Topic: Why am I here instead of giving up?
Benzy940's photo
Fri 10/13/06 10:56 PM
Millsdd,

Take a minute to breathe and live don't rush the process. take this
break as an opportunity to learn your relationship likes and dislikes.
Get a piece of paper and write down the pro's and con's of the good
things you lke about the women in all your relationships and write down
the bad. This process should help you get a little insight into the
type of woman you should steer clear of and the ones that may be
candidates.

And please don't feel bad we will continue to learn new thing about
ourselves and others until the day we leave this earth.
So use this as a opportunity to learn more about what you need not want
out of a relationship.

Ghostrecon's photo
Fri 10/13/06 10:57 PM
well, my friend.

I've said this manytines.

You don't look for the right person, You become the right person.

A quote by a very good friend of mine.

Have a good night friend.

Morena350's photo
Fri 10/13/06 11:01 PM
you are right Ghost.

JadeDemon's photo
Fri 10/13/06 11:01 PM
yeah if you really want to stop talking about this come join me and
ghost if you want i started a new page.

JadeDemon's photo
Fri 10/13/06 11:27 PM
hey are you talking about women or men or both. lol
hey i just happen to be one of those weirdos that just might take their
close off and run around naked but it also depends on the day, time and
how i feel if i'm feeling rebelish then hell yeah lets all go start a
nudest colony. fuck yeah (only go looking guys, kind hearted and special
guys allowed) lol

JadeDemon's photo
Fri 10/13/06 11:28 PM
your all crazy if you read and belive all i just wrote cause it ain't
true for the most part.

KoolDude79's photo
Fri 10/13/06 11:32 PM
Here's the question for all you. Which is harder finding Mr. or Ms.
Right, or trying to get the perfect job? Think about that.

Peachiepoohie's photo
Sat 10/14/06 01:18 AM
Love and relationships are kinda like learning to ride a bike. First
you go really slow and you have training wheels on. Then the training
wheels come off and the real fun starts. You get on the bike, go
forward a few feet and fall off. You scrape your knees and bruise your
elbows. It hurts. You cry. Then you get back on and try again. And
you fall again and it hurts. Do you stop getting back on the bike? No,
you don't. You know that people ride bikes all the time and you'll
eventually get it down. You try and you fall and it hurts...you get
back up and try again. Maybe you fall the first 50 times you
try...sooner or later you stop falling and you ride around the block.
Pretty soon you're racing your friends.

I'd like to know why you stayed in a "loveless marriage" for 20 years.
At some point you've gotta take some responsibility for the decisions
you made...and you did choose to stay.

As far as the women that have hurt you...learn from those
"relationships" and take what you can from them. Personally, I would
venture to say that you give too much of yourself too soon. I'm pretty
guarded when a relationship first starts...I'll tell the truth if you
ask me a question, but there are some things I just will not volunteer
to someone right away. I know (trust me on this) that there are a lot
of people that will use information about your history against you...and
I just refuse to give them ammo.

What's worth the pain? The education that it gives you. The BS you go
through makes you smarter and lets you know what you shouldn't do.

Why not just give up? I was ready to, seriously. I was completely
comvinced that I was better off alone and that I didn't need to know
anyone else and no one needed to know me. My plan was work and home and
that's it. I was done. My dest friend said, "don't give up." She told
me that although I was broken, busted and disgusted...to just keep my
mind open to the possiblity that there were still good guys out
there...I just didn't know them yet. Maybe I just needed to associate
with a better class of people...be more picky and cautious.

I'm glad I followed her advice. I'm glad I didn't give up and shut
myself away from the world. I'm still single and I'm okay with that. I
like myself and I'm gonna be alright. I'm gonna have what I deserve
from a man...and only I can make sure that happens. I can say that I
have met someone who has changed my opinion on men. Not everyone with
testicles is a total asshole hell-bent on destroying me. I'm glad that
I gave him a chance and got to know him...I'm truly better off for it.

Take some time to lick your wounds and breathe. Focus on you for
awhile...get to know yourself again. In time you'll be ready to try
again...and it'll be scary as hell. Just remember that no matter how
many times you fall and scrape your knees...eventually you'll ride that
bike...and race off like the wind.

~hugs~

chica42ny's photo
Sat 10/14/06 02:11 AM
Just don't give up all women are not the same.

millsdd's photo
Sat 10/14/06 04:31 PM
I believe I AM the right person, I'm a good guy who doesn't screw
around, doesn't belittle or berate women (or abuse them)I treat all
women with respect and when in a relationship devotion. That's the
person I am and I'm telling you that no matter how or where I've met
women I've been kicked to the curb for the "bad boy" who they'll flat
out tell me is no good for them and they know will hurt them but that he
"excites" something in them. I swear I'm going to puke in the face of
the next person who says to me "you're a great guy.... but"
It's been my experience that there's way too much truth in the phrase
"nice guys finish last" and I'm tired of it. I can't change who I am if
it means becoming some asshole who doesn't mind being hurtful to the
people he cares about and until someone can tell me how to identify the
women who really want a guy like me and not the ones who are just
looking to screw with my mind and see how long it will take them to
convince me they really care and respect me I HAVE given up.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/14/06 04:53 PM
Hummmm, well guess I want say your a good guy something about the
getting puked on don't appeal to me. But..... I guess if you find the
answer to your question you could answer alot of questions for the rest
of us you've been single for 7 years well try 15 yrs on it don't feel
any better believe me been there done that. Why do I keep trying for I
still believe my prince charming is out there somewhere. I've opt to
finding the worlds biggest backhoe for I'm beginning to think he is
under a really big boulder out there somewhere. Is this a dream for me
well it could very well be!! But... if I'm dreaming then don't awake me
for when we quit dreaming we quit living! And I don't know about you but
I'm not ready to give up yet. And by what I see you are not either for a
man don't come into one of these sites and spills his guts out for all
to see cause he is ready to give up its cause he still has in at least
one corner of his mind that there is a love out there for him to reach
up and grab and hold near for the rest of his life! So now you must
convince me that I'm not right on that one for I don't think you
honestly can!!! So start convincing me!

Well did the cat get your tongue? purrrrr

millsdd's photo
Sat 10/14/06 05:11 PM
I'm so damned afraid of going through this again, not having any clue
what I'm doing wrong or if I'm going to hurt someone else because I hold
back for my fears.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/14/06 05:13 PM
Well all I can say is love as you have never loved before for if you
hold back then you would be cheating the one you are trying to convince
and you already see how much that hurts so dont hold back. Hurt yeah it
hurts like hell but the way I see it is its better to have loved than
not to have loved at all.

millsdd's photo
Sat 10/14/06 05:22 PM
then you get accused of "falling to quickly"

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/14/06 05:23 PM
WELL MY ANSWER TO THAT IS SCREW THEM THEY ARE NOT THE ONE FOR YOU
ANYWAY! LMAO

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/14/06 05:32 PM
Ya know milsdd to find a man with your outlook and valuas of women would
be like a dream come true to most women that I know and to have one that
would fall head over heels with ya and only have eyes for you ohhhhh
come on that is a fairy tail come true so dont think your doing anything
wrong. The other person must love you the way you are dont go changing
for it would all be a lie and relantionships based on lies never work
out.

TheShadow's photo
Sat 10/14/06 07:37 PM
Millsdd, I can understand what you are going through. I've been there,
but one thing I know for sure is I am who I am and no one can change
that but me. And at this point I don't want to change I like who I am
today. If they don't tough shit.I believe it is all in how you put
yourself out to be. I'm up front with who I am so there is no bull shit.
And most woman that I'VE ran into can't handle that fact of somone being
real. In all I say for get the what if this and what if that. Just be
yourself. And If any woman that you run into has a heart. They will take
there time in getting to know you for who you are.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/14/06 07:43 PM
Shadow, your so right my exact thoughts. There has been times I feel as
if I'm too honest and straight forward and yeah it has seemed to make a
few back off. But... the way I see it if they back off it's because
honesty is not one thing they know how to handle for they don't know how
to be honest themselves.

TheShadow's photo
Sat 10/14/06 07:53 PM
Txsgal, Big smile. I think a lot of people are afraid to be honest with
themselves. If they were it would show who they realy are. Now we can't
have none of that. Now could we. lol

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/14/06 07:58 PM
Ohhh for sure for that would show what is truely in our hearts and god
forbid if we lay our heart out for all to see afraid of what might
happen. Guess I will take my chance and if it gets stomped on will it
make me turn and run nah might make me think for a min. but guess I'm
glutten for punishment for if they don't like me for who I'm how do they
expect me to like them for who they are?