My ex and I parted on very bad feelings and his family does not like me at all because of things he has said. The only member of that family that ever made me feel like I belonged was my ex father-in-law. My ex father-in-law just passed a few minutes ago and I am already wondering...should I hold my head up and pay my respects, or stay away and send a card? I dearly loved this man and so did all of my kids, but with the way his family acts toward me, I don't know if I should go to the visitation, or stay home.

Pay your respects if you want to.

Nod at the A holes. And go home.

dear kim,just pay your respect,but stay home,and try to bigin another life,think's you are "reborn" .i wish you a sweet new year,and be courages,this is very dificult but by the time,all your suffering will goes away.(i know,i had to suffer the same!)kisses helena(and sorry for my american!?)

You have the right to pay your respects as much as anyone else that was close to him. Hopefully they'd realize that's it's a time of respect and not silly bickering. So, if it were me. I'd pay my respects.

Thank you and welcome to Mingle

Go pay your respects. It is the father-in-law you loved you are going to go see, no one else. You'll regret it if your don't.

These are the situations were you have to rise above the unpleasantness to do the right thing for both you and your memories of someone you cared about.

Maybe if one of my kids go with me, it won't be so bad. My ex has four sisters that thrive on drama and I just don't want to go there and have them start something...I don't know. Thanks for all the input guys

you can pay your respects without attending the viewing. let the family grieve or do whatever they are planning. you could send flowers (have them delivered) and some facilities will allow people to view before or after the official event. if you show up, there will be drama. later you can always visit the burial site alone or with your children

Ask the family if it is okay for you to attend. If it is not then send a card and pay your respects from home

I have to agree with ese. funerals are really for the living, the family. if your going is going to cause problems then I would recommend not going. he'll know you cared whether you go or not...JMHO

HE KNOWS YOUR LOVE NOW.. .and THEIR RESPECT OR ANGER is the only thing going, would accomplish..
I would GO,,,ONLY IF,,One of my kids was wanting to pay him their respects and we would go together,,in and out quickly as possible,,,so no comments MIGHT be made while there to cause a big scene,,,for THAT,,,would never be the best? Good luck,,

If your kids want to go? Then go! You have every right to go,so do your kids.

I have to agree with ese & man0......Regardless the situation was between him and you. It was not the same feeling the rest of the family had..towards you.

I understand you wanting to go but this is one of those times that one should let well enough alone. It is not the place to make everyone involved uncomfortable.

One can pay their respect from afar and make the viewing if you choose but make it short & sweet and when only a few will be there.

Pay your respects, and then leave quietly. Politely say your condolences to family members and continue on. If anyone says anything ignore it and move on down the line. Any attitude on their part says more about them than it does about you, while your absence especially if you keep the kids ( if old enough) from attending even if briefly could fuel more drama in the long run.

My condolences on your loss!

well I think that's the fine point
her children are family

but she no longer is

I would question attending a family only event of any kind as a non family member without an invitation

I wouldn't go - I'd go with the kids to the cemetery later

nevermind

No...we actually had no children together... we raised my five and his two together for fifteen years...and it isn't a non-family event...it is a public visitation...but I think I will simply send a card and leave it at that. His sisters are very bitter toward me and I really don't want any issues between us at a time like this.....thanks guys.

Well then,I think that it is best that you pay your respects in your own way.I sure feel for you sweety.

Well I am sorry to hear about your loss.
Do what you feel is right for you in your own heart.
It is about him...not them.
Big hugs for you.

Thank you for all of the input...I think the card is going to be best