I would do those things without a man also but the persepctives of my male friends has simply enhanced my own I will say though that I am not sure if any of them was ever good enough of a listener to ever learn anything from me the daggone prima donnas
you sound busy....I have been thinking about getting some birding in I haven't done much in the last few years! |
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. I suppose I would do those things without a man also but the persepctives of my male friends has simply enhanced my own I will say though that I am not sure if any of them was ever good enough of a listener to ever learn anything from me the daggone prima donnas
you sound busy....I have been thinking about getting some birding in I haven't done much in the last few years! Actually, some of the guys do learn things from me. I just taught a friend of mine how to lay down laminate flooring. I guess its because I am a Tomboy at heart. LOL Yeah between those hobbies I metioned, sewing costumes, my bands, and renovations; I hardly have time for work. Me, I am looking so forward to some long distance cycling when the weather is better. I did 18 miles today on my stationary bike so I will be in some sort of shape for the spring/summer.
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Love...
When someone enters your life... and you ask, is she the one I was waiting for ?? When you turn to church, coz your scared, your confused,but to erase every doubt in your heart, there come signals around you, just to say, yes, she's the one you've always waited for.... When you start to write to her, without expecting a reply in return, but there's a light of hope somewhere down there.... When she replies to every mail of yours, not realising ... that she's falling in love... When the 2 love birds get a smile each time that they read what the other one's written... When the passion and the desire grows with each passing day.... When your girl comes up to you one day and says tat she's got Cancer, and its terminal....... and the only thought in your mind ... is to marry her.... With tat thought in mind, I asked her if we could spend more time together...... I guess my way of asking was wrong, and she of course wasn't in the right frame of mind....... so she got annoyed.... she spoke of a parting ways...... I was shocked.... completely shocked.... and with the thought of loosing her forever, I said....... " come online I wanna chat, else I will end my life right here " Now...... my girl is angry with me because I spoke those words..... And she does not want to get back.... I dunno why, but nobody is trying to understand what I felt at tat time, and why those words came out.... I promised her, gave her my word, tat it wouldn't happen again.... But she ain't listening.... Whoever reads this post........ please pray, that she comes back to me..... Coz I know this is love........ and I don wanna loose it |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 02/19/12 07:41 PM
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? wow that's amazing! I haven't had my bike out yet - it's still in winter chains!!! Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. I suppose I would do those things without a man also but the persepctives of my male friends has simply enhanced my own I will say though that I am not sure if any of them was ever good enough of a listener to ever learn anything from me the daggone prima donnas
you sound busy....I have been thinking about getting some birding in I haven't done much in the last few years! Actually, some of the guys do learn things from me. I just taught a friend of mine how to lay down laminate flooring. I guess its because I am a Tomboy at heart. LOL Yeah between those hobbies I metioned, sewing costumes, my bands, and renovations; I hardly have time for work. Me, I am looking so forward to some long distance cycling when the weather is better. I did 18 miles today on my stationary bike so I will be in some sort of shape for the spring/summer.
my bike is stilled chained up - another week or 2 and I'll be riding |
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? wow that's amazing! I haven't had my bike out yet - it's still in winter chains!!! Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. I suppose I would do those things without a man also but the persepctives of my male friends has simply enhanced my own I will say though that I am not sure if any of them was ever good enough of a listener to ever learn anything from me the daggone prima donnas
you sound busy....I have been thinking about getting some birding in I haven't done much in the last few years! Actually, some of the guys do learn things from me. I just taught a friend of mine how to lay down laminate flooring. I guess its because I am a Tomboy at heart. LOL Yeah between those hobbies I metioned, sewing costumes, my bands, and renovations; I hardly have time for work. Me, I am looking so forward to some long distance cycling when the weather is better. I did 18 miles today on my stationary bike so I will be in some sort of shape for the spring/summer.
my bike is stilled chained up - another week or 2 and I'll be riding My two bikes are suspended from my ceiling in the garage. I would love to be riding in a couple of weeks. I am so jealous. |
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Love is...
NavyGirl's pink hair. :D |
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Love is... NavyGirl's pink hair. :D Aww. How kind.
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I can only tell you what "love" is, or what I believe it is. Love is.....
Happiness Sadness Pain Joy Thrilling Exhausting Bewitching Exhillerating Frustrating Loss Gain It is so many things. Good and bad...you have to take them both, cause love will test you....no matter how strong you and your lover are. |
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. |
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. :) |
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. :) and yes that is from the bible but i believe that is LOVE |
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The human mind is dynamic, we are capable of loving and also having additional emotions at the same time. however, actions are our primary method of communicating our feelings, thereby interpreted as our level of devotion when considering how much we "love" someone. Simply put, everything is relative concerning emotions
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? wow that's amazing! I haven't had my bike out yet - it's still in winter chains!!! Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. I suppose I would do those things without a man also but the persepctives of my male friends has simply enhanced my own I will say though that I am not sure if any of them was ever good enough of a listener to ever learn anything from me the daggone prima donnas
you sound busy....I have been thinking about getting some birding in I haven't done much in the last few years! Actually, some of the guys do learn things from me. I just taught a friend of mine how to lay down laminate flooring. I guess its because I am a Tomboy at heart. LOL Yeah between those hobbies I metioned, sewing costumes, my bands, and renovations; I hardly have time for work. Me, I am looking so forward to some long distance cycling when the weather is better. I did 18 miles today on my stationary bike so I will be in some sort of shape for the spring/summer.
my bike is stilled chained up - another week or 2 and I'll be riding My two bikes are suspended from my ceiling in the garage. I would love to be riding in a couple of weeks. I am so jealous. right it's probably a little warmer here than where u are- it won't be summer weather in early March but there should be some sweat shirt days - actaully the early part of yesterday felt like spring, One thing about men I can tell you - men closer to our age are usually a little bit better at knowing when to flirt all over town, and when to concentrate on you only when u r together with him. Prolly comes from years of screwing it up & losing the ones they really want. Finally learning. SO I think we do change the men we love or have loved in w/e capacity....not necessarily on purpose. expereince changes people |
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Incidentially, if a man leaves his wife of 25 years for a younger woman; you are trying to tell me he never loved her in the first place? wow that's amazing! I haven't had my bike out yet - it's still in winter chains!!! Yep. And that is a hard thing to accept. But when you do, it is so liberating. I don't belive it. I think they very much did love each other as they married each other. I just think over the years they grew apart and fell out of love. There is a difference in my opinion between being in-love and loving. I still love my ex wife but I am not in Love with her. I am not talking about when you divorced; I am talking about when you first fall in love and marry. I don't believe that you would marry and be with a person for 25 years if you never loved her in the first place. You may have fallen out of love with that person but initially do did love that person. You may not believe it, but I lived that life for 26 years. I loved my ex with all my heart, but he informed me that he never loved me and he only got married because it was time and everyone said he should. It was a game to him and I believed his lies. Was it love you might ask, that I had for him? Yes it was. Just because love might be based on lies, does not make it any less of a love. So no, he did not fall out of love with me, and he never initally loved me. Wow, that is sad but I am sure that is not the norm for long term relationships. I often did wonder if people married out of necessity or because society expects you too. Either way; its two lives that have wasted many years when they could have been much happier. Guess I should consider myself lucky that I didn't marry and go through that.
I would not change my choices but people make choices to marry for as many reasons as there are stars in the sky (some brighter than others )
and people make choices to split up for as many reasons as there are grains of sand on the beach and also people (me included) say really stupid things sometimes and we are usually at our stupidest when it comes to love how long does it take to get a passing grade in Love IQ???
Yeah, I can't disagree with what you said. I often thought folks married for companionship ad of course to procreate. I personally never saw a reason for me to marry but then again there isn't a man out there that would ever accept me for who I am or could handle me. As far as Love IQ, I would put money on you to pass as I would't get one thing right when it comes to love.
I don't think it's an IQ we can have alone being accepted for who we are is so essential. it is something that many seem to fear - That they won't be accepted & that their partner will try to change them.... at least from what I have read on here - over the years that we ahve BOTH been ob here! People cry out that they don't want their partner to change then but thinking back on things...I have changed with each lover and friend who I have ever loved - always good changes too!
I think you are one of the few that saw positive changes in yourself. Most of us haven't. I have no wish to be someone else as that is what men try to do to me. They suddenly want me to be dumb and completely dependent. I also enjoy my military band and suddenly they want me to quit where as I would just cut down but never quit. Its really about control and I have no wish to control or be controlled. However; that has just been my experiences with guys. I don't expect anything to change with guys my age as they are pretty set in their ways much as I am. I agree completely those aren't the kinds of changes I meant I meant things like fun understanding new hobbies new ways to think new technical skills and good recipes new music & ways to sing and dance and sex. new things about sex and intimacy too
those are the kinds of changes I refer too wouldn't forsake a one and all in all I am still....for better or for worse me
I don't consider those things changing; I consider them learning new things. Personally; I am always wanting to learn new things. Just recently joined an astronomy club and joined a club about understanding Tarot cards. I also want to get into Ghost hunting. Fact is those things you mentioned as changes are things I would do normally anyways as I have an enquiring mind. Its normally the guy that doesn't want to participate in these things and that is okay as its his choice. I suppose I would do those things without a man also but the persepctives of my male friends has simply enhanced my own I will say though that I am not sure if any of them was ever good enough of a listener to ever learn anything from me the daggone prima donnas
you sound busy....I have been thinking about getting some birding in I haven't done much in the last few years! Actually, some of the guys do learn things from me. I just taught a friend of mine how to lay down laminate flooring. I guess its because I am a Tomboy at heart. LOL Yeah between those hobbies I metioned, sewing costumes, my bands, and renovations; I hardly have time for work. Me, I am looking so forward to some long distance cycling when the weather is better. I did 18 miles today on my stationary bike so I will be in some sort of shape for the spring/summer.
my bike is stilled chained up - another week or 2 and I'll be riding My two bikes are suspended from my ceiling in the garage. I would love to be riding in a couple of weeks. I am so jealous. right it's probably a little warmer here than where u are- it won't be summer weather in early March but there should be some sweat shirt days - actaully the early part of yesterday felt like spring, One thing about men I can tell you - men closer to our age are usually a little bit better at knowing when to flirt all over town, and when to concentrate on you only when u r together with him. Prolly comes from years of screwing it up & losing the ones they really want. Finally learning. SO I think we do change the men we love or have loved in w/e capacity....not necessarily on purpose. expereince changes people I agree that experience in life changes people. All I can tell you about men my age are angry and bitter that the person they loved divorced them. This has made them nasty immature men that tell you they love yet will use a person and not have any regard for that person's feelings. This is why I don't believe in love anymore except for my family and friends. I know they won't let me down; they won't leave me, and they won't hurt me. I have had lots of men say they love me but I won't say it back because I don't believe them. Its like some game that they play and I am not playing it. |
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Never having to say sorry Sorry...I don't agree with this. I think there are times you need to own up and say you are sorry. Why? I make mistakes, and I f**k up, ALOT! I dont mean to, I certainly dont try to. But I have never, had a problem, taking the blame for my actions, especially , when I end up being in the wrong. And this is not an excuse, but im still learning the slow pace of real life, outside of drugs, where you dont just storm through life, and not look deeply, at what your doing, and saying, before you do, and say, them. Ive been clean for 4 years, but I definitely dont have the tact, that a 49 year old woman, should have. But I am learning. Thus my criminal record at Mingle. I like to have fun here, but I also wont take chit, and try to defend myself, (which is not allowed on Mingle).You report them and the mods deal with them. To me thats like snitching, and im not a snitch, but if I wanna play here, I have to play by the rules. Im out of "sorry's" with the mods, and thats probably a good thing for me. It makes me really think, about what im typing, and its effect on me, the mods, and others on Mingle, before I type. And reminds me, im accountable for all I do, or say. |
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