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| Topic: Dates: Who should pay? | |
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Hi ladies and gentleman I'm just taking a poll out of curiosity so I know what the dating climate is these days. Who should pay on a date? guy always? always split the check? take turns each consecutive date? or whoever asks for the date? whoever can afford it? Your feedback is greatly appreciated! First meet...each pays for their own and when the order is taken (even if it is just coffee or drinks), speak up and ask for separate checks...this takes the responsibility off the man... As you are starting out in a new relationship, the person who asks for the date pays.... In an established relationship, all of that is, or should be, discussed..who pays, how much money can we afford to spend, where to eat, what to do etc....all discussed... 
I think if that works for you it's fine, but the same thing isn't going to work for everyone, necessarily. Some men might be offended by you asking for separate checks, some might be relieved. I don;t think that's something I would do if HE has made the invite - I'd feel like it was too controlling While I haven't asked for separate checks, I've offered to pay. No man has ever been offended by that. So asking for separate checks at the beginning of a first date may work out for some. |
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Hi ladies and gentleman I'm just taking a poll out of curiosity so I know what the dating climate is these days. Who should pay on a date? guy always? always split the check? take turns each consecutive date? or whoever asks for the date? whoever can afford it? Your feedback is greatly appreciated! First meet...each pays for their own and when the order is taken (even if it is just coffee or drinks), speak up and ask for separate checks...this takes the responsibility off the man... As you are starting out in a new relationship, the person who asks for the date pays.... In an established relationship, all of that is, or should be, discussed..who pays, how much money can we afford to spend, where to eat, what to do etc....all discussed...
I think if that works for you it's fine, but the same thing isn't going to work for everyone, necessarily. Some men might be offended by you asking for separate checks, some might be relieved. I don;t think that's something I would do if HE has made the invite - I'd feel like it was too controlling While I haven't asked for separate checks, I've offered to pay. No man has ever been offended by that. So asking for separate checks at the beginning of a first date may work out for some. possible I guess I think we all have our comfort zones. To me that sounds controlling, but prolly because I'm not used to it - and I am speaking strictly about first couple of dates. for coffee shop meet ups I'll usually go in & get my coffee and THEN try and find my person (guy). But I also don;t like coffeeshop meet ups - but not because of buying my coffee, that's inconsequential. I do not like meeting for the first time and trying to have a get to know u conversation with 1000 pairs of ears listening in.... |
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Hi ladies and gentleman I'm just taking a poll out of curiosity so I know what the dating climate is these days. Who should pay on a date? guy always? always split the check? take turns each consecutive date? or whoever asks for the date? whoever can afford it? Your feedback is greatly appreciated! First meet...each pays for their own and when the order is taken (even if it is just coffee or drinks), speak up and ask for separate checks...this takes the responsibility off the man... As you are starting out in a new relationship, the person who asks for the date pays.... In an established relationship, all of that is, or should be, discussed..who pays, how much money can we afford to spend, where to eat, what to do etc....all discussed...
I think if that works for you it's fine, but the same thing isn't going to work for everyone, necessarily. Some men might be offended by you asking for separate checks, some might be relieved. I don;t think that's something I would do if HE has made the invite - I'd feel like it was too controlling While I haven't asked for separate checks, I've offered to pay. No man has ever been offended by that. So asking for separate checks at the beginning of a first date may work out for some. possible I guess I think we all have our comfort zones. To me that sounds controlling, but prolly because I'm not used to it - and I am speaking strictly about first couple of dates. for coffee shop meet ups I'll usually go in & get my coffee and THEN try and find my person (guy). But I also don;t like coffeeshop meet ups - but not because of buying my coffee, that's inconsequential. I do not like meeting for the first time and trying to have a get to know u conversation with 1000 pairs of ears listening in.... I don't see it as being controlling at all. Though, I don't even ask for separate checks with friends, so I doubt I'd do it on a date. I just offer to pay my share. I don't see that as controlling either. I'm not saying it needs to be done at all. Everyone just does what works best for them. |
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No no, not controlling. Its just what keeps everyone comfortable. We can all choose what makes us comfortable. We are all different. Its one thing to 'offer' and another to 'insist'. Insisting is controlling, sure. that's what I mean. If a man asks me out I would feel like I was trying to take over the evening he planned by piping up and asking the waitress for separate checks. I usually offer to the man directly to contribute my half or leave a tip. Unless he takes me some place I could not normally afford - when I am invited some place like that I usually tell him ahead that it is out of my price range. but that's only happened twice that I can recall |
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I find it strange that people talk about who pays IN A RELATIONSHIP as I am an awesome cook and my thing is that if I have the keys to their place or live with them, you know I love you if you come home to roast bird, or stew, or meatloaf or a pot roast. That is my thing. Have him walk through the door to the smell of dinner. I mean yes I will go out but I think it is much more fun to have them come home to a house or apartment that you can smell dinner is cooked or cooking. And I will use the bread machine or bake cookies for that aroma too esp. if they have been having a crappy week or something.
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Hi ladies and gentleman I'm just taking a poll out of curiosity so I know what the dating climate is these days. Who should pay on a date? guy always? always split the check? take turns each consecutive date? or whoever asks for the date? whoever can afford it? Your feedback is greatly appreciated! First meet...each pays for their own and when the order is taken (even if it is just coffee or drinks), speak up and ask for separate checks...this takes the responsibility off the man... As you are starting out in a new relationship, the person who asks for the date pays.... In an established relationship, all of that is, or should be, discussed..who pays, how much money can we afford to spend, where to eat, what to do etc....all discussed...
I think if that works for you it's fine, but the same thing isn't going to work for everyone, necessarily. Some men might be offended by you asking for separate checks, some might be relieved. I don;t think that's something I would do if HE has made the invite - I'd feel like it was too controlling While I haven't asked for separate checks, I've offered to pay. No man has ever been offended by that. So asking for separate checks at the beginning of a first date may work out for some. possible I guess I think we all have our comfort zones. To me that sounds controlling, but prolly because I'm not used to it - and I am speaking strictly about first couple of dates. for coffee shop meet ups I'll usually go in & get my coffee and THEN try and find my person (guy). But I also don;t like coffeeshop meet ups - but not because of buying my coffee, that's inconsequential. I do not like meeting for the first time and trying to have a get to know u conversation with 1000 pairs of ears listening in.... Hey Sweet!  I don't ask for separate checks to control him...I ask because it is a first meet and I want him to know I am in control of ME...
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Hi ladies and gentleman I'm just taking a poll out of curiosity so I know what the dating climate is these days. Who should pay on a date? guy always? always split the check? take turns each consecutive date? or whoever asks for the date? whoever can afford it? Your feedback is greatly appreciated! First meet...each pays for their own and when the order is taken (even if it is just coffee or drinks), speak up and ask for separate checks...this takes the responsibility off the man... As you are starting out in a new relationship, the person who asks for the date pays.... In an established relationship, all of that is, or should be, discussed..who pays, how much money can we afford to spend, where to eat, what to do etc....all discussed...
I think if that works for you it's fine, but the same thing isn't going to work for everyone, necessarily. Some men might be offended by you asking for separate checks, some might be relieved. I don;t think that's something I would do if HE has made the invite - I'd feel like it was too controlling While I haven't asked for separate checks, I've offered to pay. No man has ever been offended by that. So asking for separate checks at the beginning of a first date may work out for some. possible I guess I think we all have our comfort zones. To me that sounds controlling, but prolly because I'm not used to it - and I am speaking strictly about first couple of dates. for coffee shop meet ups I'll usually go in & get my coffee and THEN try and find my person (guy). But I also don;t like coffeeshop meet ups - but not because of buying my coffee, that's inconsequential. I do not like meeting for the first time and trying to have a get to know u conversation with 1000 pairs of ears listening in.... Hey Sweet! I don't ask for separate checks to control him...I ask because it is a first meet and I want him to know I am in control of ME...
I think that is very wise. Guys here in CA sometimes think a $30 dinner is equal to what you would pay a hooker. If a guy EVEN talks sexual to me within a first date (someone I do not know), I am putting down MORE THAN MY SHARE OF THE CHECK to make it clear I am not for sale AND if they get raunchy, I offer to drop them of on the Avenue WHERE THE ACTUALLY HOOKERS ARE. |
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I am old fashioned and think the gentlemanly thing to do is hold the doors for the lady, pull out her seat for her let her order anything she wants and pay for the meal, drinks and dancing.
Then hope she feels obligated to put out. :) |
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I am old fashioned and think the gentlemanly thing to do is hold the doors for the lady, pull out her seat for her let her order anything she wants and pay for the meal, drinks and dancing. Then hope she feels obligated to put out. :)  that sounds like a real man to me....
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I am old fashioned and think the gentlemanly thing to do is hold the doors for the lady, pull out her seat for her let her order anything she wants and pay for the meal, drinks and dancing. Then hope she feels obligated to put out. :)  Is this on the first date or the second Krupie?
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I think whover asks should pay but i always offer my part.and if someone is less well of account for that ie a nice walk, cofee shop, pub drink, art gallery not a fancy restaurant
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Whoever asks for the DATE should pay
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