Community > General Discussion

Topic: What would you do?
iam4u Joined Fri 10/13/06 Posts: 30096	Wed 01/04/12 10:05 PM
Thank you for all of the input...I think the card is going to be best Prayers,,

Tulareman Joined Thu 08/25/11 Posts: 487	Wed 01/04/12 11:53 PM
In my opinion, I think it would be best to send the card and stay home. You can visit the grave site at a later date when you know it will be just you and him alone. That way. No unpleasant confrontations and more bad memories.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Thu 01/05/12 12:29 AM
If your kids want to go? Then go! You have every right to go,so do your kids. well I think that's the fine point her children are family but she no longer is I would question attending a family only event of any kind as a non family member without an invitation I wouldn't go - I'd go with the kids to the cemetery later No...we actually had no children together... we raised my five and his two together for fifteen years...and it isn't a non-family event...it is a public visitation...but I think I will simply send a card and leave it at that. His sisters are very bitter toward me and I really don't want any issues between us at a time like this.....thanks guys. well I do apologize for my assumptions that were based on the wrong criteria. You know them best so you are probably best suited to decide if your presence would create open hostility. if it is simply a matter of them not being happy about it...to me that would not matter. so the new criteria gives a different perspective (I still probably wouldn't go because I don't like funerals and I don't like being around people I do not care for. but this is you we're discussing, not me).

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Thu 01/05/12 06:37 AM
I would go and pay my respect and ignore the others.

shilo58102 Joined Mon 11/21/11 Posts: 5	Thu 01/05/12 12:19 PM
I would go to the funeral- forget what others might say.

teadipper Joined Wed 10/19/11 Posts: 2732	Thu 01/05/12 12:29 PM
My ex and I parted on very bad feelings and his family does not like me at all because of things he has said. The only member of that family that ever made me feel like I belonged was my ex father-in-law. My ex father-in-law just passed a few minutes ago and I am already wondering...should I hold my head up and pay my respects, or stay away and send a card? I dearly loved this man and so did all of my kids, but with the way his family acts toward me, I don't know if I should go to the visitation, or stay home. Okay as a self proclaimed biotch in the Meredith Brooks sense and also a person who hangs with guys, and this is rude of me, I say "HE, YOUR FRIEND, IS DEAD AND GONE. HE KNEW AND PROBABLY STILL KNOWS HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO YOU AND THAT YOU LOVED HIM". If these other azzes mean nothing to you, you have no reason to attend a funeral. You attend a funeral to comfort the living not the the dead. Now if it brings YOU comfort, go. If it means stress, screw it. He wouldn't want you to have to deal with abuse. You can visit his grave ALONE LATER.

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Thu 01/05/12 12:54 PM
For me, I would talk to your children , how do they feel, mine would want to go, so I would go and forget everyone else, do what ever you think is right for you and your children

krupa Joined Thu 07/03/08 Posts: 18651	Thu 01/05/12 04:38 PM
Remember the guy fondly and honor the memory. The card will get scoffed at and pitched. Nothing to be gained by showing up at the funeral but dealing with scathing looks from pieces of schitt who would rather treat you like dirt than honor the man's memory. My suggestion....step out into a clear night sky and say your piece to the spirit you honor He will know it.

Grim14u Joined Sun 01/01/12 Posts: 390	Thu 01/05/12 04:44 PM
Go pay Respects........Be cordial....if anyone says anything out of line..... Bite you're lip and leave. Show you're Integrity...even if they don't show their's....

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Thu 01/05/12 05:22 PM
Pay your respects if you want to. Nod at the A holes. And go home. That's what I would do.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Thu 01/05/12 05:31 PM
My ex and I parted on very bad feelings and his family does not like me at all because of things he has said. The only member of that family that ever made me feel like I belonged was my ex father-in-law. My ex father-in-law just passed a few minutes ago and I am already wondering...should I hold my head up and pay my respects, or stay away and send a card? I dearly loved this man and so did all of my kids, but with the way his family acts toward me, I don't know if I should go to the visitation, or stay home. You loved him, you need closure...Go... I am sorry for your loss...((( )))

winterblue56 Joined Sun 12/12/10 Posts: 2465	Thu 01/05/12 06:05 PM
Go pay your respects. It is the father-in-law you loved you are going to go see, no one else. You'll regret it if your don't. These are the situations were you have to rise above the unpleasantness to do the right thing for both you and your memories of someone you cared about. Ditto

winterblue56 Joined Sun 12/12/10 Posts: 2465	Thu 01/05/12 06:06 PM
you can pay your respects without attending the viewing. let the family grieve or do whatever they are planning. you could send flowers (have them delivered) and some facilities will allow people to view before or after the official event. if you show up, there will be drama. later you can always visit the burial site alone or with your children double ditto

winterblue56 Joined Sun 12/12/10 Posts: 2465	Thu 01/05/12 06:09 PM
If your kids want to go? Then go! You have every right to go,so do your kids. well I think that's the fine point her children are family but she no longer is I would question attending a family only event of any kind as a non family member without an invitation I wouldn't go - I'd go with the kids to the cemetery later No...we actually had no children together... we raised my five and his two together for fifteen years...and it isn't a non-family event...it is a public visitation...but I think I will simply send a card and leave it at that. His sisters are very bitter toward me and I really don't want any issues between us at a time like this.....thanks guys. I'm sorry for your loss sweetie. They are going to talk about you if you go ....and if you don't attend. Let your heart guide you. Your father-in-law knows your heart now

Seakolony Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 11968	Thu 01/05/12 06:10 PM
I would send a card and go to the grave site later after the family has left to pay respects there.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 01/05/12 06:48 PM
It depends if it is a private service or a public funeral. If it is public, then go if you want to go. It is not for them, it is for you to say goodbye.