Millsdd,

Take a minute to breathe and live don't rush the process. take this
break as an opportunity to learn your relationship likes and dislikes.
Get a piece of paper and write down the pro's and con's of the good
things you lke about the women in all your relationships and write down
the bad. This process should help you get a little insight into the
type of woman you should steer clear of and the ones that may be
candidates.

And please don't feel bad we will continue to learn new thing about
ourselves and others until the day we leave this earth.
So use this as a opportunity to learn more about what you need not want
out of a relationship.

well, my friend.

I've said this manytines.

You don't look for the right person, You become the right person.

A quote by a very good friend of mine.

Have a good night friend.

you are right Ghost.

yeah if you really want to stop talking about this come join me and
ghost if you want i started a new page.

hey are you talking about women or men or both. lol
hey i just happen to be one of those weirdos that just might take their
close off and run around naked but it also depends on the day, time and
how i feel if i'm feeling rebelish then hell yeah lets all go start a
nudest colony. fuck yeah (only go looking guys, kind hearted and special
guys allowed) lol

your all crazy if you read and belive all i just wrote cause it ain't
true for the most part.

Here's the question for all you. Which is harder finding Mr. or Ms.
Right, or trying to get the perfect job? Think about that.

Love and relationships are kinda like learning to ride a bike. First
you go really slow and you have training wheels on. Then the training
wheels come off and the real fun starts. You get on the bike, go
forward a few feet and fall off. You scrape your knees and bruise your
elbows. It hurts. You cry. Then you get back on and try again. And
you fall again and it hurts. Do you stop getting back on the bike? No,
you don't. You know that people ride bikes all the time and you'll
eventually get it down. You try and you fall and it hurts...you get
back up and try again. Maybe you fall the first 50 times you
try...sooner or later you stop falling and you ride around the block.
Pretty soon you're racing your friends.

I'd like to know why you stayed in a "loveless marriage" for 20 years.
At some point you've gotta take some responsibility for the decisions
you made...and you did choose to stay.

As far as the women that have hurt you...learn from those
"relationships" and take what you can from them. Personally, I would
venture to say that you give too much of yourself too soon. I'm pretty
guarded when a relationship first starts...I'll tell the truth if you
ask me a question, but there are some things I just will not volunteer
to someone right away. I know (trust me on this) that there are a lot
of people that will use information about your history against you...and
I just refuse to give them ammo.

What's worth the pain? The education that it gives you. The BS you go
through makes you smarter and lets you know what you shouldn't do.

Why not just give up? I was ready to, seriously. I was completely
comvinced that I was better off alone and that I didn't need to know
anyone else and no one needed to know me. My plan was work and home and
that's it. I was done. My dest friend said, "don't give up." She told
me that although I was broken, busted and disgusted...to just keep my
mind open to the possiblity that there were still good guys out
there...I just didn't know them yet. Maybe I just needed to associate
with a better class of people...be more picky and cautious.

I'm glad I followed her advice. I'm glad I didn't give up and shut
myself away from the world. I'm still single and I'm okay with that. I
like myself and I'm gonna be alright. I'm gonna have what I deserve
from a man...and only I can make sure that happens. I can say that I
have met someone who has changed my opinion on men. Not everyone with
testicles is a total asshole hell-bent on destroying me. I'm glad that
I gave him a chance and got to know him...I'm truly better off for it.

Take some time to lick your wounds and breathe. Focus on you for
awhile...get to know yourself again. In time you'll be ready to try
again...and it'll be scary as hell. Just remember that no matter how
many times you fall and scrape your knees...eventually you'll ride that
bike...and race off like the wind.

~hugs~

Just don't give up all women are not the same.

I believe I AM the right person, I'm a good guy who doesn't screw
around, doesn't belittle or berate women (or abuse them)I treat all
women with respect and when in a relationship devotion. That's the
person I am and I'm telling you that no matter how or where I've met
women I've been kicked to the curb for the "bad boy" who they'll flat
out tell me is no good for them and they know will hurt them but that he
"excites" something in them. I swear I'm going to puke in the face of
the next person who says to me "you're a great guy.... but"
It's been my experience that there's way too much truth in the phrase
"nice guys finish last" and I'm tired of it. I can't change who I am if
it means becoming some asshole who doesn't mind being hurtful to the
people he cares about and until someone can tell me how to identify the
women who really want a guy like me and not the ones who are just
looking to screw with my mind and see how long it will take them to
convince me they really care and respect me I HAVE given up.

I'm so damned afraid of going through this again, not having any clue
what I'm doing wrong or if I'm going to hurt someone else because I hold
back for my fears.

then you get accused of "falling to quickly"

Millsdd, I can understand what you are going through. I've been there,
but one thing I know for sure is I am who I am and no one can change
that but me. And at this point I don't want to change I like who I am
today. If they don't tough shit.I believe it is all in how you put
yourself out to be. I'm up front with who I am so there is no bull shit.
And most woman that I'VE ran into can't handle that fact of somone being
real. In all I say for get the what if this and what if that. Just be
yourself. And If any woman that you run into has a heart. They will take
there time in getting to know you for who you are.

Txsgal, Big smile. I think a lot of people are afraid to be honest with
themselves. If they were it would show who they realy are. Now we can't
have none of that. Now could we. lol

OK OK you win, IL bow. lol

Now that I'm thinking about this. I can't count how many time I've got a
message from a woman that shows off her body, most likely thinking this
guy looks like he partys a lot. But when I start to talk with them after
some time. The blond kicks in and if I could see there face. It might
look like that they are saying. What! lol

I just don't know :(

Jus my lil opinion here..why give up. no one should stop looking..hell
no its not easy anything worth having isn't easy..if we all gave up then
the world would be full of cold lonely empty people..you just gotta keep
plugging away and keep the faith..it will happen...sometime

Just like you, many women have gone through many of the same trials and
tribulations in life...I've been single 4 yrs..I don't necessarily like
being single, but that's just how it's worked out..I have met quite a
few guys since being single and let me tell ya, they are the reason I'm
still single...good guys are just as hard to find as a good woman..I've
been through my fair share in relationships as well...but no matter
what, you have to keep the faith that all will work out eventually...you
can't let a few bad apples spoil the whole bushel...

it almost seems like the choice is die now (give up) or keep trying and
be killed a little at a time. What's really got me bugged is that it's
been a couple of months and this last one I can't seem to let go. It's
always hurt but this time it seems even worse.

OK MILLS U READY TO SIT DOWN AND LISTEN?? OK LETS TALK!
FIrst of all, your a very nice looking gentleman, and IF U READ THAT
I SAID GENTLEMAN.....now....secondly, your open and honest, which is
good, most men are lacking in that category and so are women. Yes its
hard to find the right woman, butttt in this life, there is and do mean
this.....there is someone out there for EVERYONE.....we just have to
have FAITH!!! Dont frown at me ok?? I was raised in a sence that, untill
something happened, most things were not told to me, I had to be patient
and wait........but.....in waiting, my father died when i was 12 and my
mother died when i was 16. SO!!! I had to raise myself and deal with
issues i had never knew exsisted. It was hard, but I accomplished lots
of things, met alot of people and grew in street knowledge as well as
common sence.....yes i met men who were badd butts.......and i had my
share of ups and downs with them, buttttttttttttt i didnt let that get
the best of me. I strived to find someone just a tad bit better, and one
of whom if my grandmother were alive to this day WOULD BE SMILING and
saying OK NOW THATS THE ONE FOR YOU.....and u no what?? I have not found
him yet..why?? because most of the men I meet in there 50s , who have
been divorsed or widowed, sing me a song of pity, selishness, conciet or
just plain down right hard hearted I WANT TO BE BABIED
routines.........and u no what IM NOT BITING!!! Men like you are a
rarety.......sure we know ur out there but good god ur hard to find, and
most men who have been treated baddly arennt or dont become honest up
front with women, they tend to just play head games or just use most of
us GOOD WOMEN for there own selfish indulgance (SEXUAL GAMES) and that
in itself isnt what relationships should be based on........you have to
be BEST FREINDS FIRST......you have LEARN EACH OTHER......You have to
want to give and then give back and the same with the woman. BOTHE
GIVING.....you gotta be able to laugh cry stomp ur feet yell hugg dance
kiss pinch butts go places together and be comfortable in doing all that
or its just not gonna work.........if u get mad enough to want to hit
then buy some $10 dishes( wally world special,..giggling) go up in the
hills and chunck them at the treees.......(make sure u clean up the mess
afterwards) smiling... and or go and just YELL OUT LOAD all by
urself....it works wonders.......sometimes a good cry works......i know
it does for me......clears the mind and helps the heart grow
stronger.........but in general.......YOU WILL FIND A LADY WHO WILL
APPRECIATE YOU....BELEIVE ME U WILL........
Those bad boyz dont last long in fact they get the worst reps by being
BADD and u no what??? THEY MAKE THEEEE WORST LOVERS....
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........dont give up........just hang in
there........how would u like to have just worked and come home, taken
care of your children and did what needed to be done for over 14 yrs??
and never never and i do mean never even think about another person in
ur life?? WELL???
wel guess what?? that was me........I had given up......but u no what??
I have peace within myself..........I have let the man upstairs deal out
my life and I just accept what he gives me openly and honestly.......oh
sure i cry at times. but u no...i do date.. not often but i
do........and when i find that the man is not what im interested
in......I just politely say...i am sorry but i think its best we just
dont see one another, your just not for me, i am sorry.........and if he
chosess to call me names. well then i was right and the whispering in my
ear from the man upstairs was RIGHT...........
Just dont be so quick to jump into a relationship....be somewhat
picky.........enjoy life, yet dont just look at each woman as THE RIGHT
ONE.......take ur time.....date....stop and listen.....hear what they
say ..watch them move....smile...and yet be
cautious...........then........things will happen to a degree better
then u ever imagined..............okay??

but do me a favor will you??? please??
look for guideance from the man upstairs....in prayer ok.?
U would be surprised at whats in store for you....i know i did and he
is amazing if u just have FAITH!!!....

and smile more.....u have a great smile .......smile...

one big hugggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!


Dakotas55